being reliable 

by honoring my awareness & knowledge

PREVIOUS: Healthy Trusting (Part 2)

QUOTES: “One who does not act in accordance to the deep voice of his inner conscience can’t be honest, truthful, trustworthy, loyal & faithful to anyone.”  ~Anuj Somany, Indian Poet & Civil Engineer

“You express trustworthiness when you do what is asked of you  – when & how it is asked of you”  ~Anon

This quality gives ACoAs the inner sense & outer experience of the empowerment we want, while reducing anxiety in ourselves & the people we deal with.  It’s based on a combination of our Personality, shared Values, Skills, Integrity & Good-will – which applies to all types of relationships.

BEING T. requires that we:
• have stopped obeying the Negative Introject & all it’s Toxic Beliefs
• are not driven by Self-Hategood inner voice
• no longer have to lie in order to hide ourselves (ACoA Laundry List characteristic)
• much less afraid of abandonment so can take reasonable risks
• have burned off enough rage so we don’t have to take it out on others, no matter how subtly
• do not need to compel anyone to stay with us, to insist others see us, to prove ourselves….
• are able to hear our own ‘still small voice’ & act on it
• know what our rights and skills / talents are, & not afraid to use them

Psychological – BE:
• first & foremost honest with yourself, which is based on self-esteem
• able to resist temptations to hurt others for your benefit
fair in all your interactions – treat others as you want to be treated
• respectful of people’s point of view as valid, even when you deeply disagreeUNIT in charge

concerned for others as individuals who have their own path in life (which is not ours).  It will give us insight into why people do things or are the way they are
empathetic with others’ difficulties whenever possible, without having to take care of or fix them
sympathetic with others humanity – allow for their faults & mistakes
• able to communicate accurately, openly and transparently (not manipulative, needy, passive-aggressive, controlling, sullen or using CDs)

Practical – BE:
dependable, keep our word, follow thru – within reason. Don’t over-commit, try to impress or promise things we can’t deliver or have no control over producing
competent and efficient  – not perfect
consistent and predictable – not controlling or rigid

• able to keep other people’s secrets & personal information to yourselfgood communiaction
• faithful & loyal – to those who have earned your trust
defend or protect others when the opportunity arises
• able to listen carefully & with an open mind, without losing ourselves

• willing to talk about what we have personal knowledge or experience of, rather than just spouting facts, exaggerating or being boastful
ask for input from others about what they know & how they feel – to not be arrogant, superior, narcissistic
share control, when appropriate, encouraging co-operation & allowing ourselves to be supported

BENEFITS of being Trustworthy
• We feel happy kidgood about ourselves, have self-respect & can hold our head high in any situation.
HINT: A happy Inner Child makes for a happy adult!
• It represents having good character (requires doing the ‘right’ thing even when it is costly or risky), which allows us to build a good reputation
• It allows us to find & enjoy abundance in any area of life, since we need others in our search for a satisfying existence

Re. OTHERSfrindly biz wmn
• Being authentic makes us stand out & we become known for integrity
• It makes people want to be around us
• Others like dealing with us professionally, are pleased to see us socially & generally feel comfortable around us
• It makes it easier to get others to cooperate on projects & events
• It contributes to making our community & the world a better place

NEXT: ACoAs Rebuilding Trust – #1


2 thoughts on “Being TRUSTWORTHY

  1. I grapple with trust. I’m all creamy cute frosting on the outside and tempered metal on the inside, lol.

    I love the way you present all sides of a topic like trust, how to recognize it, healthy expectations, and where our responsibility lies. Bringing it full circle helps me, not to mention it feels proactive, I dislike being a powerless victim 🙂

    Your posts are swimming along nicely with my own process. My hubby and I are good but even there I do think I’m getting better at seeing things for what they are and avoiding some frustrations that seem to have been part of my life. I am purging some friends (pardon the term), it is difficult and a bit lonely but looking ahead in my life, what I want in life, I think I’m on the right track.

    Love your work!


    • YEAH for you!
      Personally, I like being thought of as fire & ice. But I’m the reverse – ‘hard’ on the outside, soft on the inside! – tho’ not hard (angry, defensive) and not squishy (scared, wounded) on the inside, like before Recovery


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s