Positive Character: ‘PERSONALITY’

THE BETTER MY SELF-ESTEEM
the better my relationships

Previous: Positive Character – Knowledge

REMINDER: See ACRONYM Page for abbrev.

ENTHUSIASM /HUMOR
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm,” Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Having enthusiasm about performing all types of jobs (large or small) generates a lot of energy, & make us far more likely to succeed. When we believe in what we’re doing, we’re excited & look forward to achieving a goal. It’s maintaining a good attitude, even when faced with unpleasant conditions, & expressing joy in each task as we give it our best effort. We can help people smile &  feel relaxed by seeing the lighter side of things. Humor can help us cope better with pain, enhance our immune system, reduce stress. Laughter is an essential component of a healthy, happy life.
EXP:
• be an energy-giver to others  • treat every job as important  • see the foolishness of human self-importance  • take some time every day to laugh, be playful  • not stay in a state of discouragement

HONESTY / INTEGRITY
“Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts.” To act according to the values, beliefs and principles we claim to hold (internally consistent, opposite of hypocrisy) – being the same way alone as we are when in the presence of others. To always speak the truth, & more broadly – present oneself in a genuine way, without pretense. Be truthful & accurate in our actions, not hiding something in order to ‘get over’.  Take responsibility for our feelings and actions. Being honest eliminates guilt & shame, while increasing our self-confidence & sense of inner peace. Only do or say things we believe in our heart
Also – To gain or obtain something fairly. Be honorable in intentions & actions, & therefore be trustworthy. Being considerate comes from respecting oneself & others
EXP:
• able to own up to making a mistake • returning items that don’t belong to us • not being manipulative  • be fair in our dealing with others • being true to our deepest self  • be able to tolerate disagreements  • don’t exaggerate to make ourselves or things seem bigger or better than they are

HUMILITY/ MODESTY (unpretentious)
Modesty is an expression of self-confidence that allows for a balanced & fair assessment of our abilities & character. It encourages collaboration, since modest people have nothing to gain from bragging & nothing to lose by being vulnerable. 
It’s letting one’s accomplishments speak for themselves – being free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions (not having to show off).
Having an inflated self-concept is actually a hindrance to achievement because it ignores the possibility of self-improvement, sacrifice & hard work. Humility does NOT mean being self-deprecating or hiding ones talents. But it’s a necessary control on the natural human tendency to think of ourselves more highly than is good either for ourselves or our community. It means not always having to be right or prove our point.
EXP:
• respect ourselves & others  • appreciate how others have helped us  • be thankful  • don’t need to out-do others by making ourselves look better or smarter • value what we have & all the good around us  • listen at least as much as we speak  • it’s being ‘grounded’ (humus = earth – Latin)

PATIENCE
“Accepting a difficult situation without giving a deadline to remove it.”
The ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. Is helps to persevere in the face of difficulties – able to stand being provoked, annoyances, misfortune or pain, without endless complaining, irritation, raging or blaming others.
Patience implies having the qualities of calmness, stability & persistent courage in hard times – the character trait of being steadfast.  In terms of decision-making, it’s choosing to wait for a more valuable reward in the long-term, over a quick but smaller one in the short-term. Being able to wait – with realistic hope – for process to run its course towards a realistic goal. Knowing we’ll get our needs met, even in the face of a postponement
EXP:
• waiting our turn  • believing in positive outcomes  • change the things we can & accept the things we can’t  •  don’t interrupt • keep trying until we succeed • don’t complain when we don’t get our way

SECURITY / SELF-ESTEEM (self-awareness, self-respect)
Structure our lives around something that can’t be taken away or destroyed. The sense of inner emotional stability based on the knowledge that we are lovable & loved (but not always by our FoO). Security is also the certainty that everything is OK and that all our basic needs will be met.  Abraham Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ lists Security as a basic one at level 3. If we don’t feel secure, we can’t move onto higher levels like love and self-actualization. Feeling security allows us to take in love, & unconditional love creates self-esteem.  Review POST: “Self-Esteem – What it is”
EXP:
• have peace of mind from a clear conscience, not just personal comfort  • don’t worry or be anxious  •  look to appropriate authorities for protection  • correct unsafe conditions  • don’t meddle in the concerns of others • believe in ourselves • know our own worth • be comfortable with our uniqueness

SELF-DISCIPLINE
“Rejecting wrong desires and doing what is right.” … freeing ourselves from the tyranny of our base desires….. regulating what we feel & do, being disciplined, controlling appetites & emotions.  The ability to deny ourselves something we want because of a higher purpose or objective (not cheating in order to not suffer guilt, shame, punishment….). Self discipline is an expression of our motivation & is highly correlated with being honest. It helps us be successful at reaching personal goals by taking advantage of opportunities & promoting self-esteem. It is not endless, but can be replenished by sleep, self-affirmation exercises, positive emotional experiences & healthy support. It’s like a muscle – a skill that can be exercised and improved.
EXP:
• remove temptations (people, places & things) • don’t act impulsively  • don’t equate desires with rights  • set our own limits  • see anger as a sign that something is off in ourselves •  walk away from things that aren’t right

