ACoAs – Arrogance vs HUMILITY (Part 2b)

Screen Shot 2016-05-26 at 8.16.17 PMTHE MORE SELF-ESTEEM
the more humility!

PREVIOUS: Arrogance vs HUMILITY (2a)

SITE: ‘HUMILITY – the most beautiful word in the English Language’

QUOTEs:  • “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~ Aristotle
• “Do you wish people to think well of you? Don’t speak well of yourself.” ~ Pascal

MARKERS of Humble People : Re. ONESELF
• Basically: they are good for the sake of being good, admitting they’re as human as everyone else
• Know their inner worth, so they’re not dependent on out-performing others, or having to always be ’the first, the best, the most…. ’

• Are OK with being an ordinary/average person (even if ‘special’, gifted, ‘important’), rather than only feeling acceptable if part of some ‘in crowd’. Don’t need to frantically chase some intangible or unrealistic degree of importance, success, fame or power

• Have an honest and accurate assessment of their talents, limits & areas that need improving. Can admit mistakes, & ask for forgiveness
• Have a clear perspective of reality, respecting their place in whatever context they’re in
• Willing to yield the right to be right. Do not demand their rightsScreen Shot 2016-05-26 at 7.46.19 PM

• Able to value but not spoil themselves (not constantly giving in to every whim – run by the WIC). Humble self-respect is not attracted to superficial or unhealthy behavior
• Can handle frustrating situations with a greater sense of peace, since they tend to respond, rather than react, to life’s challenges. Able to control their temper

• They are teachable – assuming there’s always more to learn about & from all people/places/things
• Are courteously, respectful, not pretentious, not boastful or gloating about their accomplishments
• Are happy to work behind the scenes, when required or appropriate, knowing their work is as important as work done in the spotlight

MARKERS of Humble People : Re. OTHERS
• Know they need others, so would rather be open & vulnerable rather than closed & ‘distant’
• Show honest interest in others, by asking about their lives & accomplishments

• Are motivated to help people, being aware that others have needs too
• Treat each person as someone of value, regardless of position in society, profession, age or economic status
• They are compassionate & look for the best in others (realistically). Give others the benefit of the doubt

• Are able & willing to forgive others, letting go of grudges & bitternesshelp others
• Don’t pre-judge others’ behavior – knowing that others have their own reasons for doing things (that are annoying), even if they don’t know or never find out what those are

• Asks Qs & loves dialogue (not assume they know), & use conversation to explore new worlds.
• They speak simply, not trying to manipulate or trip others up.
• ALSO puts energy & effort into listening

• Don’t gossip, especially about faults they see in others
• Respect those in authority, & pray for them to have wisdom
H prevents them from self-embarrassment in competitive situations, while being comfortable with others’ success

Social Activism: One form H can take is in the area of reform, such as expressed in the 2013 workshop by Melanie Marie Tervalon “Cultural Humility: Working in Partnership with Families and Communities”.
Included topics were: The work of reversing health disparities in the US / Using the tools of cultural competence & cultural humility at work

In Business: Humility is being studied as a multi-dimensional trait, which includes self-understanding, awareness, openness & perspective ability – found to enhance leadership effectiveness, who are valued in social settings because of their tendency to be more generous, selfless & altruisticgrow with us
• Jim Collins, management guru, in “Built To Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies” (1994), says that humility is a key ingredient of leaders at the highest level of executive capabilities.
His simple formula is: Humility + Will = Level 5.
“Level 5 leaders are a study in duality – modest and willful, shy and fearless”, patient yet express fierce resolve. (MORE….)

Arrogant leaders can do well in business, but rarely create lasting relationships, because they doesn’t inspire loyalty and trust. They often find themselves surrounded by users who, in good times, are all too happy to take advantage of the egotist’s ruthless & obsessive need to ‘make good’, but who run for the hills at the first sign of trouble.

Confident leaders also succeed, but not at the expense of others. They have broader spheres of influence, attract better talent, inspire more confidence, loyalty and respect. Truly humble people are quietly self-assured, giving them more determination & commitment.

Business benefits of Humility – Gives a LEADER:humble leaders
• the capacity to lead out from a position of strength
• the ability to be more persuasive
• the courage to set aside personal gain for the good of others
• the candor to be honest, & the ability to change course if necessary
• the character to respond charitably when attacked (MORE….)

ARTICLEs: 3 Reasons to Be Humble: People, Agility, and Growth”, re. entrepreneurs
Humility: The Foundation Value of Innovation Leadership”

NEXT: 4 Parenting styles (Part 1)


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