ACoAs – Being Negative (Part 4)

ISN’T IT CRAZY TO TALK TO MY BODY? 

PREVIOUS: NT (#3)

Negative Thinking (NT) (cont)
1. re. OURSELVES
2. re. Personal RELATIONSHIPS

3. re. Our BODY
UNREALISTIC
a. At an extreme some ACoAs are hypochondriacs —  with the disorder that makes a person believe that body ‘feelings’ are signs of a serious illness —-> even when medical science can prove otherwise.
It’s their preoccupation with health, misinterpreting a physical sensation (gas, muscle ache, headache….),  making it something it’s not.

Illness becomes a part of the hypochondriac’s identity, causing relationships & work problems. It occurs in men and women equally.
Relentless NT about the body is a substitute for / defense against feeling the huge backlog of hidden painful emotions we’ve buried. And long-term, it harms our immune system (Psycho-Neuro-Immunology).

b. Body Dysmorphia (BBD) – the distorted, unrealistic image of one’s physical appearance (ugly, fat, too thin… ). Most often it’s the result having been sexually abused as a child. In extreme cases the person cannot “see” their body, only their head, even in the mirror.

ACTUAL – However, many ACoAs suffer real physical problems, FROM :
• years of addictions, self-abuse & neglect
• being under constant emotional, mental & spiritual stress as kids, plus physical/sexual abuse, later creating very real medical conditions = the auto-immune diseases

• hereditary factors in alcoholic families: birth trauma, childhood ailments, mental illness, bad teeth & gums, depression, bipolar disorder, dyslexia, ADD, SAD, EDS, severe food allergies (wheat, sugar, nuts…), environmental illness & other chemical imbalances
SITE:“…severe childhood trauma can alter developing brain”

➼ Whether inherited or self-inflicted – it’s imperative to not use NT toward our bodies. We must never, ever curse our cells or wounded parts!
If we stay fearful, worried, & project the worst, OR rage at our organs, limbs, nervous system… the body absorbs that negative energy & may take longer to heal or maybe not at all. (Cartoons re. responses to Physical vs Mental illness)

Healthy EXP: Jody had a motor-bike accident which damaged a muscle group just above one knee & caused a limp. Along with Feldenkreis & Brain Gym, she spent time doing Positive Inner Dialoguing. Pictured the injury, she talked tenderly to her leg – “I love you & am so sorry you’re hurt. I can see the cells repairing themselves using the healing energy I’m sending you. You’re important to me & I need you. I want you to be strong again… ” While the muscle took longer to heal, the limp cleared up right away & all of the damage was eventually repaired.

5. re. THINGS
• This is a more subtle form of NT – saying bad things about objects, places, events…. anything not alive. Many people think it’s perfectly ok to call things insulting names : ‘Damn that stupid chair! I stub my toe on it every time!’ or ‘My car is such a piece of shit. It’s always breaking down.’

• What’s wrong with that? They don’t have feelings, so what’s the big deal? Well, it’s more of the same – projecting our painful childhood experiences onto objects, putting out more negative energy, which can get reinforced by others around us.

NOTE : Negative Reciprocal Attraction :  one person does something harmful to someone else, who then returns “the favor” with an action that’s similarly harmful (attack<–>revenge // glare<–>frown // ignore<–>snub… ). This explains why some people keep moving in the wrong direction, ie. away from ease, comfort & safety.

Reality Check
• Since the chair is inanimate, stubbing your toe may have to do with where it‘s placed, and/or the way you move thru space. In her autobiography  Nancy Friday tells of constantly getting black & blue from bumping into things. In therapy she learned that she was unconsciously punishing herself for her (repressed) rage at her mother

• And the car may be old & breaking down, but it’s not the car’s fault – maybe of the manufacturer, or yours for not taking better care of it – or it’s time to replace it but you’re mad & ashamed because you can’t afford to!

ACoAs tend to get things backwards, blaming things instead of identifying the real source of our pain. To be emotionally & mentally clean we need to identify & own:
😣 our disowned emotions (anger, hopelessness, disappointment, fear…) which then get projected on to PPT

😡 that we ignore experiences which actually were harmful, then redirect our anger & hurt back on to ourself or at innocuous objects

Blatant negativity is hard to miss, but ours can be so hidden that others may never realize how often we’re thinking that way.

NEXT: “Being Negative” (#5)