PREVIOUS: Being Confident (#2)
QUOTES: “Confidence, like art, never comes from knowing all the answers. It comes from being open to all the questions.” ~ Earl Gray Stevens, UK peer
“The only person you should try to be better than – is the person you were yesterday” ~Anon
REMINDER: Do NOT let yourself get overwhelmed by this 5-part list. It’s meant to be a guide, qualities to work towards. Looking at the cup half full – or more – notice & then acknowledge when you have expressed a little of any one of these in your daily life,. Then give yourself a pat on the back, & remind your Inner Child of your progress!
CONFIDENT People (cont):
● use positive language. Words are used to reinforce a confident image, talking positively about their life or of their environment. In social situations they avoid foisting their problems on others, keeping complaints & criticism to a minimum, since it’s not useful in most relationships.
— When meeting new people they’re not shy about leading with a personal introduction, which underscores respect for themselves, & signals that what they have to say is worth listening to
● stick to their principles. They know what they believe in, & are willing to stand up for (silently or out loud) those beliefs, even when in the minority. They maintain personal integrity by doing what they believe to be correct, whether others encourage or mock them. It’s about doing the right thing for the right reason, even when no one is watching.
SAYING: “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”
● are ambitious & competitive. It’s one of their main traits: they know what they want, easily define their goals, & persistently work toward them. They love to test their skill & ability to handle demanding situations against the best efforts of others, because they believe they win, even if they ‘lose’.
● are determined & hard-working. They know their goals are their own & are worth pursuing, so they will not abandon them, even if they have to be delayed or sometimes seem impossible. They believe it’s better to try & fail, & continue trying, than to give up and let doubt take over. They know the best path to reaching their goals is to put in a sustained effort, no matter how difficult or tiring. Hard-working people are confident, and confident people are hard-working. It’s a chicken-egg thing. But they also know when to rest!
● accept change & delay. It is said that “Change is the only constant.” While confident people may not always like the changes they have to deal with, they accept them and do their best to go with the flow. They can manage the frustration of waiting for things to unfold, knowing that some things take longer than others. “Delay is OK”
● take responsible risks. They are able to take risks because they’re not afraid to lose or to be wrong. While confident in their abilities, they also have learned that nobody wins them all, but they have a good chance to win out some other time or in a different situation. They’re willing to go the extra mile, but know the difference between a gamble and a risk, so they’re not foolhardy nor act impulsively.
— They always try to minimize potential dangers to themselves & others by making informed choices among available options, & consider the pros & cons of possible outcomes. They prepare as much as they can, & then take whatever actions they feel are worth the possible benefit they’re aiming for. Gaining enough benefits in life makes the occasional loss bearable.
● like to learn, & try new things. They’re eager to find out about many different cultures, ideas, locations & ways of doing things. With an open mind, they gain extensive knowledge, as well as have strong personal opinions about things that are important to them. They’re genuinely interested in what others think, & listen attentively. They know a lot, but realize there’s always more to learn. Trying new things encourages personal growth & the opportunity to connect with others.
● listen much more than they speak. One study found that over 80% of confident people don’t talk randomly, nor a great deal. In most cases they’d rather listen, but when it’s their turn, they talk easily & boldly. While they are comfortable expressing themselves, they know when to be quiet. Because they’re not driven by deep anxiety, they can let others shine – or be wrong – without jumping in.
— They’re not shy about sharing their knowledge, but don’t need to show off or preach. They already know what they think, so they want to know where others are coming from. They understand that most people like to talk about themselves, so it’s OK to give others the opportunity. They tend to ask open-ended questions that gives someone a chance to be introspective & to be ‘seen’, such as: “What you do, how you do it, what do you like about it, what have you learned from it…. ?”
NEXT: Confident People (Part 4)