Ennea: TRIAD EMOTIONS (Part 2)

FEAR triad
I NEVER ADMIT TO ANYONE

that I’m deeply afraid inside

PREVIOUS: Triad Emotions (Heart)

SITE: “Emotional Sobriety” (AA & the Enneagram)

567s – THE HEAD / Thinking Triad: Fearful & Unsafe

PHYSIOLOGY: triad associated with the neo-cortex, which is most highly developed in humans
FOCUS: this ‘Center of Intelligence” uses logical, left-brain intellect primarily, tending to ignore heart & gut input
ROOT Emotions: FEAR, Anxiety, Dread

RESPONSE: from their head first, then act or not act, in response
POWER: comes from the ability to think
TIME: mainly to the future – what they look forward to, good or bad
UNDERSTAND Life: best when translated into logic or thought processes, sometimes taking the form of rules & instructions

This group thinks AND creates feara lot, via negative anticipation:
5s think too much & therefore act too little, too much time & effort is needed to complete their thoughts before expressing them
6s deny the value of their thoughts & actions, ping-ponging between extremes of too much or too little certainty about thoughts, most out of touch with direct knowing
7s act too much, and think too little – which is often incomplete. They doesn’t stay with an idea long enough to see it through in reality, so the optimal function of the Head Center – to completely understand – is aborted

● 5s & 7s (& some 6s) aren’t very focused on the outside world or on what others think – often appearing distrustful, superficial or uninterested. In reality, these surface reactions are defense mechanisms against their fear of being destroyed by a frightening world in some way. 567s look for reassurance in B & W facts by using logic, not always appreciated by other Types. Even though being well-reasoned can be a positive in many circumstance, it becomes a negative when ignoring intuition, emotions or actions in dealing with problems – causing misunderstanding & conflict.

● Their FEAR (even if not always experienced directly) creates a deep insecurity, which may be expressed as fear of failure, of not doing the right thing, of missing good opportunities, & especially – of not understanding what’s going on – depending on the Type. Since living in one’s head includes imagining, it can also include obsessive worry about what might happen. And when severely stressed, especially over a long time, the fear can become panic, making them come to a dead stop until they can get enough new info to proceed. (This is not the anxiety of the 234s, who react with impulsive activity).

“MANAGING” FEAR
FIVES – Investigators
5s expect to run out of resources – so they frequently hoard energy, info, money, time…. They assume they can successfully deal with their fear by being in constant strategy mode – as if honing their skills enough will prepare them for anything scary ‘out there’. Relying on their first-rate thinking process to decipher what they consider an illogical world, ego-driven Fives can appear very cool, calm & collected – or secretive loners who focus their minds on the nature of the universe. They hope that understanding reality in their own way will eventually allow them to rejoin the world, but they never believe they know enough to participate with total confidence. Instead, they can get caught up with increasingly complex inner worlds.

Root: 5s original sense of violation & abandonment leads to experiencing the world as a scary place. They’re overwhelmed by emotions & life’s demands, afraid of not knowing how to cope & of not having enough facts to explain things
Express fear by: internalizing it & live in their head, rather than connecting with individuals or the larger society. They may take the time to consider their emotions, but later & in private – so there’s a time lag.

Deal with fear by: ignoring emotions & quietly observing what’s going on around them. They retreat to the safety of their private space, accumulating as much knowledge as they possibly can, & mull everything over to make (mental) order of it all. They’re often disconnected from day-to-day life, assuming that figuring the ins & outs of the world will free them of dread, without actually facing it.

Respond to their fear: by collecting &/or hoarding money, possessions & energy tightly. Resentful of having their ‘space’ intruded on, they retreat from anything that make them anxious, into a private universe where they need only rely on themselves
Alleviate fear: by using their intellect to feel omniscience, looking for answers to life’s riddles in isolation

SIXES – Loyalists
6s, unlike 5s, have trouble trusting their own minds, which are reeling with negative, fearful possibilities, while not thinking things through for themselves. They expect the worst to happen so they spend a lot of time making sure they are protected against every eventuality.
Wanting so much to be liked & feel safe, they constantly look outside for guidance – to authorities, beliefs, jobs, philosophies, relationships, saving…. But no matter how many security structures they create, 6s are still filled with doubt & fear – as long as they’re not listening to their own inner voice. Phobic 6s can end up mistrusting the very people & beliefs they’ve turned to for reassurance, while counter-phobics will often react impulsively, confronting & defying the fear in an effort to be free of it – without considering the underlying causes, or possible negative consequences of their rashness.

Root: 6s are deeply afraid of being abandoned, which comes from people’s unpredictability. This makes them the most anxious of the 3 Types, & the most out of touch with their own sense of inner knowing & confidence
Express fear by: waffling between inner & outer expressions. At the center of the triad, they’re plagued by doubt, not quite sure what they think about anything. They can neither trust themselves nor the outside world, but can’t actually experience it as ‘fear’, therefore their Janus-like quality
Respond to their fear: BY projecting several negative outcomes scenarios and/or acting fearless as a way to cope with their ever-present insecurity

Deal with it by either rebelling against authority or surrendering to it:|
— being overly anxious & always on guard, suspicious of anything unfamiliar (phobic). 6s don’t believe in their own abilities, so they look to the world to handle their anxiety & dread for them
— OR repressing fear, pretending there is absolutely no reason to ever feel scared (counter-phobic). They do this by surrounding themselves with safety/security systems & lots of ‘helpful’ people
Alleviate fear: BY organizing their tribe into strong groups, & presenting a unified front against “them”. They ask anyone & everyone else for answers they could solve themselves

SEVENS – Enthusiasts
7s don’t expect things to work out very well, so they make sure to have multiple options, along with the habit of deliberately staying clear of any form of unpleasantness, as much as possible. To distract from their hidden fears, they keep their minds occupied with exciting possibilities & options. When they want help, they look to others indirectly, getting info from conversation & by activities. They rarely look inward for guidance or at their patterns, so they tend not to learn from their mistakes – being too busy to stop & consider.

● Their main focus is on pleasure & getting what they want – with less concern for the needs or desires of others. They’re afraid of missing out on anything, of not being connected to life. Being a thinking type AND wanting to have pleasant feelings gives then a strong visual mind, so they can live in their daydreams. But they also make every effort to act on as many of their ideas as they can – staying on the go, pursuing one experience after another, keeping themselves amused.

