“THE BUCK STOPS HERE”
– it’s up to me to be OK, now
PREVIOUS: Positive Character: Knowledge
See ACRONYM Page for abbrev.
“The buck stops here” ˜ Harry S. Truman.
It may be called the ‘ultimate responsibility‘ because it cannot be shared – it’s the obligation to bear the consequences for failure to perform as expected. It is striving to express our highest values in whatever we do, and aspiring to be our best in all interactions.
Re. work: each of us being responsible for the tasks and functions that are essential to our role or position
Re. relationships: taking responsibility for our motivations, words & actions – but not more than that (opposite of co-dependence)
EXP: • being clear & direct • not blaming others • doing things in the right way & for the right reason • being trustworthy
Recognizing and avoiding attitudes, words & actions that could create undesirable consequences. It includes being tactful – avoiding embarrassing situations, not upsetting others, good at keeping secrets, at not attracting inappropriate attention to ourselves. Respectful of taboos, not being sucked into what we know is unhealthy or illegal – for us or in general
EXP: • choose our words carefully • have good manners • thoughtfully consider criticism • don’t make fun of others • turn down any invitation to do wrong
The ability to respond easily & appropriately to new or changing emotional moods or physical conditions in our environment – by altering or modifying our actions & attitudes when needed, without great stress. Willing to shift plans or ideas at the direction of authority figures we need to deal with. Flexible thinking : Consider new or different explanations for an event or a chain of events.
• not get upset when plans change • respect the decisions of others • not be stubborn • look for the good in changes • not compromise what is right
LOYALTY (unswerving allegiance)
Show our commitment to those we serve or care about, during hard times. Hold to our vows, allegiance or obligations towards any person or group. Being supportive, consistent & faithful to a legitimate (healthy) person, ideal, custom, cause, or duty. It does NOT demand our silence or paralysis when somebody or something is in the wrong, is unfair, unjust….
• be of service to family & community • encourage others in hard times • don’t mock authorities • point out the good in others
PERSUASIVENESS (being effective)
The ability to gently maneuver “vital truths around another’s mental roadblocks.” Appeal to someone’s reason, values, beliefs or emotions, in order to convince them to adopt a particular belief or pursue a specific action – without doing harm to them or ourselves. Having legitimate influence over others allows us to live more in alignment with what we want, instead of what others want us to do or be
• appeal to a person’s conscience in terms of their best qualities • wait for the best time • point others in the right direction • not stretch the truth to make it more attractive • not argue or bully in order to convince someone
It means having a good sense of timing & foresight, implying the ability to plan ahead. Consistently being on time indicates we are the master of our life & therefore we can be counted on. It is shown by completing required tasks or fulfilling obligations before or by the time it’s due, being on time for appointments AND being prepared on arrival. It is knowing when our responsibility ends and another begins, while showing respect for others’ time & plans.
• not make people wait for us • not fall into the trap of “just one more” • be at the right place at the right time • prepare for unexpected delays • plan a daily schedule and keep it
Ready & willing to gladly receive all the good things life has to offer. Be attentive to whatever is unfolding in the present moment, taking in what is available & making the best use if it. Absorb & hold new suggestions or concepts quickly & easily, open to reasonable arguments, ideas, or change. Not have to fight for or be pushy in order to get what we want.
• be willing to receive it when it appears • accept people for who & what they are • patiently wait for things to develop • be grateful for what we have
SENSITIVITY / EMPATHY
Show consideration & personal concern for others. Consider things from someone else’s point of view. Be able to pick up on others’ actual attitudes, motives & state of mind. Understand & identify with the emotions of others – as a direct result of having access to a wide range of our own emotions. Making other people feel comfortable. Be able to fit into different social situations. Don’t decide about someone based only on one interaction & don’t let our own fears & prejudices get in the way on how we treat them
• read body signals, tone of voice & facial expressions • make it easy for people to click with us • say supportive & comforting things to someone in pain • a deep appreciation for another’s point of view • NOT feel sorry for
TOLERANCE (towards self & others)
Appreciate diversity – the willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others, allowing others the right to their own opinions & peculiarities, & to be happy in their own way. Accept ourselves & others just as we/they are, rather than how we’d like ourselves/them to be.
Realize that everyone is at different stages of character development, accepting that others express their unique character qualities in varying degrees of maturity. Overlook minor irritants in others. Ask ourselves “How important is it?”
• don’t confuse what’s popular with what’s right • expect the same of ourselves as we expect of others • look for ways to help others grow & mature • accept the parts of us and other people that are UNchangeable • listen carefully, with open mind, before forming an opinion
NEXT: Positive C. – Humanity