I JUST WANT TO BE LIKED
so let me help you!
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SITE: Type 2 Overview
LEVELS by TYPE (cont.)
TYPE 2 – HELPERS / Mentors
Healthy Levels – Express Self-nurturing & Unconditional love. Able to shine with generosity and healing power.
Unhealthy Levels – Conversion-reactions & Psychosomatic problems. Hindered by people-pleasing and possessiveness.
HEALTHY 2s: Human welfare causes are very important to me.
The Humanitarian: You are altruistic, appreciative, caring, considerate, compassionate, empathetic, encouraging,generous, inter-personal, kind & warm-hearted.
● Altruism overcomes the 2’s flaw of Pride (in their ability to help/love), helping you fulfill your own needs & become more self-aware. You highly value service and making connections, are able to love unconditionally, see the bigger picture & want to make a difference in the world – not just with loved ones. Others feel supported and cared for.
AVERAGE 2s: I put the needs of others ahead of my own.
The Helper: You’re caring & considerate, sensitive to the needs of others – particularly loved ones, BUT often intrusive, interfering & meddlesome, even overbearing – in the name of “just trying to help”,
● You want freedom (from pain) & self-determination. But this desire is corrupted into freeing others instead of yourself, but this effort is an illusion. You’re giving – but selfishly – expecting a return, are emotionally demonstrative / overly friendly, do more talking than helping, have ‘good intentions’. You need to be needed, want others to depend on you, send double message, so people may feel ‘conned’ because your flattery can seem insincere (it’s just ‘too much’).
UNHEALTHY 2s: I will sacrifice myself for others.
The Martyr: You’re out of touch with your own needs, have no identity beyond your closest relationships & will unravel if you lose them. This makes you intrusive, giving-to-get (strings attached), manipulative & possessive. You become domineering, actually subverting your true goal of being helpful. Use guilt about how much you’re suffered, while excusing & rationalizing when you act badly, from rage at being abused & victimized.
Healthy loop: The Basic Desire of ‘Needing to be loved’ pushes 2s to help others – appropriately, which makes them loved, so the need is satisfied and balance is reached.
Average state: 2s rescue instead of help, so they don’t feel loved, causing the need to increase. If 2s to learn how to love correctly, balance is created.
Unhealthy loop is run by Basic Fear of ‘being unloved’, which can make 2s resentful & try to manipulate others into loving them. This tends to make people love them even less, further increasing 2s’ basic fear & preventing balance.
LENS you see the world thru: “What are other people feeling? What do they need? How can I meet their needs?”
GROWTH: Stop manipulating others & help with respect & boundaries.
LEVEL 5 in BIZ (Mid-Average)
At this level 2s can be effective leaders, but may place themselves as the power behind the throne, which keeps them from having to deal personally with hostility or rejection. 2s are sometimes referred to as ‘servant leaders’ who reverse the traditional structure of organizations, so that everyone serves the front-line staff who deal directly with the public.
— are very concerned with image
— align with powerful key figures
— put emphasis on identifying needs & fulfilling them
— are focused on people. They lead by empowering, engaging & inspiring
— are interested in developing key people & relationships
— tend to allow or promote an ‘in group’, with the inevitable ‘out group’ who is ignored by the 2
— measure their success by their effect on employees & customers
SUPERVISING Average Type 2 WORKERS
Never take 2s for granted – give them genuine appreciative comments for work well-done. Their love of connections with others does not mean disloyalty to the boss. They’ll jump to implement a half-baked business idea the boss is tossing around, thinking to get praise for their usefulness, but instead get in trouble. So be clear about what you want & don’t want done
— prefer dealing with others face-to-face
— seek approval by always trying to be helpful
— need to be appreciated, otherwise may ‘go on strike’ (stop helping)
— place a high priority on having their emotional needs met
— want to be attractive to others, so at this level are people-pleasers
— either love or hate others, depending on how they’re treated
— need strong guidance at the beginning of a project, but once on their feet they perform well
(From: Global Leadership Foundation)
NEXT: Type 3 level