Acronyms
pgs. = http://www.acoarecovery.com – Then click on SITE MAP
ACoAs = adult-children of alcoholics & other abusers
A / Ab = Abandonment
(A) = Adult
As = Actions
A/A = Abuse & Abandonment
AC = Adapted Child
AEC = Adult Ego State
B = Boundaries
B.P. = Bad Parent (same as IT)
(C) = Child
Cs = Controllers
C.A. = Covert Abuse
CDs = Cognitive Distortions
CES = Child’s Ego State
CoAs = Children of alcoholics
CLs = Compulsive Liars
C-R = Cognitive Restructuring
D.M. = Decision Making
Es = Emotions
E.A. = Emotional abuse
EM = Emotional Maturity
EOC = Emotional over-control
E.S. = Ego States
F-D = Field-Dependent
F-I = Field-Independent
FoA = Fear of abandonment
FoC = Fear of commitment
FoO = Family of Origin
FoV = Fear of Visibility
F.S. = False Self
G.P. = Good Parent
H.A. = Healthy Adult
H.A.L.T. = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (don’t get too…)
H.H. = Healthy Helping
H.P. = Higher Power (God)
I.C. = Inner Child
I.S. = Inner Sadist
IT = the Introject (BP)
KtFoY = “Keep the focus on yourself”
L = Loneliness
L.P. = Loving Parent
M-R = Mind-Reading
Ns = Narcissists
NT = Negative Thinking
N.B. = Negative Benefit(s)
N.C. = Natural Child
NoP = Normative Parent
NuP = Nurturing Parent
NLP = Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Os = Obsessions
O-C = Over-control(ling) (ed)
ODAT = One day at a time
O-F = Over-feeler
O-G = Over-generalization
OT = Over-Trusting
(P) = Parent(s)
Ps = Perpetrators
P-A = Passive-Aggressive
PES = Parent Ego State
PLs = Pathological Liars
P.M.E.S. = Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual
PP = Pig Parent, same as IT
R.A. = Romantic Attraction
S-C = Self-control
S-E / S-W = Self-esteem / worth
S-H = Self-Hate
S & I = Separation & Individuation
T.E.A. = Thoughts, Emotions, Actions
TFRs = Toxic Family Roles
TMI = Too much information
Ts = Thoughts, beliefs, opinions
T.S. = True Self
3 As = Awareness, Acceptance, Action
3 Cs = Didn’t Cause, Can’t control, Can’t cure
U-F = Under-feeler
UT = Under-Trusting
UNIT = Loving Parent + Healthy Adult
V. = Victim
W.I.C. = Wounded Inner Child
Jul 07, 2011 @ 05:36:40
Thank you for creating this website with clear and helpful information. It’s taken me years to realize that who am I has largely been a function of roles I took on from unhealthy family dynamics. I see in myself both the Hero and the Placater, and I can clearly see my siblings in the Scapegoat and Lost Child Roles. Our ways of being and interacting have so greatly frustrated me, and after reading your blogs I now have great clarity in how we came to be the way we are. It takes a lot of the blame and pressure off of me internally, because I have always wondered as the oldest child if I couldn’t have done something to prevent my siblings from being the “way they were lol. You have my gratitude for your generosity in sharing this information so freely and in such an accessible format.
Jul 07, 2011 @ 13:47:19
I’m glad to be of help. Have you found A-Anon? If you can’t go in person, try phone or internet meetings. Going to those meetings every day, 35 yrs ago, saved my life!
Nov 30, 2011 @ 09:23:40
Hi. I just found this website, and I am so glad you developed it. I’m looking forward to reading as many of the posts as I can, in the hopes of receiving my own healing. I am an ACoA “by proxy”. The father of the woman whom I shall refer to as my “legal guardian” was an alcoholic who wrought a great deal of havoc upon his wife and children. My “legal guardian” was so profoundly scarred by the negative experiences of her childhood that she gradually became mentally disturbed. (Of course we always put on what I refer to as the “Leave It To Beaver” Syndrome whenever company came over, or we were out in public.) And even though she was a “teetotaler”, her behaviour was textbook characteristic of an alcoholic personality. When I read Dr. Janet Woititz’s book, ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS, it totally blew me away, because it was as if Dr. Jan had documented my own childhood experiences, and also because I pegged all 14 points (except for #8) on the Laundry List!!
Sadly, I must admit that in my own brokenness, I too have dished out a lot of bad karma. Hurt people hurt people. The cycle has got to end.
Nov 30, 2011 @ 13:38:16
Welcome. Glad you are on the journey to recovery.