Root: 7s are deeply afraid of feeling the pain of their inner world – wanting to avoid more abandonment, deprivation & loss
Express the fear by: externalizing the fear, avoiding it entirely by distracting themselves – always being up, always having options (to run) & always planning new feel-good escapes
Deal with fear: they’re always fighting negativity, failure & boredom, so even their ‘commitments’ have backup plans – just in case. A need for constant stimulation can turn into an addiction to excitement.

Respond to their fear: with positive thinking & taking on new challenges,
losing themselves in exciting adventures, trying to satisfy every need
Alleviate fear: BY consuming everything they can, & becoming so great that they’re bigger & stronger than those around them. They accumulate
people, experiences & possessions to insulate them from anything unpleasant or painful.
(MORE…. from Lynette Sheppard)

QUESTIONS to ask yourself (for Types 567)

CONTEMPLATIVE PRACTICES (Christian focus)

NEXT: Triad Emotions (Body)

Ennea: TRIAD EMOTIONS (Part 1)

LOVE triad 

I’M SO FULL OF EMOTIONS
I don’t know what to do with them!

PREVIOUS: Triad Emotions – Intro

SITE: Enneagram: Ancient knowledge, modern psychology

234s – HEART / Feeling Triad: Low Self-Esteem & Longing
PHYSIOLOGY: triad associated with the mammalian part of our brain
FOCUS: this ‘Center of Intelligence” uses emotions, intuition & imagery – rather than bodily senses
ROOT Emotions: SHAME, & GRIEF/Sadness, hidden HOSTILITY

RESPONSE: from their heart first, then the head, & gut last
POWER: from their ability to instinctively feel emotions
TIME: mainly to the Past, needing to feel connected to long-term relationships & events
UNDERSTAND Life: best when info is translated into symbols of desire, through people & stories about themselves or their old experiences

● 234s long for a sense of identity, of figuring out “Who am I?”. Instead of going inward for this information, their main attention is on getting Affirmation From Others, especially those they feel close to, to the point of side-lining their own deepest needs. Total reliance on validation from others can lead to only being able to see themselves thru others’ eyes, unreliable at best, or to low self-esteem & possibly despair. It’s also called the “image” triad, because of a concern with how they are ‘seen’

GRIEF / Sadness comes from negating oneself by having substituted a ‘persona’ as a partial or full replacement for the True Self. As children they didn’t have accurate or adequate mirroring. Not being able to handle their pain, they chase after attention & validation. When they feel a real or imagined threat to a connection with an important ‘other’, they can get very distressed, even panicked. This motivates them to stay attached, or do whatever is necessary to re-connect.

IMMATURE: While they may seem very emotional to others, these Types are the least in touch with their primitive senses (the way 8s are). Their natural instinct is to pick up emotional energy from the environment, the same way an audience takes on the enthusiasm of a charismatic motivational speaker, & then acts it out as if it was their own, (like audiences do with Tony Robbins)
EXP: 4s can be pseudo-authentic (dramatic), who assume they must be unique to receive love…. Actually – for them true authenticity would be to include emotions they may think are too ‘ordinary’ (caring, comfortable, annoyed, disappointed….)
MATURE: When healthy, their sensitivity makes these Types admirable, being highly valued for their genuine thoughtfulness & interpersonal skills.

Hidden AGGRESSION: 234s don’t openly acknowledge their wish/need to be aggressive. Instead they use manipulation, guilt & self-pity – more passive ways of asserting themselves, which they consider safer

SHAME : In this context, it is the feeling of being “in the spotlight,” under scrutiny, rather than feeling ashamed of themselves as human beings. It grows out of the deep-seated preoccupation with the need to “See me the way I want to be seen” (rather than for who they truly are), which motivates their characteristic styles.

TWOS – Helpers / Caretakers
Dealing with emotions: 2s are the most emotionally externalized, focusing outward their grief & shame. They over-express the positive aspects of their heart – at the expense of being real, so it’s an incomplete or false contact. However, they get a lot out of giving of themselves & conforming to the needs of others around them.
Need to be seen: Shows up as the need to be recognized for their affection & care of others, a form of ‘possessive affectivity’*
*Affectivity: Something influenced by, sensitive to or results from emotions

Shame: 2s compensate for shame by denying hostility, trying always to act in an idealized way (good girl/good boy). They feel shame when they meet with any form of disapproval, because they want so badly to be loved. The try to control their shame by working very hard to convince themselves & others of being totally virtuous. They only allow themselves pleasant emotions & thoughts toward others, while repressing ‘ugly’ ones (such as anger & resentment for not being appreciated enough) – denying the possibility they may not be unconditionally loving.
— As long as 2s can get positive emotional responses from others, they feel acceptable, which helps to control the shame.

THREES – Achievers / Performers
Dealing with Emotions: at the core of the triad, 3s are most out of touch with their heart-feelings, which are suspended so they can make a good impression, get the job done, & behave as or become the type of person they believe will make the greatest impression or win the greatest accolades. So they need to repress shame & grief, making it hard for them to know directly what they want or could hold as theirs alone (needs, gifts, dreams, wants….)
Need to be seen: their own success is most important, especially career-wise. This kind of recognition-need can be called ‘functional affectivity’

Shame: they deny their shame by disconnecting from their hearts, hiding from their underlying feelings of inadequacy, & then try to fill the gap by ‘being’ what they achieve. They do feel shame (but don’t recognize it as such) if they experience any form of rejection, because they so want to be desirable. 3s focus on accomplishing tasks & ‘managing’ their shame by trying to become what they imagine a valuable, successful person is like. They learn to perform well, to be acceptable, even outstanding, often driven to relentlessly pursue success as a way of staving off feelings of shame & fear of failure

NOTE: Healthy 3s – from bonding with a loving mother – are the most authentic souls on the planet. Self-actualized 3s attract others with their magnetic personalities
Unhealthy – from bonding with a narcissistic mother – become sham artists, to hide an undeveloped soul. Hard-driving achievers, they claw their way to the top & crow when they get there, but their own narcissism drives others away.

