GENUINE, HEALTHY CONFIDENCE
is an expression of self-esteem
PREVIOUS: Being confident (Part 4)
SITE: ‘Creating Confidence” (scroll to 10 tips)
QUOTES: “Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in giving creates love.”
“When you are content to simply be yourself, & don’t compete or compare, everyone will respect you.” Lao Tzu
REMINDER: Do NOT let yourself get overwhelmed by this 5-part list. It’s meant to be a guide, qualities to work towards. To look at the cup half full – or more – notice & then acknowledge when you have expressed a little of any one of these in your daily life. Then give yourself a pat on the back, & remind your Inner Child of your progress!
CONFIDENT People (cont):
● stand out in a crowd. Confident people tend to be more successful in life, have better personal relationship & perform better at school or at work
● appreciate compliments. Allowing oneself to receive, graciously & with appreciation, is a sign of solid self-esteem. Knowing their abilities & value, they don’t need to minimize or reject expressions of honor & appreciation from others, freely given. It lets other have the joy of giving, as well. This self-knowledge also helps distinguish between compliments that are genuine, & those that are manipulative & controlling.
EXP: “Thanks, I really worked hard on that —-. I’m pleased you recognize my efforts.”
● are thankful & don’t complain. They keep in mind all the benefits & blessings they DO have, & work toward what they still lack or desire. They acknowledge, appreciate AND enjoy what’s available, which generates inner peace
● are shrewd (clever, crafty – but not sneaky). Being practical, savvy & having good judgement creates self-confidence, giving them an edge. Confident people know when to keep going, & when to step away from a situation. They’re often good at quickly sizing up others, figuring out social hierarchies & potential hot buttons. When they combine being clever with wisdom, they can get a lot accomplished without stepping on toes.
BTW: Crafty means taking an existing idea & turning it into something new, exciting and dynamic, or the ability to come up with fresh ideas at a moments notice, & be able to deal with stress in ways most others would never think of doing.
● are accepting & respectful. Confident people are often the most accepting of others, no matter their shortcomings – even when they may not like someone – because they respect themselves & know that all human beings are part of a larger whole. They can do this because they:
> know & own their own weaknesses, so don’t judge others
> understand everyone is different, with their own process & path
> don’t need others to be a certain way in order to feel safe
> realize they don’t have the power to change others
➼ They try to live by: “I will do unto others as I would want them to do unto me and my love ones.”
● are supportive, but don’t interfere. They put other people at ease, giving them honest support & encouragement when called for. They see the positive things in others, and letting others know what they admire – without jealousy or bitterness – creates long-lasting healthy relationships.
AND, they stay out of people’s way when they can not be of help or are not needed, instead of having to put their two cents in.
● celebrate their successes, & those of others. They are proud of their accomplishment & are grateful for any ‘good luck’ that comes their way. Even when they ‘lose’ to someone else, they’re truly happy when others do well, especially loved ones, because it allows them to be surrounded by accomplished & happy people. So they don’t mind when the spotlight shines on others.
THOUGHTS: Confidence is one of the most attractive and powerful trait someone can have – as long as it’s grounded in self-esteem & respect for others. People are drawn to those who are comfortable with themselves.
• Confidence does not automatically come from genius or beauty, but by the way we think & feel about ourselves & the world. That means anyone can become confident. (YOU too!)
• Confident people are not ‘up’ all the time, which would be unhealthy & unrealistic. When they are ‘down’, stressed, confused or unhappy, they know : it won’t be forever, and
— they’ll be able to find a way under, over or around the discomfort, either by themselves or with help
— they’re able to balance their emotions with realistic thinking, not ignoring either side
• Confident people search out & make use of all the resources available in their world to improve life for themselves & others.
➼ NO ONE has all of these positive characteristics – at least not 100% each. Confident people will have many of them – but in varying proportions, with some showing up early in their life, others not until much later.
REMEMBER: Progress, not perfection!