THRIFTINESS
While mainly thought of regarding money, it is generally being prudent (economical) in the management of all consumable resources, which can lead to increasing material benefits. Making use of every part of something to avoid being wasteful.
Only spend what’s necessary – most of the time, & save for a splurge once in a while. It does NOT mean being anorexic or deprivational. It is staying within our means, not overindulging on a regular basis. Keep track of spending, make a reasonable budget & follow it. Also – being careful of other people’s well-being & goods. Consider the long run – the benefits of being careful to self, family, community & the planet.
EXP:
• save more and spend less • make good use of what we already have • look for the best value  •  wisely use money, time & energy • don’t confuse needs with wants

NEXT: Positive Character – WORK

Positive Character: HUMANITY

 

BEING RESPECTFUL & RESPONSIBLE
makes me a better world citizen

Previous: Character traits & contrasts
SEE: Expanded list of Traits to choose from

APPRECIATION of beauty and excellence (awe, wonder, elevation):
The ability to admire the masterful design of a person, place or thing, especially if has many levels to it, each layer with a distinct flavor & secret. Noticing & valuing high quality & skilled performances in all areas of life – in nature, the arts, the sciences & everyday experience.
EXP:
• pause often to take in a view, look at the sky • watch people & animals in motion • be awed by the vastness of nature and the intimate details of life • enjoy good craftsmanship  • understand & appreciate what goes into making artistic things, in any form

CITIZENSHIP (social responsibility, loyalty, teamwork):
GENERAL: be an active part of a political community, enjoying its rights & assuming duties of membership, which form a distinct sense of identity
SPECIFIC: work well as part of a group or team, are loyal to the unit, do our share, taking responsibility for our actions
EXP:
• respect and value diversity  • are troubled by social injustice
• aware of the wider world, with a sense of our role as world citizens
• willing to act to make the world a more equitable & sustainable place

GENEROSITY (liberal in giving)
Carefully managing our resources so we can freely give to those in need.
NARROW: willing to give money, time, energy, info….to help others, or in order to give them pleasure, AND to give more than is expected
BROADER: being sympathetic in the way we deal with people. Tending to see the good qualities of someone or something
EXP:
• share what we have with others • give of our time and talents  • recycle
• not expect anything in return for our generosity  •  praise the good we see in others

GRATEFULNESS  (is NOT like being indebted)
Letting others know by words and actions how they have improved our life.   An appropriate sense & valuing of the benefits we have received, at birth, from family, from our environment.  Acknowledging someone for a favor they have done us. Also, desire to repay advantages we were given.  Focusing on the positives in our life
EXP:
• show helpful people that we appreciate them  • write “thank you” notes
• take care of our things  • be content with what we have  •  count our benefits / blessings, rather than our burdens

FAIRNESS
Treating all people the same, according to universal ideals of equality and justice (the same way we want to be treated). Making mental judgements or decisions that do not favor or discriminate against others because of incorrect or inappropriate considerations. To act consistent with rules, logic, ethics, or in a proper legal manner.  Not let personal feelings bias our decisions about others.  Give everyone a fair chance & not take advantage
EXP:
• willing to give up our share of something for someone who has a lot less   • see everyone as having equal rights  • playing fair  • think about how our actions will affect others

KINDNESS / COMPASSION (amiable, nurturing, gentle)
Showing consideration, personal concern or deep sympathy for others.  The ability to make other people feel comfortable by our attitude of calmness.  Sometimes putting our own need for attention & self-esteem second to the needs of others. Sincere sorrow for others stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering
EXP:
• listen when others want to talk • look for lasting solutions  • show good manners • comfort others without regard to race, gender, faith, age, or nationality • not annoy or irritate people   • doing a good deed for strangers

INTEGRITY (giving our very best)
Uprightness of character, probity, honesty, soundness, and the state of being complete or undivided.  Integrity is an attitude of – being loyal, faithful, dependable, and dedicated. Conducting ourselves responsibly – to the rules & laws of our community & spiritual beliefs
EXP:
• willing to tell the truth even if it costs us our money, friends, even our reputation •  doing the ‘right’ thing all the time, even when no one is watching us  • being dependable & trustworthy

JUSTICE (rectitude, equity, uprightness)
Taking personal responsibility to uphold what is pure, right and true.
Conforming to the principles of human or divine law, strict performance of moral obligations, integrity in dealing with people, fairly representing facts as to their value or demerit
EXP:
• respect for the authority of law • keep our own conscience clean
• never prejudice others  • always remain open to reason • speak out for what is pure, right and true  •  render to everyone their due or right

LOVE (well-wishing, kindness, self-sacrifice)
The emotion of strong affection & attachment. The unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. Can be passionate desire, closeness & intimacy, platonic or devotional
EXP:
• seeing people for who they really are, & still caring deeply  •  feeling a deep appreciation for everyone we meet because each is unique and special • putting a special someone’s needs before ours

SERVICE (giving what we receive)
Yielding personal rights & expectations, with a desire to serve. Not just providing goods & services for pay or performing ones duties. Also helping others to get what they want – actions that don’t involve a return, compensation, or consideration. Unsolicited help or benefit to someone in need, or doing someone a favor. Also, active devotion to God, through good works or prayer.
EXP:
• look for ways to help others without being asked • be slow to react •  not boastful  • not grumble or complain  • be willing to go last  • honor ones country • be humble, but not humiliated!

NEXT: Positive C – Social IQ