FOURS – Loyalists
Dealing with Emotions: 4s are emotionally internalized, under-expressing their connecting-heart, & focusing their grief & shame inward. They have an artistic temperament, a love for aesthetics & are intense about everything – absorbed in their inner life, but away from their true feelings.
Need to be seen: they deeply want recognition for their originality, the need to be considered unique & special, often with ‘negative affectivity’

Shame: they try to control their shame by shoving hostility down deep, never finding it, experience it when they feel they don’t belong or are criticized, because they’re so afraid of being defective, & are the most likely to feel inadequate. To compensate, they focus on how unique & special their particular characteristics, emotions & talents are – highlight their individuality & creativity.
4s also cover up their shame by cultivating a rich, romantic fantasy life to escape having to deal with ‘reality’ – whatever seems drab or uninteresting to them – using dramatic feelings & imagination to soothe themselves, & fill in the sense of self they’re think is missing.
(MORE…. from Lynette Sheppard)

QUESTIONS to ask yourself – for 2, 3, 4s

CONTEMPLATIVE PRACTICES (Christian focus)

NEXT: Triad Emotions (Head)

Enneagram: Triad EMOTIONS – Intro

Enneagram-IMG004-Triadi2PREVIOUS: Ennea Triad Basics -
Part 2c

SITE: “Personality tool: Understanding the Enneagram”. Scroll down for info on each type’s way of expressing emotions

 

CORE EMOTIONAL responses of the 3 Basic Centers
An important way of using the Enneagram is to identify & properly deal with the emotional essences of each triad – which developed out of biological responses to survival threats. These responses can be seen across ALL mammalian behavior, as shown by modern Affective (emotional) neuroscience – that the same distress-emotions are triggered when the organism’s three BASIC NEEDS are not met. (MORE….)

CENTERS: Feeling / Heart (234), Thinking / Head (567) & Gut, which includes Instinctive (digestion, breathing, heartbeat) & Sensory aspects (running…). Interesting: Gut acts 30,000 times faster than Heart, itself 30,000 times faster than Head. (“The Fourth Way”)
● EVERY type is capable of experiencing ALL emotions, but each Center is driven by a main one. When things get tough, frustrating, don’t go our way… there’s an inner ‘default’ setting that triggers one of these:Screen Shot 2014-09-28 at 10.38.50 AM
234s = Grief, Shame / 567s = Fear, Anxiety / 891s = Anger, Rage
– AND each Type in that triads handles it’s primary emotion in differently:
overt, covert or neutral.
The first # “externalizes” :
2 its shame, 5 its fear, 8 its anger
The second # “represses” :
3 its shame, 6 its fear, 9 its anger
The third # “internalizes” :
4 its shame, 7 its fear, 1 its anger

Basic FEARS – Triad emotion are our automatic
‘natural’ way of responding to the world, but most people are not conscious that it’s what really fuels their daily reactions. When these emotions are cut off from our Core Self, they generate the Type’s defense mechanism, which underpin all dysfunction. While each Center has it’s preferred emotion, Riso & Hudson explained that each TYPE also has an underlying fear – OF: 
enn - Triand INFO1s – being corrupt, defective, unbalanced
2s – being unwanted, unworthy of love
3s – being worthless
4s – no identity or personal significance
5s – being helpless, incapable, useless
6s – not able to survive on their own
7s – pain and deprivation
8s – being harmed or controlled by others
9s – be lost or separated from self & others

Beatrice Chestnut, psychologist & Enneagram teacher, condensed a human child’s early needs into 3 challenges – reflected in the emotional ‘disturbances’ of the Enneagram’s 3 centers when not properly fulfilled:

A. Need to feel mirrored - when their caregiver makes direct, loving, face-to-face, eye-to-eye contact, so the young child feels ‘seen’ for who they are.
REACTION: Distress/Panic, from the loss of connection & bonding. Heart types innately pursue this need, but do it incorrectly by creating a false persona as a substitute. This makes it hard to be curious about oneself, others & life. They’re just too busy maintaining & watching what they do, so it will conform to their created IMAGES:
2s – of being thoughtful & considerate – so others will respond favorably to ‘such a selfless person’ who only thinks of others
3s – of being a confident, successful person (so others will respond with respect to such a competent, achieving individual)
4s – of being a unique person, different from everyone else (so others will at least think they are special rather than lost or deficient).

B. Need to not feel fear - so they’ll be protected from real danger, or whatever is imagined to be dangerous.
REACTION: Fear/Anxiety, when we experience the threat, challenge, or danger to our very security. Head types figure out what makes life certain & secure for themselves. Some fear is necessary & useful as long as it’s not all-pervasive & overwhelming. When it’s too great, it is very hard to be open to & curious about all the good things available to us.
It’s also imperative to separate fear that is real from what’s self-created (from Toxic Beliefs/S-H).
5s – move away from anything that scares them, retreating into a solitary, private world where they only rely on themselves
6s obsessively imagine future danger, &/OR act fearless, as a way of coping with their ever-present fear of life
7s try to avoid fear entirely with constant distractions, sticking to a positive attitude, always considering new possibilities, & planning escapes

C. Need to feel held & supported – seen in very young children who need to be securely wrapped & held, to not feel the threat of being dropped (injured or dead)
REACTION: Anger/Rage, when we experience not being able to depend on our caretakers to ‘back us up’ – neglected, violated & repeatedly deprived of what they want/need. Body Types can sense what’s wrong about their world, know what actions are needed to correct it & how to get their needs met. They want to control their experience & environment to deal with underlying anxiety.
8s try to ‘hold’ everything & everyone by taking charge
9s ‘hold’ by repetitive activities that soothe them (narcotizing)
1s ‘hold’ by being self-controlled, trying to control or structure every aspect of their life.

LAYERS of the SELF enn -LAYERS of the SELF
Outer = COMPULSIVE Self, Behavior is automatic /compulsive
Next = OBSERVING Self, Beginning awareness, ability to observe & detach from compulsions
Semi-Inner = HIGHER Self Increasing awareness & autonomy, the ability to access higher functions of the Centers
Inner/Center = ESSENTIAL Self
Unified consciousness, not trapped in or identified with any one Enneagram Center (Chart: ‘Nine Paths’ 12/26/12)
Moving from the outer circle of Stress & Security points towards our center requires consistent self-observation.

