I BALANCE the EXTREMES BETWEEN
healthy & unhealthy, too much & too little….
PREVIOUS: Being Confident (#1)
QUOTES: “Kindness in Thinking creates Profoundness. Kindness in Words creates Confidence. Kindness in Giving creates Love.” (&) “When you are content to simply be yourself, & don’t compete or compare, everyone will respect you.” Lao Tzu
REMINDER: Do NOT let yourself get overwhelmed by this list. It’s meant to be a guide, qualities to work towards. Looking at the cup half full – or more – notice & then acknowledge when you have expressed a little of any one of these in your daily life, give yourself a pat on the back, & remind your Inner Child of your progress!
CONFIDENT People (cont):
• take responsibility for their thought, emotions & actions. This includes all their positive parts, as well as the less ideal ones. They don’t need to blame others when things don’t work out, but also don’t take on blame for things that have nothing to do with them.
• can be alone with their own thoughts. They know that mental GIGO means thinking, reading & listening to positive, healthy, enjoyable things, which can improve their knowledge & lift the spirit. Their inner dialogue is not harsh from Self-Hate, nor confused from listening to the PP, or fear & lack of self-awareness. So they don’t have to fill every minute with conversation, technology (TV, e-mail, cellphones, texting, web surfing, playing games….) & other time-waters, in order to numb out.
• trust their instincts. They pay careful attention to their environment, pick up on non-verbal cues, listen to the feeling in their gut & the still small voice in their head. They do not ignore these cues, even tho they can’t be explained logically. Instincts are an important tool in their bag of life skills, guiding them on their path, helping to make the best choices
• ‘keep it simple’. Whenever possible they find the simplest, sanest way to do things, no matter where they are or who they’re dealing with. They never have to re-invent the wheel, & don’t hang out in convoluted, torturous thinking, drama or awful-izing. Knowing who they are & what they want, they can think clearly, so don’t easily get sidetracked or manipulated.
• follow their goals and dreams. They’re comfortable owning their talents & desires, knowing they are part of their True Self. They don’t let fear, doubt or other people’s negativity prevent them from striving for their plans & visions. They want to have a purposeful life – to fulfill as much of their destiny as possible, & contribute to improving society
• use alone-time ‘wisely’. They’re not often lonely when no one is around. They may use free time to process recent events, work on a hobby, do a spiritual practice, converse with their Inner Child, or just enjoy being quiet & peaceful. If they need to hide out or isolate, to recover from an illness or great stressor, it’s temporary.
• accept help whenever they need it. They’re not ashamed of not knowing everything, or of not being able to do everything themselves, so are not afraid to ask for & receive emotional support & practical help. Confident people are secure enough to admit having limitations, & don’t see that as a sign of weakness They know that when seeking help they pay someone a huge compliment – it shows genuine respect for that person’s expertise and judgment. Otherwise they wouldn’t have asked. They are eager and willing to learn from others
• are optimistic. They have a realistic view of their future, knowing from experience that bad situations eventually right themselves, & that stresses can be overcome with sensible plans. They have the ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel, & plan their journey toward it. Optimism allows confident people to believe that they will be OK, no matter how bad the current situation may seem. They never give up, but know it’s good to regularly take a break.
• counter doubt with positive actions.
Never having any doubts about oneself is a sign of severe narcissism & other pathologies, just as perfectionism is a sign of self-hate. In reality, everyone people experience an occasional knock to their self-worth. In those cases, confident people take some time to question their motives & review their choices, but don’t get paralyzed. Their mind is focused on solutions, so they take actions as soon as possible, or keep working towards a better outcome in the future. One antidote to doubt is an increase in productive activity. (CHART, re confidence vs doubt)
• assume: “Why not?, Why not me?” Truly confident people know they have almost unlimited access to PPT, with the right to ask for & get a piece of whatever is available in their environment – but done fairly & legitimately. They know there is ‘enough for everyone’, so they don’t have to wait endlessly (for permission) to express their ideas or get what they’ve earned – to be hired, promoted, chosen, acknowledged, ‘discovered’, helped, given info….
They create networks & relationships, often quietly, behind the scenes. They aren’t afraid to choose their own path, instead of following the most used one.
NEXT: Confident People (Part 3)