ACoAs: Getting to our EMOTIONS – Over (Part 2)


confidence I CAN HAVE ALL MY EMOTIONS

and still be in charge of myself!

PREVIOUS: Getting to Emotions – OVER (#1)

SITE: The Emotional Sensitive Person

BOOK: Emotional Confidence ~ Gael Lindenfield

The Recovery tools & techniques suggested in Part 1 apply to both types  (as below), but the purpose is slightly different:
for Under-Feelers – use them to break thru the layers of repression so we can be more sensitive to ourselves & others
for Over-Feelers – use them to shed enough of the accumulated old pain held in the body so we don’t keep overwhelming ourselves & others

IMP: If you think you’re over-sensitive (O-F) AND see it as a character defect – brainwashed to believe that by dysfunctional parents – because everything seems to bother you, consider this: Screen Shot 2015-07-11 at 4.14.10 AM
You were born with an active limbic system (brain-seat of emotions). This is very much like some who has pale skin which is hyper-sensitive to sun. If they’re out in the sun too long – without protection – they’ll get burned. This is the same as being burned by years of emotional abuse & neglect as a child – without the protection of an adult brain, and without safe adults to protect you!

Heal & Grow “WORK” for OVER-FEELERS (O-F)
GOAL – TO:
• gradually get the piled-up pain out of our body so we’re not flooded all the time
• re-connect with emotions that have been repressed (Didn’t think there were more?)
• learn & use the tools for coping with our intensity
• become the Good Parents to our Inner Child that we never had

TOOLS
BODY WORK (Site:Trauma release)body work
Any that can be administered by professional AND some we can learn to use on ourselves
• EFT – re-wires the brain enough to not over-react to specific stimuli
• biofeedback – be able to deliberately change our brainwave states, from very active to a calmer level
• energy healing – such as Reiki, Feldenkeris , craneo-sacral, Brain Gym…
• release work – Core-energetics, Gestalt, Qigong, Psychodrama,  … (A-Z therapies)
DRAWINGart therapy
• using our own creativity to express how the IC feels, past & present
• using any workbook that teaches IC drawing
READING
• recovery & Inner Child books & literature
• spiritual lit, poetry …. anything to calm the mind & heart

SEEING / LISTENINGlistening
• soothing, peaceful music
• for some – the tympani – in rhythm with our rage
• any music, movie… that gets our Niagara Falls flowing
SPIRITUAL
• healing circles, meditation, prayer, services … for wisdom & centering
TALKING
• to loving friends & family… but ONLY with people or groups genuinely able to tolerate intense emotions without judgment or trying to control
• 12-step Meetings, as often & as many kinds as possible
• Psychotherapy, including FoO work, Experiential, Primal, Gestalt….
VISUALIZINGvisualize
• Inner Child – putting an image to our experiences & then for continual comforting
• dreams, guided imagery, Hypnotherapy … for validation & nurturing

WRITING
• 4th-step inventory  – everyone needs to do this, but for O-Fs, to identify the riot of emotions always bubbling under the surface, ready to explode & the S-H beliefs that anchor the anxiety
• daily Morning pages, to keep track of our reactions to everyday life
• 2-handed IC Dialogues – get intimately acquainted with the kid & let it know it’s not alone anymore, listen thoughtfully, give guidance, correct CDs & protect from the PP
• lists of self-hate statements – to stop adding more sufferinglists
• lists of good qualities – to shift the pain into joy!
• Gestalt Dream writing – see Part 1

REMINDER: The more we clean out old pain in safe ways, the more room there is for healthy pleasure! Our suffering will be replaced by a sense of relief & comfort.  Being comfortable is not boring! We just have to let the brain get used to it.

When we’ve developed healthy boundaries, our sensitivity will then be a special gift, to be used in:
• correctly identifying who & what is safe for us, in our environment
• empathizing with, comforting & helping others, but only those who are appropriate & only when we are able or want to! (see posts: “Feeling Sorry For – under & over” ,  “Rescuing and “Healthy Helping”)

NEXT:  Accessing & Accepting Es (#1)

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