NEXT: Triad Emotions (Heart)

New BOOK Recommendation

sick-day cat

Hi Everyone,

I’d like to pass on info about an up-coming Recovery took for ACoAs – due out in March 2015:

“The KIND Self-Healing Book – Raise Yourself Up with Compassion & Curiosity’
by Amy Eden,  author of blog for ACoAs “Guess what Normal Is

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From the book:

5 Super-Kind Abilities You’ll Gain from Doing This Work

I honestly believe that each of these abilities is within your reach. These abilities can develop from practice and applying a compassionate approach to your personal growth–and from a decision to take the leading role in your own story every day:

1. The purpose driving your actions will become your wants, desires, and needs rather than your anxiety about other peoples’ needs or wants. Your own unique interests, goals, and personal fulfillment will become more central in guiding how you participate in life.

2. The discomfort you feel when asking for what you want and during confrontations will become a manageable discomfort (a low simmer rather than a high flame) and you’ll regard and appreciate the discomfort you feel as encouraging proof of having become daring and engaged in life.

3. Your self-confidence will become more consistent, less of a roller-coaster ride, and you’ll experience more and longer-lasting hopeful moments of self-appreciation, because you’ll have cultivated unconditional love for yourself and cease to expect perfection of your every breath.

4. You’ll be able to remain calm in situations involving criticism without losing your sense of self, your core, and your self-esteem; you’ll be able to hear and benefit from criticism without the old and unhelpful party-crashers of anger, fear, and defensiveness.

5. You’ll become comfortable expressing yourself and your needs in romantic relationships and willing to risk an ending rather than stay in a problematic situation; you will never again rationalize disrespect, criticism, or manipulation just to keep a situation going. And you won’t be tempted to try controlling the relationship because you’ll have moved from living in your head to living in the present moment.

You can have a life in which you grow, feel alive, happy, and feel like yourself (and like yourself) and live at ease. The tools in this book are meant to support you in your growing-up and healing process.

Follow her FB page to track the book’s progress.

Ennea TRIAD Basics (Part 2c)

891 triadI HAVE ALL I NEED
to understand my environment

PREVIOUS: Ennea Triads, Part 2b

SITE: Discover your Enneagram TriType

 

3rd Triad: INSTINCT (Gut), Body-based character structure
#8 = Leader — Energy: Larger than life, Dominating.
#9 = Mediator Energy: Diffuse extension, Comfortable
#1= Reformer Energy: Rigid containment, Righteous

At a party: If you they would go right in, engaging in hearty, jovial, back-slapping greetings that may put some people off, you’re likely in the Gut triad. Or, you might offer the host a ‘helpful’ criticism about how to improve some aspect of the party.

Flow: Gut-centered people act first – think and feel later. They are very connected to a concrete view of reality, with a very “nuts  and bolts” approach to life. Their driving sin is anger, their first reaction to unsafe people & physical circumstances.
POSITIVE: At their best, 891s are grounded, with a common sense approach to taking care of basic needs – not much thought is required for the simple tasks of life. Their motto could be: “Just do it”, being active in the physical world, & connected to nature.

Purpose: “We all use personal position and personal power to make life be the way we believe it “should be.” We devise strategies to assure our place in the world and minimize discomfort. All types depend upon the Body Center of Intelligence to be in touch with its higher qualities, including the right amount of energy needed for action, how much power to use in situations, and our capacity to be grounded in ourselves and the world.” ~ David Daniels, M.D

Physical Center: The gut, the physical link to the conscious ego & the unconscious soul. They value action, living life at full volume & maximum velocity, doing whatever it takes to best handle physical needs. They will come up with strategies to assure their place in the world, get what they want, and minimize discomfort. 891s depend upon the Body Center of Intelligence to be in touch with their higher qualities, including:
— the right amount of energy needed for action
— how much power to use in situations
— being grounded in themselves & the world.

Priority: Instinctual needs and rhythms in daily life; issues of fairness or rightness; getting practical results.

8s Function – Leadership & Self-assertionbody_enneagram
Positive potential: ability to take personal initiative, magnanimity, self-confidence, self-determination, self-reliance
Negative potential: combativeness, crude insensitivity, domination of others, ruthlessness
— They over-express their instincts, tending to dominate people & situations without pausing to think about others’ points of view

9s Function – Interpersonal Mediation & Receptivity
Positive potential: acceptance, creating harmony with others, emotional stability & physical endurance, un-self-consciousness
Negative potential: disengaged attention & emotions, neglectfulness, mental dissociation, passivity
— They are numb to their instincts, which makes it very hard to hold their own agenda as the waves of life wash over them

1s Function – Ethical Standards & Responsibility
Positive potential: conscience, delayed gratification, maturity, moderation, self-discipline
Negative potential: impersonal perfectionism, judgmentalism, rigid self-control, self-righteousness
— They internalize their instincts & check them repeatedly for validity, which makes them highly ethical but also a bit slow

Direction: 891 Types move in & against, are direct & straight forward, and can be confrontational
Key Mode: Screening and buffering (principled inattention).
Key Words: Belonging, Comfort, Congruence, Harmony, Personal power, Protection, Respect, Worth

Basic defense: A concentration of energy in the belly center enables repeating patterns to form layers of “insulation” in the mind and body. This insulation is used to “screen out” unwanted feelings or information from the inside or outside. Personal wants and needs are controlled by super-ego “shoulds
Neurotic style: Obsessive process – using repeating patterns of thinking and doing to capture and stabilize attention in daily life.

Life challenge: Struggle with being asleep to their true self. Need to “Wake up” through self-awareness instead of falling into excessive materialism (8), low-level comfort (9) or habits (1). Their childhood experience is of not being allowed their space, so there’s a deep need to carve this out for themselves in the world, with a push to distinguish between who they are vs everyone else.
8s feel the need to conquer in order to be certain of having a place for oneself, so they assert their boundaries aggressively
9s will adapt to the new environment with seeming ease, but part of them remains disengaged from it
1s hold back & compare situations to their sense of right/wrong, afraid that if they let go they’ll lose control & have their boundaries ‘penetrated’

NEGATIVE: Fearing neglect or being overlooked, they seek acceptance & be respected for who they are. They tend to act impulsively, resist being influenced by current reality, & try to impose their will on the environment without being affected by it – to prevent being controlled by anyone or anything. When they don’t have the experience of their Key Words, they react with anger/rage – the more controlled version showing up as irritation, resentment, impatience….

