Enneagram – Type ‘DEFECTS‘ (Part 3b)


enn defects 3b

I WISH I DIDN’T HAVE TO
deal with these defects

PREVIOUS: Enneagram Defects, Part 3a

SITE: Everything Enneagram book

 


TYPE 4 – The INDIVIDUALIST
(also 3w4 & 5w4, somewhat)
FEAR: of being insignificant, unseen, without identity – so they become hypersensitive, moody & pretentious
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be unique”

WEAKNESS : Being ordinary is experienced as boring, but it also makes them ‘feel’ like a nobody, so they’re jealous of other people-places-things. Insist on having all of their emotional needs met at once
DEFENSIVE PATTERN: 4s use ‘introjection’ to avoid ordinariness and maintain a self image of being authentic. Internally they magnify a positive ideal, as well as obsess on self-blame for any painful outcome ​

HIDE from others: “I’m not as sensitive as I appear to be.”
Envy/jealousy that other people seem to have more & are treated better than themselves – leads 4s to develop an aura of emotional hyper-sensitivity. They want to receive special treatment, thinking it will compensate for all the unfair treatment they’re experienced

PROJECTION: 4s avoid being ordinary, so ‘commonness’ is projected out onto others, who individualistare experienced as being detached, insensitive, overly cheery, plain, predictable, rude, shallow AND not terribly interesting or refined.  4s experience themselves as unique & interesting, yet never understood. So they feel it is up to them to restore class, refinement & sensibility to the culture

MANIPULATE by: being erratic, temperamental, playing ‘hard to get’, making others “walk on eggshells”
Create CONFLICT by: being dramatic, emotionally demanding, moody, pretentious, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, temperamental, withholding

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TYPE 5 – The INVESTIGATOR (also 4w5 & 6w5, somewhat)
FEAR: of being helpless, useless & incapable, becoming emotionally overwhelmed, so avoid as much contact as possible with the world
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be detached”

WEAKNESS: Their urge to know everything on a topic or situation helps avoid a sense of emptiness. Insist on personal space & non-interference
DEFENSIVE PATTERN: 5s use ‘isolation’/ being withdrawn to avoid feeling small & helpless, & maintain a self-image of being all-knowledgeable. This provides the space to develop a sense of structure & try to understand their ‘problem’

HIDE from others:“I’m not as smart as I appear to be.”
Holding back / isolating allows 5s to keep from sharing their emotional life with others – mainly relating by their intellect. Their source of strength is in their accumulated knowledge, using it to keep others away

PROJECTION: 5s hate looking foolish (not knowing something), so they project their 1d1319272f56a3120542ebd0cfc1112fignorance out onto others, often feeling surrounded by a confederacy of dunces (Sherlock Holmes….). Others are considered to be emotional, foolish, overly effusive and chatty, myopic, oblivious, shallow-minded, stupid. 5s have the option of avoiding others entirely by withdrawing from the field, OR of researching and discovering the truth, & then enlightening everyone else

MANIPULATE by: staying preoccupied with thoughts and projects, detaching emotionally from others
Create CONFLICT by: being detached, extreme, high-strung, impractical,
isolated, preoccupied, provocative, unconventional, uncompromising
http://www.infjs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25006&highlight=enneagram+type+one

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TYPE 6 – The LOYALIST (also 5w6 & 7w6, somewhat)
FEAR: of never having support, & not being able to survive on their own – so they become defiant, defensive & suspicious
INTERNAL Story: “I must always be secure”

WEAKNESS : Anxiety, doubt & worry lead to a lack of trust in themselves
& therefore indecision & procrastination. They fluctuating between the need for be close and need to be alone, between self-distrust & over-reacting
DEFENSIVE PATTERN: 6s use ‘projection’ of their feelings on to loved ones & authority figures​ – to avoid experiencing personal rejection & maintain a self image of being loyal
HIDE from others: “I’m not as committed as I appear to be.”
Fear of experiencing punishment & disapproval from an internal or external authority figure, drives 6s to be overly-responsible and loyal. This makes them seem committed to any given cause, BUT the commitment is mainly to their own need for securityloyalist

PROJECTION: 6s avoid being disobedient & vulnerable, so they project rebelliousness and power onto others, who are experienced as flighty, isolated, overly trusting, negligent, reckless, threatening and trying to get away with something.
— For fearful 6s the world is experienced as disappointing & unsafe, so it is up 6s to create certainty, order, safety & security everywhere
— Counter-phobic 6s (not conscious of great fear) project ambivalence out onto others, especially authority, seeing them as inconsistent and untrustworthy, giving a need to scold or train others to be consistent and fair

MANIPULATE by: being evasive, complaining, testing others’ commitment to them
Create CONFLICT by: being blaming, defensive, doubtful, evasive,
negative, pessimistic, reactive, suspicious, worried

NEXT: Defects – Part 3c

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