(World costumes by Phillip Martin)
MORE TYPE JOKES
Top Ten Signs You Are a TYPE 1 by Geenius at Wrok
10. You consider the word “that” in the above title to be crucially important, so it’s not ok to be left out
9. You’ve forever felt yourself “burning with the fires of righteousness”
8. All your life, you’ve dreamed of being a building inspector
7. All the cereal boxes on your shelf are turned so when you grab one, the opened end of the inner bag will be opposite your hand for easy pouring
6. You express brand loyalty when buying reference books
5. You can’t understand why the deli-man keeps putting the onion on top of the cheese, when putting it between the meat and the bread would keep it from sliding out all the time
4. You actually take your sandwich apart to fix it
3. The Scout Law seems, well, kind of OBVIOUS
2. You read “Walden Two” & thought Skinner was really onto something
1. You actually wrote 57 entries for this list, but the other 47 just weren’t good enough
● A 2, a 5 and a 9 go to play golf & end up queuing behind three men who can’t play well – at all. After 30 minutes they’re so annoyed they decide to complain to the golf course manager, who explains :
“These men are blind but they donated so much money to charity that the city decided to reward them by allowing them to play free occasionally”. The 9 and the 2 are both emotionally moved: “Sorry, we didn’t know & now we feel bad for getting mad a them”. The 5, however, gets even more upset: “Then why the hell don’t they play at night ??”
● How many feeling types (#2, 3, 4) does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: One to turn on the bulb (#3), while the 2s & 4s to relate to the experience.
CARTOON TYPES (MORE……)
Some famous 1s: Hilary Clinton, Tom Brokaw, Harrison Ford, Judge Judy, Martin Luther, Barack Obama, St Paul, The Lone Ranger, Pope John Paul II, Martha Stewart
Zina’s #1 mother often said “Of course I’m perfect!” about herself, AND “Look ashamed!” to her little girl when she wasn’t (just being a normal kid).
I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
Fun Quote: Franklin P. Jones
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it”
Walking in to a party: Point out to the host that they shouldn’t have put the food so close to the door – it’ll get cold
Some famous 2s : Alan Alda, Barbara Bush, Monica Lewinsky, Madonna, Mr. Rogers, Nancy Reagan, John Travolta
In her 20’s & 30s Zina (a #7) distanced herself from her #2 sister, who would complain to their mother: “Why won’t Zina talk to me? Why doesn’t she love me?”. Now in their 40’s they’re finally good friends.
As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep quiet.
Fun Quote: Gordon R. Dickson
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it on the wall instead of using it.
Walking in to a party: Suss out who’s the most influential person in the room & offer to get them a drink
NEXT: HUMOR #3