POSITIVE: When healthy, they relate to their environment & to others exceptionally well, with a deep wisdom from within. Struggling with staying in the moment, they can always call on their gut reactions to bring them back to the present. When truly grounded (knowing exactly who & where they are in time, space & spirit), they develop healthy personal boundaries, with a clear sense of personhood & positive connections to others.

In BIZ: They take a stand, act decisively, & take calculated yet appropriate risks. They develop alternative & solutions to problems, challenging conventional wisdom. They take ownership & demonstrate integrity.

For Inspiration: 8s use their Mental Center / 9s use their Body Center / 1s use their Heart Center (MORE….)

Therapy with HORSES: Body Types 891 are taught to modulate the energy they put out through their gut centers, & allow the process to unfold naturally.
8s need to modulate their intensity
9s need to focus, & direct their intentions with clarity
1s need to relax, & let go of their need to be competent and controlling – to simply be with the horse. Easier said than done.

MEDITATIONS for 8s, 9s & 1s (CDs or iTunes)

‘Thoughts’ about meditation (including some humor) 12/3/2012

NEXT: Triad EMOTIONS (Part 1)

Ennea TRIAD Basics (Part 2b)

triadsI NEED TO UNDERSTAND
so I can control my environment

PREVIOUS: Basic Triads, Part 2

SITE: Triad Centers – with Id, Ego, Super-ego designations

SECOND Triad: HEAD, Mental-based character structure
#5 = Observer - -Energy: ‘Invisible’ Detachment, Hoarding
#6 = Questioner Energy: Fight 6 – Jabbing Confrontation
Agreement seeking – – – –  Flight 6 – Poised-for-flight Scanning
#7 = Adventurer Energy: Airy Excitement, Re-framing

At a party: If you stand at the door, looking around to see who’s there & what’s happening, you’re likely in the Head triad. You want to have a good idea of what to expect before going in to a new situation, approaching others cautiously.

Flow: Head-centered people think first – act and feel later. They tend to view life as outsiders looking in. Their driving sin is fear, feeling separate from people and their environment
POSITIVE: They notice more than other people, but don’t realize that most can’t sees the same things they do, or don’t see things the same way! At their best they’re knowledgeable, intellectual & brilliant & visionary. (Bill Gates…). But caught up in the world of ideas, they can forget about the rest of the body (Sherlock Homes).

Purpose: “The goals of this center are to help us all minimize anxiety, manage potentially painful situations, and gain a sense of certainty and security through the mental processes of analyzing, figuring out, envisioning, imagining and planning. In addition, all of us depend upon the Head Center of Intelligence to develop the higher qualities of wisdom, inner knowing, and thoughtfulness.” ~ David Daniels, M.D

Physical center: Their main activity takes place in the Head, where they make decisions based either on logic on & mental processes. Also – they’re acutely aware of the environment, living very much in the present, & instinctively take everything in via their physical senses (touch, taste, smell is the way to their holy idea) – because it gets them out of being stuck in their mental loop

Priority: They want to create security by making sense of the world & other people – using ideas, concepts & rational thinking. Their most important quest is for Truth – for what’s real & what’s not. Their implied Q is: “What does it all mean?” as they constantly try to figure out how each pc. of info they’ve gathered fits in with everything else they’ve picked up. Controlling all the pieces by ‘understanding’ things makes them feel safe.

Direction: 567 Types initially move away or withdraw from relationship
Key Mode: Detachment & upward displacement (away from gut)
Key Words: Assurance, Certainty, Opportunity, Predictability, Safety,
Security

Basic defense: A concentration of mental energy makes it possible to detach from emotions & the body, to live in the mind. Fear of life (& death) is countered by thinking, explaining, rationalizing. Personal wants and needs are explained away or simply not felt.
Neurotic Style: Paranoid/schizoid process – distrust leads to withdrawing from contact with the world, to figure things out & gain safety

Life challenge: Integrating mind and body. For them – being ‘seen’ is a two-sided dilemma: if they get noticed, they lose their valued privacy. If they don’t get seen they get too isolated, & feel unappreciated for all their knowledge. They have trouble combining their inner world with the outer environment. Much of the time they have lots of ideas & plans that never go anywhere, which tend be forgotten or go unnoticed. In business, being rigid & dogmatic in their thinking (they’re always right!) can create resentment & conflict, but they don’t know why, since they’re just being ‘reasonable’. The primary attraction/avoidance dance is trust vs. non-trust.

5s Function – Expert Knowledge & Mental focushead_enneagram
Positive potential: acquisition of knowledge, curiosity, inventive originality, perceptiveness, technical expertise
Negative potential: eccentricity, emotional detachment, mental projections, social isolation, speculative theorizing
Over-express thinking, are mentally intense

6s Function – Perseverance & Trust
Positive potential: commitment to larger efforts, emotional bonding, group identification, industriousness, loyalty, sociability
Negative potential: ambivalence, anxiety, dependency, feelings of inferiority, rebelliousness
Out of touch with inner Guidance

7s Function – Diverse activity & Spontaneity
Positive potential: achievement, enthusiasm, desire for change & variety, productivity, skill acquisition
Negative potential: being escapist, excessive, hyperactive, impulsive
superficial
Under-express thinking, impulsive, without considering consequences of their actions

POSITIVE: When healthy, they excel at mental discrimination & analysis, effective planning & strategizing, intellectual work which contributes to the community, & have heightened individual consciousness
NEGATIVE: At the same time that they’re always hungry for ‘more’, being so acutely aware of their environment makes them feel overwhelmed by too much input, experiencing it as chaotic & therefore scary. This makes them shy away from anything in the outer world which is unpredictable & unexpected.

