Anger – Negative USES (Part 2)


anger at self 

NOTE to READERS: Here is Part 2
which I forgot to add in Feb!

 



SITE:  PFC & Mirror Neurons: The Arena of Shen & Hun?” (scroll way down) From Chinese medicine

 

NEGATIVE uses of Anger (cont.)

Toward SELF
ISOLATION – being so angry at the way people are – disappointing, hurtful, thoughtless, unavailable…. (“The whole world sucks, so I’m not participating”)
FALSE POWER, to let us feel like we’re in charge of Self, others & life in general, when we’re actually NOT
ATTENTION – a negative way to be seen, heard, respected, feared….

Toward OTHERS
ATTACKING – display of anger used as a weapon, but not necessarily from actually feeling angry: to intimidate, punish, destroy someone’s self-image, shock into submission

COERCION – use one’s position of power to dominate, force someone to back down, be quiet, do only what we want – against their will…. Bullies only win if they appear powerful AND the other side’s options are limited

CONTROLLING
— to mange or change how some else feelscontrolling
— to get our own way about something, at another’s expense
— to make someone feel guilty so we don’t have to
— keep trying to get someone to change for us (be what we want / think we need)

DEFENSE against:
— being abandoned (“if I keep finding fault & being angry at you, I can leave first”)
— others’ emotions, which can trigger Es in us we don’t want to feel / also against someone’s FEAR, which makes us feel afraid too
DEMEANING another to feel one-up or less vulnerable : make fun of, dismiss, degrade, insult, roll one’s eyes, shame, mimic….

DISTANCE: prevent others from getting too close, as false boundaries put up walls to protect our vulnerable inner self
— avoid physical &/or emotional intimacy
— blocks communicationScreen Shot 2016-06-01 at 4.11.54 PM

DIVERSION / deflecting someone’s attention away from:
— a sensitive / painful topic
— info the person wants to hide
— a situations the person can’t handle or wants to escape
— a personal weakness or limitation

ENTITLEMENT
Getting away with inappropriate anger creates & then reinforces a false sense of entitlement, an illusory feeling of moral superiority that can be used to justify immoral actions, with the belief that”the end justifies the means” (used to justify bullying, collateral damage, purges, terrorism…)

MANIPULATION – keep people off-balance, even if we’re not really angry,
— so we don’t have to do what they want, (but won’t admit it)Screen Shot 2016-06-01 at 4.11.43 PM
— are not able to give them what they want (afraid to say so)
— stop them from something demanding of us
— deflect their anger at us

PROJECTION
— of our abusive/neglectful parents onto others OR
— projecting only negative outcomes into the future , about something we want or is imp to us & assume we won’t get it

PUNISHMENT / revenge, as payback for real or imagined injury

SEPARATION – inappropriate way to separate (cover FoA) – always starting a fight before leaving
— destroy other people’s boundaries (need for symbiosis)
SUPPRESSION
— the needs of another – so we don’t have to deal with or provide them
— the emotions of others – so they don’t trigger our own vulnerability, & feel like we have to fix them (but don’t know how & don’t really want to!)

INTERESTING: In Chinese medicine, Emotions are considered large movements of energy which override the Qi’s usual flow through the body’s channels.  Their 5 movements of energy: Anger, Joy, Meditation, Fear, Grief. ANGER energy gets pushed out in a jagged way, disturbing the Liver, whose job is to lift energy up to the Spirit, at the center of the SHENG cycle

• Used in Acupuncture, this cycle represents creativity, generation & production, each of wood elementthe 5 elements feeding Qi to the one on its right, clockwise – creating that next one, as a mother creates a child. (Scroll to 5 element chart)  / ALSO: “Applying the 5 elements

EXP
: LIVER = Wood transforms (by burning) into HEART = Fire. Wood is the Element of determination, anger & assertion. It produces the creative urge to achieve – which can turn to anger when frustrated. Wood-anger, expressed aggressively, can also come from not feeling in control of life events.

Wood-Children:  Physical complaints can be traced back to a difficult birth &/or a painful childhood, when parents over-controlled with harsh discipline or too much structure. As adults, these people’s emotions range mostly from frustration to hopelessness. They will shout & act assertive, be pushy & want others to push back. BUT they also want to know that others are in control, so they can relax. The color green will seen to float above the skin, like a glow….(MORE...)

NEXT: New Template

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