Enneagram – Type ‘DEFECTS’ (Part 3a)


defect part 3
I HATE TAKING MY INVENTORY
it makes me feel hopeless

PREVIOUS: Enneagram ‘Defects’ (Part 2)

QUOTE: “ People are wonderful; people are difficult. The Enneagram helps us make sense of both these statements” ~ Peter O’Hanrahan

EACH TYPE develops their own way of coping with a lifetime of stressors, which often end up adding to our distress.  'defects' Part 3
Notice on this chart how each WIC reacts to the lack of positive nurturing.
As you read thru the following descriptions, keep in mind you don’t have to identify  with every aspect, even if you know your #.
Your specific Wings, Arrows, & other sub-types all need to be taken into consideration to have a clear picture of  your style.
w = each Type has 2 wings – additional modifying characteristics – one number on either side, with one as a preference.  EXP: 5w4 & 5w6.  MORE later.

TYPE 1 – The REFORMER  (also 9w1 & 2w1, somewhat)
FEAR: of being corrupt & “bad,” (not good) so they refuse to recognize their mistakes, and take even mild suggestions as criticism
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be perfect”

WEAKNESS : Becoming frustrated & angry when things or others don’t meet their high standards. Insist on being correct at the expense of their association with others. Al-Anon asks: “Do you want to be right, or do you want to  be happy?”

DEFENSIVE PATTERN: 1s use ‘reaction formation’ – an opposite or unrelated reaction to an authentic feeling – to avoid direct anger, & to maintain a self-image of always being right

HIDE from others:  “I’m not as perfect as I appear to be.” Anger & frustration in part comes from 1s being resentful for having flaws. They’re convinced that if they’re seen as less than perfect they’ll lose their position of the moral authority & arbiter of logicperfectionism

PROJECTION: Since 1s avoid their own anger & imperfections, they project those out onto others – whom they experienced as being critical & angry towards them.  In general, the world is experienced as being careless, flawed, frivolous, imperfect, messy & wrong. They feel obliged to clean it up, straighten everyone out & get them back on the road to perfection (so they themselves can feel ‘safe’)

MANIPULATE by: constantly correcting other people, playing on others’ sense of guilt & inadequacy, insisting that others share their standards

Create CONFLICT by: being opinionated, critical/self-critical, impatient, irritable, judgmental, rigid, perfectionistic, sarcastic

   

TYPE 2  – The HELPER  (also 1w2 & 3w2, somewhat)
FEAR: of being unloved & unappreciated, so they play favorites, judging some people more worthy of their attention than others
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be connected”

WEAKNESS : Have very poor boundaries, & help others instead of taking care of themselves.  Insist on exclusivity and ever more nearness

DEFENSIVE PATTERN: 2s use ‘repression’ of personal needs / feelings to avoid seeming to be needy (which they are), to maintain a self-image of being all-loving, & gain the approval of others

HIDE from others: “I’m not as caring as I appear to be.” Pride prevents 2s from overtly expressing their needs, so they try to get them met indirectly, secretly. They believe that by being constantly helpful, others will reciprocate – as if their good deeds are vouchers to be cashed in later. But others don’t know that’s the deal & therefore often disappoint 2shelper

PROJECTION: Since 2s avoid their own needs, they project that out onto others, who are experienced as cold, critical, heartless, indifferent, mean, prickly, selfish, withholding AND needing help. So 2s think it’s their job to scope out & empathize with the needs of others and minister to us, thereby making themselves indispensable

MANIPULATE by: mind-reading (scoping out what others need or want, & then catering to them, creating secret dependency)

Create CONFLICT by: being clingy, flattering, ingratiating, insincere, people-pleasing, possessive, seductive, self-important, self-deceptive, worries

   

TYPE 3  – The ACHIEVER  (also 2w3 & 4w3, somewhat)
FEAR: of being worthless & without value, so they create a too-good-to-be-true image, & push to achieve at any cost
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be outstanding”

WEAKNESS : Believing that an image of being successful comes first rather than expressing who they really are. Insist on career and social status over relationships

DEFENSIVE PATTERN: 3s use ‘identification’ to avoid failure and maintain a self-image of being successful. Focus all their energy on an idealized facade and lose their True Self in the process

HIDE from others: “I’m not as together as I appear to be.” Self-deception causes 3s to put on a ‘I have it all together’ persona, as anything less would not meet their need to be the best. They can’t face the possibility that others would seachievere them as a failure or incapable

PROJECTION: 3s avoid failure & inefficiency, so these unacceptable features are projected out onto others, who are experienced as being aimless, the source of all failures-inefficiency-ineptness, in danger of entropy, limited, losers, wall flowers, AND in need of assistance & guidance from the Three

MANIPULATE by: charming others, taking on/ adapting to whatever image will work to keep up appearances Create
CONFLICT by: being “appropriate” instead of sincere, boastful, competitive, grandiose, overly-driven, self-promoting, taking advantage

NEXT: Type Defects (Part 3b)

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