Re. ACTIONs: The immediate response to life’s messiness is to hold back
5s physically ‘hold back’, against the far wall or in a corner, where they can observe the whole scene without being noticed. If they happen to be seated when something or someone new approaches, they noticeably pull back into their chair.
6s ‘hold back’ by not making decisions or taking an action. Tentatively entering an unfamiliar situation, their eyes dart around looking for someone who knows what’s going on, the “expert” who’ll show them how to act.
7s ‘hold back’ in an unusual way – they run from their fear & hesitation to act by jumping into the unknown, trying to overwhelm or outmaneuver a perceived threat with charm & distraction. This buys them time to collect new info without revealing anything personal that would hint at their fear

In BIZ: 567s operate from a global perspective, looking at the big picture. The use business strategies, understanding how to create value & what needs to be done to create a better future.

For Inspiration: 5s use their Heart Center / 6s use their Body Center / 7s use their Mental Center (MORE….)

Therapy with HORSES: it’s often apparent to HEAD STYLES that they have a hard time getting into their bodies in order to get what they want. It becomes obvious that they need to bring their energy & intention into their hearts and bodies, to make a horse move forward, draw it closer or set a boundary. (MORE….)

MEDITATIONS for 5s, 6s & 7s (CDs or iTunes)

‘Thoughts’ about meditation (including some humor) 12/3/2012

NEXT: Triad basics – Part 2c

Ennea TRIAD Basics (Part 2a)

u73409471ALL OF MY ENERGY
goes to looking good to others

PREVIOUS:
 Basic Triads, Part 1

SITEs: Enneagram Books & Tapes list
Nobel books – Enneagram


FIRST Triad (234): HEART, Emotion-based character structure

#2 = Sentimentalist Energy: Aggressive Affection, Helpful
#3 = Enthusiast – – - Energy: Charismatic Producer, Successful
#4 = Romanticist – – Energy: Dramatic pull, Authentic

At a party: When you get to the door, what do you do? If you walk right in, say hello & start chatting – you might belong in the Heart triad.

Flow: Heart-centered people feel first – act and think later. They are very conscious of the community around them & how they are being received. Their driving sin is pride – constantly engaged in image management, so they’ll be well received by others.

POSITIVE 234s have flexibility & skill in relationships, achieving success by empathy – being attuned to & meeting social expectations, & sensitive to the vast potential of the human heart.

Purpose: “Every Type depends on emotional intelligence to develop the higher qualities of the Heart Center, including empathy, understanding, compassion, and loving-kindness. The HEART center energy tunes us to the mood & feeling state in others and ourselves so that we can meet the vital needs for connection, contact, and approval. We also get recognition from others, which helps us support our self-esteem and fulfill our need for love and connection.” ~ David Daniels, M.D

Physical center is the spinal column, allowing them to freely & comfortably move around the outer world, needed to accomplish all the tasks they set for themselves. Their default position is doing, their energy used to ‘feel’ what others want from them, so they can adapt themselves.

Priority: Their relationship needs are for recognition & approval, establishing personal identity through connecting & being seen. They tend to rate themselves by how others rate them – to the point of ignoring their own wishes. Their attention is so outwardly focused that it’s hard for them to access their Inner Space
CONFUSING: they are really only concerned with how they appear to themselves – being “good”- but only through the eyes of others.

Direction: 234 Types move towards others, to engage in relationship
Key Mode: Substitution of worth.
Key Words: Affection, Approval, Assurance, Bonding, Certainly, Connection, Image, Love, Opportunity, Predictability

Basic defense: Their Emotional intelligence is used to form an “image self” to get recognition & approval, which helps overcome an internal sense of deficiency or emptiness. Trying to meet the expectations of others is a substitute for personal needs & wants
Neurotic Style: ‘Hysteric’ process – unconsciously building up emotional energy & then discharging it willy-nilly into the environment

Life challenge: To balance between Self and Other, autonomy & dependence, acknowledging & expressing their authentic Inner state. They tend to resist this inward turn, using many rationalizations to ‘explain’ why they can’t or don’t have time to be introspective. Each type will have their specific excuse, based on lack of self-esteem & emotionally hooked by the past. Their two major themes are about identity: “Who am I?” & hostility : “I hate you for not loving me in the way I want!”.

Their Primary Instinct “To DO something” means they have a need to respond to other people or circumstances in order to stay connected. This is true even if they’re not feeling something themselves, or don’t actually like the person or group. P.D.Ouspensky called them ‘Natural Imitators”, sometimes generating feelings they think suitable to a given situation. They create an image for others to relate to – of like-ability (2s), success (3s) & uniqueness (4), & then become dependent on the reactions of others for their sense of value and worth

2s Functions – Empathy & Altruismheart_enneagram
Positive potential: genuine self-sacrifice, generosity, other-directedness, nurturance, thoughtfulness
Negative potential – intrusiveness, possessiveness, manipulation, self-deception.
Need to do for everyone, since ‘giving of oneself’ is seen as being good
— Express & over-express only ‘positive’ bubbly emotions, denying or repressing the rest

3s Functions – Self-Esteem & Self-development
Positive potential: ambition, personal excellence, professional competence, self-assurance, self-improvement, social self-distinction
Negative potential: arrogant narcissism, exploitation of others, hostility, pragmatic calculation
Success is greatly needed & important, especially in their profession.
— Out of touch with / suppress real emotions, so they can keep functioning & to make a ‘good’ impression on others

4s Functions –  Artistic Creativity & Self-awareness
Positive potential: individualism, intuition, sensitivity, self-expression, self-revelation
Negative potential: depression, self-absorption, self-consciousness, self-doubt, self-inhibition
Wish for recognition for their originality, & be considered special.
— Painfully self-conscious, under-reveal emotions by withholding direct expression

In BIZ: 234s are team players, communicate well with those above, below & equal to their position. They cultivate internal & external relationships, serve as role model, leading & supporting change.

For Inspiration: 2s use their Mental Center / 3s use their Heart Center / 4s use their Body Center (MORE….)

Therapy with HORSES: For HEART STYLE people, exercises done with the horses usually focus on teaching them to be aware of their own emotions, to let go of their image-based defenses, & just be with the animals. 234s are usually amazed at how much awareness & control they really do have over their own responses.

