Comments for HEAL & GROW for ACoAs

Comment on SCAPEGOAT Family Role by dmtorbi

dmtorbi — Sun, 19 May 2013 13:51:54 +0000

Thank you for reading. The Scapegoat (as opposed to being scapegoated) acts like the bad / ‘troubled’ child – carrying the sins of the family. Sometimes behind the compulsion to “f–up” is the need to be perfect in order to be worthy of love. As we give up perfectionism (which is an expression of Self-hate) we no longer have to be bad – which we unconsciously use as a stress release from the pressure of needing to be inhumanly good!

Comment on SCAPEGOAT Family Role by Diane

Diane — Sat, 18 May 2013 17:08:56 +0000

At 43 years old I realized my family was an alcoholic family and I am the scapegoat! Ten years later I am still reeling from the pain and depression of it all. I read this site and go ohhhh and I get it. I am the third child of 6 , Brother, Sister then me and this describes my family too a tee.

Comment on Donna by dmtorbi

dmtorbi — Sun, 12 May 2013 17:12:54 +0000

Thank you for reading this blog. I believe you can start the healing process even where you are.

- Keep on reading & take notes – how does each post apply to you?
- If possible order & read some books about narcissist & about ACoAs.
- Go to Al-anon meetings – if you can’t go in person, participate in the phone meetings, at least once a day, if not more – until you feel strong enough to change something.
- Find a way to get on anti-depressants, if you are not already.
- Call your local hospital & get into a program or group therapy.
- Search the internet for other support systems, even MeetUp.com, a social network organization you can go to social groups to change the way you think.
- Start by getting rid of the cigarettes – the health dept. will send you anti-smoking patches.
- Change your diet – no sugar or carbs. Your brain chemistry is flooded with toxins.

I know you can do something to better your situation!
I wish you well & pray you free yourself.

Comment on Donna by outfromunder

outfromunder — Sun, 12 May 2013 13:27:32 +0000

Thank you for this invaluable
Information. I’ve read your website for a while now, ever since I came out of denial slowly with Gods safety.
I have a question and wonder if you would answer it.
I am almost 50 and absolutely exhausted. Can’t sleep at night, smoking cigarettes, and completely hated by and isolated.
I am forced (nit even hiddenly anymore) do, be, and say what my father wants me to – for a place to live and enough money for food.
He is a very well-respected man in the community and I am the Bad One.
I have tried to get out from under but can’t sue to my exhaustion which keeps me from working. I’ve been stuck for years and am dying. My body’s falling apart.
I can’t find a place to live. All that is available is a city shelter, not the last safe place.
Should I just bite the bullet and leave this all behind and go?
Will I have a chance of healing then?
Can I heal and sleep and therefore work – while still under his control and living I a nice place if I ask God for enough help?
Thank you

Comment on EGO STATES – Basics (Part 1) by I know you know I know… | Comfortably Numb

I know you know I know… | Comfortably Numb — Fri, 03 May 2013 20:14:51 +0000

[...] EGO STATES – Basics (Part 1) (acoarecovery.wordpress.com) [...]

Comment on Ego States – ADULT (Part 3) by dmtorbi

dmtorbi — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:58:37 +0000

Thanks. Just about every post (starting in 2010) has something in it to strengthen the Adult!

Comment on Ego States – ADULT (Part 3) by otto84

otto84 — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 20:09:37 +0000

Wow great post but what about strengthening adult mode

Comment on Ego States – ADULT (Part 2) by dmtorbi

dmtorbi — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 02:36:55 +0000

Thanks. Doing well.

Comment on Ego States – ADULT (Part 2) by dbarnabazz@gmail.com

dbarnabazz@gmail.com — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:59:35 +0000

Thanks Donna! This came at an opportune time.

Hope you are well Dan Horton

Sent from my iPhone

Comment on SCAPEGOAT Family Role by dmtorbi

dmtorbi — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 17:32:18 +0000

Hi Jaleo, I agree with your points. Any extreme is harmful to us if it’s the only way we function. We do what we can to survive & then work on coming to a balance. Thanx for reading.