I CAN NOTICE WHAT SUITS ME
without being judgmental
Previous: Positive Character – Social IQ
SITE: “Brave New Kitty” blog – re FoO, Recovery….
a. Indicate the worth of a task or situation by being alert, interested, observant & giving it undivided concentration
b. Recognize the value of others by giving them listening ears, respect, courtesy & focus – not just our own needs & wants. Pay attention to what’s really important to ourselves, and others, by noticing details
c. The trait of being cautious – being appropriately alert to possible danger (not paranoia), for ourselves & our loved ones
d. Staying in the ‘now’, listening to the ‘still small voice’ in ourselves & H.P.
• look at people when they speak to us • sit or stand upright • ask questions if we don’t understand • don’t distract from a situation by shifting the attention to ourselves • don’t drift off
CREATIVITY (originality, ingenuity)
Approach a need, task or idea from a new perspective. Create something new (a product, a solution, a work of art, a novel, a joke…) that has some kind of value. Love for putting disparate things together (that at first don’t seem to fit) but later the connections are obvious. Always being curious about the physical world & relationships, and about the inner world of ideas & emotions. Being playful, childlike & full of wonder, not rushing to solve a problem, taking time to imagine & dream. Not being run of the mill, not afraid to be different or have to play by the rules.
• have novel solutions to tricky problems • always look for alternative ways of doing things • the mind constantly challenging the status quo • look for a better way to live • see things from more than one perspective • use sound principles to solve puzzles • use ones talents for good
CURIOSITY (novelty–seeking, openness to experience)
A drive to know new things, finding many subjects & topics fascinating, always exploring & discovering. Having wonder & admiration for a wide range of info. Able to access the Healthy Inner Child, who has wonder & admiration for a wide range of info. Curiosity helps to shed light on personal issues & troubles by motivating us to uncover big truths & subtle nuances of our inner & outer life. It makes us want to discover things for ourselves, not just take someone’s word for it. It is helped by self-control, perseverance & emotional security
• ask more questions and trust fewer assumptions • only stop asking Qs when we’ve gotten the info we need or want • tolerate difficulties or injuries from trying out something new • be open to new possibilities
DISCERNMENT / JUDGMENT (objective thinking, NOT judgmental)
See the deeper reasons behind situations & events. Think shrewdly, sift through conflicting or confusing facts, & choose the best alternative.
Examine things from all sides and not jump to conclusions. Be able to change one’s mind in light of new & appropriate evidence, weighing all info fairly. Form the best opinion of a person or situation.
Question things that don’t make sense, ask for the source of info & explore it in more depth. Grasp & understand what is obscure. NOT be critical (discernment is noticing things, while critical is being unkind). Moral wisdom includes the ability:
– to evaluate a situation or person (putting a value on something) by observing communications, attitudes & repeated patterns
– to judge – choose the healthiest option available; reach an appropriate decision about what to do or not do, given the desire for a good outcome.
• ask questions • don’t judge hastily • learn from experience • don’t repeat mistakes • trace problems to their causes • know what is helpful vs. harmful • consider possible outcomes • search for value
LOVE of LEARNING
“Learning is not attained by chance. It must be sought with ardor and attended with diligence” Abigail Adams. Main components to help achieve goals that are important to us: be internally motivated, persist in spite of challenges & have a growth mindset. Love of L. is related to curiosity but goes beyond it as the desire to add systematically to what one knows & taking joy in the intrinsic value of the process. It includes the effort to master new skills, topics & bodies of knowledge, whether on one’s own or formally. It’s wanting to make sense of things, find out how things work, gain competence & control over self & the environment. Being open, perceptive & experimental.
• not afraid to admit ignorance • open to all types of information • want to know how the world works • willing to go the extra mile to gather all the facts possible • are excited by new ways of understanding
Willing to listen attentively to other points of view in order to understand and respect them. The ability to hold two contradictory thoughts at the same time, while others are taking sides. When presented with a new or radical idea, consider it a possibility instead of looking for points to disagree with or immediately rejecting it.
When appropriate, embrace ideas that can help our self-growth & raise self-esteem, which decreases our need to always be right & helps to neutralize the desire for power. Also, by welcoming the ideas of others, we increase their confidence.
• be able to see all sides of an issue • accept the goodwill of others (not being cynical) • listen without pre-judgement • willing to follow where evidence leads
The ability to understand how things are interrelated or can be compared (relationship of parts of a topic or situation to each other and to the whole). Seeing things from different points of view or re-framing a problem, with or without effort. It helps judge distances (like between despair & gratitude) & make comparisons which can help to manage emotional responses to allow for optimism. It helps to NOT viewing a situation or a person using a lens from our past. Perspective allows us to have an understanding of what’s happening in the moment, see clearly the answer in any situation & the correct next step toward our vision of success.
• step back from a difficult situation to see the bigger picture • keep the important things in mind • not getting caught up in the details (forest vs trees) • taking the long view • bring our attention completely into the moment • step back and remove yourself from a problem
The ability to quickly, often cleverly, find ways to overcome difficulties & problems, to make things happen when the chips are down & the situation looks bleak. A clever use of resources – people, info, time, money, physical environment – to their fullest potential to achieve our goals.
Never focus on limitations or obstacles. Live in the now, with an eye on the future. Resourcefulness is different from creativity: it is needed when one is already facing a difficult situation that must be resolved – now – while creativity allows for time to ponder, dream & process. While we can not anticipate many things, the more we’re prepare ahead of time, the more resources we’ll have to draw upon when faced with a problem.
• see value in a wide variety of objects, ideas, and people • able to out-think an opponent • make wise use of our time, talents, energy & mind • find practical uses for things others would overlook or discard
NEXT: Positive Character – ‘Personality’