MEDITATIONS for 2s, 3s & 4s (as CDs or at iTunes)

‘Thoughts’ about meditation (including some humor) 12/3/2012

NEXT: Head Triad (2b)

Ennea TRIAD Basics (Part 1)

enn PROPORTIONSDIAGRAM - Each Type’s proportion of the triune brain, combining:
Emotions (blue)
Intellect (green)
Instinct (red)

PREVIOUS: Type Strengths, Part 4c

SITEs: Ennea Triads -
Centers of Intelligence

Distortions & Strengths of Type in the Triads

BASIC TRIADS. As mentioned in ‘Enneagram Basics – Part 3’, there are many different ways to sub-divide the Enneagram, usually in groups of 3. Others will be addressed as well, but we start with the fundamentals, always enn triadsbeginning with TYPE 2.
The Triad that our Type falls into dictates the general way we approach life’s challenges. This gets combined with our specific VICE (character weakness) to form our Driving Need. These create all our traits & desires, fueling an automatic way of responding in the world, often cleverly disguised as defense mechanisms (Enn. Defects, Part 3 & 4).

NOTE: Main approaches to categorizing the triosEnn  TRIAD components
a. From Helen Palmer - the most popular approach :
234=Heart-based, Emotion / 567=Head-based, Reason / 891=Gut-based, Instinct

b. From Don Riso: Feeling / Doing / Relating to the environment

c. From Dick Wright, PhD, who believes his approach is truer to Gurdjieff’s original teachings: 234 = Doers, 567 = Perceivers, 891 = Feelers/ Sensers*.

● Each grouping is named by the function they do best, & what’s most important to each type in the sub group: (see below). The Primary style is what is most Instinctual, the 2nd is an Auxiliary & the 3rd is Buried.
*In this case Feeling or SENSING refers to basic, primitive instincts which come from deep inside & can’t be faked (891s). It does not mean Emotion or Sentiment – like the ‘show’ of 234s, which is more surface – a reaction to external ideas & events – picked up from others.

DOERS Triad (HEART #s 234) – They Motivate
Unconscious Types that deal with life experiences. Focus: emotive center
POSITIVE purpose : To achieve healthy, perfect union with others, the universe & with Spirit, to understand the stages of human development that create maturity and wholeness.
NEGATIVE use : To manipulate one’s own and others’ way of feeling, including the emotional climate within relationships.

PERCEIVERS Triad (HEAD #s 567) – They Communicate
Conscious Types that define & justify emotions. Focus: theoretical center
POSITIVE Purpose: To develop creative vision & open us up to the real meaning of life; to be fully conscious of the true nature of self and others.
NEGATIVE Use: To think, plot & make intellectual decisions limited by our narrowly defined universe.

SENSERS Triad (GUT / Body #s 891) – They Translate
Subconscious Types that deal with sensations. Focus: effective center
POSITIVE Purpose: To energize & motivate us to actively live as we were intended, according to our true purpose and vision; to actively create and complete the work we are meant to do.
NEGATIVE Use: To protect and preserve our physical body and fulfill our basic needs, no matter the cost to others.

enn TRIAD expressions
NEXT: Triads (Part 2a)

Enneagram – Type STRENGTHS (Part 4c)

jad0055
EACH OF US

has our own path

PREVIOUS: Type Strengths  (Part 4b)

REMINDER – Use ‘Blue’ chart in Part 4a as reference for all below


HOLY IDEAS & VIRTUES / STRENGTHS (c
ont.)
#6 VIRTUE: Courage is available when negative projections are seen as Toxic Beliefs of the mind, rather than reality. Reaction against or away from fear becomes irrelevant when we see the fear is self-created

LOYALISTS are attentive to people & problems, committed, courageous, loyal, reliable, strategic thinkers, w/ shared values, solidity
— They really want to make the world a safer, more secure, reliable, trustworthy place to live in.
— They value/are attracted to Loyalty, & stand by their commitments

Holy FAITH provides the experience of the actual support from Presence &enn - holy-ideas 6 Being that exists right now – which is beyond the obvious. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. This Ideas infuses me with trust & the courage to respond spontaneously to what ever happens in the moment, not bound by belief, habit or doubt.

HIGHER MIND: Faith – 6s, are in the habit of doubting everything, so they can easily erase signs of success by equally ‘believable’ thoughts used to argue away positive experiences. It takes a leap of faith for 6s to keep their attention focused on genuinely positive experiences, continue their Recovery & spiritual practices, pursue projects that encourage them……
✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥

#7 VIRTUE: Sobriety, ie. having a Clear Head, which comes from understanding that fulfillment ultimately develops from within & nowhere else. We learn that a more meaningful & deeper experience of life is missed when it’s sampled superficially

EPICURES are adventurous, appreciative, focus talents well, fun loving, quick thinking, satisfied. Like adventure, excitement, variety
— They really want to enjoy life & experience all its possibilities, envision making the world a more delightful place to live in
— They value /are attracted to Joy & newness

Holy PLANNING / Wisdom tells us that we are part of a Greater Plan, soenn - holy-ideas 7 we don’t have to anticipate or figure out where we’re going & are willing to take the negative with the positive. I know that in this moment I’m having the optimal experience I’m supposed to, & the pleasure is in the journey itself.

HIGHER MIND: Work implies a complete commitment to a single course of action, rather than flitting from project to project because they don’t want to miss out on something good. Setting appropriate boundaries for themselves & sticking to a good plan – even if criticized – allows them to accomplish a great deal.
✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥

#8 VIRTUE: Magnanimity – the wise & balanced use of their power, knowing there’s a right and wrong time for aggression. “Liberty consists in wholesome restraint.” ~ Daniel Webster.
Mercy – not needing vengeance on or blame of – others or self – for losing the connection to the Whole (“If only I had been stronger….”)
Innocence (simplicity) from being able to feel subtle sensations & emotions, rather than go for excesses & intense experience.

BOSSES (ex-Bullies) are dependable, enthusiastic, generous, heroic, inspiring, loyalty, powerful, self-mastering, strong, improve others’ lives
— They really want to live life fully, freely – using their strength to influence others & help create a more just world where power and resources are equitably distributed
— They’re attracted to, appreciate & can effectively handle power

Holy TRUTH /Innocence is the understanding that “all is one”, that GodEnn - holy-ideas 8 is everywhere & omni- present. I can overcome my limited & biased perspective (trying to balance the scales of justice according to a personal sense of fairness) & recognize that all differences at all levels of existence are part of one unfathomable reality that is Truth – so I don’t have to push & control.

HIGHER MIND: Truth – In mature 8s the neurotic need to create conflict as a way to discover buried truth is a habit of the past. No longer threatened by the possibility of being unfairly controlled by others, 8s connect with a rare capacity to recognize each individual’s real needs, wishes & truth.
✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥

#9 VIRTUE: Action / Participation frees up energy to pursue our goals and desires, formerly used to shut out anything felt to be disturbing. Right Action is the willingness to engage in life & stay engaged, no matter what happens, eliminating laziness or inertia which depends on using others to give us direction.

PEACEMAKERS are accepting, all-embracing, balanced, comfort-oriented, harmonizing, indomitable, peaceful, stable, heal conflicts
— They really want to feel ‘at one’ & at home – to make the world a more harmonious, ecumenical, comfortable place to live in
— They value /are attracted to Harmony, peace, unity

Holy LOVE (unconditional) holds that every being in the universe has enn - holy-ideas 9value & significance, both the world around us & our Self, which releases us from the trap of self-abasement. It has the dynamic effect of energizing the virtue of action, while cultivating compassion, nobility & unshakable inner peace.

HIGHER MIND: Love/Charity – in its higher form, love has less to do with an emotional response than 9s with being able to focus their attention on a point inside themselves, from which the loved-one can be connected with. This prevents trying to merge with others as the reason for existence – which is not Love. The goal is to be able to sense the condition of others while still being aware of the Self.

SOURCES
Virtues / Strengths / Core Values   / Holy Ideas

NEXT:

Enneagram – Type STRENGTHS (Part 4b)

virtues - 2 EACH OF US
has our own talent

PREVIOUS: Type Virtues & Holy Ideas (Part 4a)

SITE: “How Each Types Sees Their Every-day Life” (page 21-22)

REMINDER – use Blue-&-White chart in part 4a as reference (by P.Ferrieux)

HOLY IDEAS & VIRTUES / STRENGTHS – Cont.
#2 Virtue: Humility overrides Pride as we come to truly see & accept that we’re not indispensable, & that everyone is equally important & needed
HELPERS are affectionate, altruistic, caring, communicators, emotionally connected, familiar, popular, unselfish, warm
— They really want to be loving, to nurture others & encourage relationships & making the world a more loving place to live in
— They value / are attracted to Love

Holy WILL : I acknowledge that there is only One Will, with a Purpose beyond the enn - holy-ideas 2self-centered motive of feeling important to & being needed by others. I am aware that Reality flows with a certain force, & the easiest way to ‘live well’ is to move with it. Freedom is the feeling of openness when I experience the unfolding of Divine Will.

HIGHER MIND: Freedom comes when 2s are able to recognizing their own needs, by not compulsively helping others & regularly paying attention to themselves. Withdrawing their focus on others interrupts a negative habit 2s usually depend on for emotional security. This frees them to provide self-care.
✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥

#3 VIRTUE: Truthfulness/Integrity comes easily when our True Self is accepted. Packaging & selling of ourselves becomes unnecessary when we have no reason for a deceitful appearance (False Self).

ACHIEVERS are admirable, attractive, authentic, competent, energetic, high achievers, inspirational, self-accepting, successful
— They really want to make the world a cosmos – a more efficient, organized, productive, smooth running harmonious & orderly system
— They value/are attracted to Competence, industry, productivity

Holy HARMONY corrects the false perception that the ego is the source of doing &enn - holy-ideas 3 functioning. It means the universe as a whole already functions in efficient harmony & I doesn’t need to compete with that in order to prove myself. I fully realize & surrender to the knowledge that I am not separate doer, & that all experience is part of the great Reality.

HIGHER MIND: Hope – anxiety drops away when 3s truly believe that each stage of work leads to a correct conclusion. Then they feel alive in the middle of activity, & become skilled at sensing energy requirements of different jobs. Healthy 3s say it’s like floating on a wave of inexhaustible energy
✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥

#4 VIRTUE: Equanimity comes when we see our positives & negatives equally. The half-truth of envy loses its validity when we stop comparing the positives of others with what we think we don’t have.

INDIVIDUALISTS are accepting, communicators, compassionate, creative, emotionally honest & deep, idealistic, inspired, good listeners
— They aspire to be special – really wanting to be unique & to put their personal touch on everything they’re involved in, to make the world more beautiful
— They value/are attracted to originality & beauty.

Holy ORIGIN tells us that ‘being’ is the source & origin of our true identity. I seeenn - holy-ideas 4 that I am not separate from everything, that all parts of the universe express the Great creative intelligence. Since I am an aspect of that creative flow I cannot be otherwise. My life will unfold in unique ways, & finding my authentic self comes by being ‘in the flow’.

HIGHER MIND: Originality – 4s want to be unique so they resist being re-shaped into an ‘ordinary’ happy person. Actually, their attitude is not ‘just in their head’ but a legitimate need, and their tenacious resistance to conforming remind the rest of us to connect to our own higher awareness
✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥ ✥

#5 VIRTUE: Detachment from vulnerability & over-protection comes when we no longer feel in danger of being overwhelmed by emotions, & learn that the world is better understood by participating in it. Greed for alone-time makes us less prepared to live in the world, not more.

INTELLECTUALS are intense, involved, non-intrusive, perceptive, scholarly, self-reliant, visionary pioneers, have wonder
— They really want to make the world a more enlightened place by discovering what is real & true, & making it more understandable.
— They value/are attracted to Knowledge, truth, understanding, wisdom

Holy OMNISCIENCE is the direct knowing of Essence, which includes all that enn - holy-ideas 5exists in its various manifestations, yet does not negate Unity. When I abide in my True Nature I know the Great Intelligence, & my minds is clear – I see that feeling safe in the world comes from participation & experience, rather than watching from the sidelines in the hope of understanding it before jumping in.

HIGHER MIND: All-Knowing becomes available when in a non-thinking state of mind – which is the opposite of trying to find out every tiny aspect of a given subject. Rather – it’s being able to engage the Inner Observer that allows its own awareness to merge with impressions of the past, present & future possibilities & events.

NEXT: Type VIRTUES (Part 4c)

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