(World Costumes by Phillip Martin)
Top Ten Signs You Are a TYPE 5 by Dave
10. You call your plants by their Latin names
9. The more excited people around you get, the more drained you feel
8. You spend time at a party reading the books in the host’s library
7. You communicate almost exclusively by e-mail
6. Most of your friends are on social media, and you haven’t met any of them face to face
5. You consider it a good vacation if you can stay at home with your computer, books, videos, and garden for a week
4. You would like to do point 5 for a living (or already are)
3. You’ve actually read Darwin’s “Origin of the Species” and think it would make an interesting movie
2. Someone asks you how you feel about someone/thing, & you say you’ll let them know next week after you’ve had time to think about it
1. You bite into a Snickers bar, immediately seeing the correlation between the dissolving chocolate/peanut mixture and:
— quantum electrodynamics and the potential existence of dark matter in the universe
— the association of Mozart’s unfinished symphony and the cryptographic origins of ancient Sumerian linguistics
— how the right-handed Cartesian orthogonal system of coordinates aligns with mitochondrial cellular respiration, giving you a new understanding of the role of derivatives in modern financial portfolio analysis
— the ennea-grammatic functions inherent in Microsoft’s Windows 98. AND when you try to explain this simple relationship, people have no clue what the H– you’re talking about.
Some famous 3s : Truman Capote, Tom Cruise, Cindy Crawford, Anne Coulter, Johnny Cochran, Demi Moore,
many CEOs, Oliver North, Arnold Schwarzenegger, O.J., Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods.
Sara’s #3 mother’s only response to her #4 daughter – who was in extreme fear over money worries – was: “Your hair is a mess. Why don’t you fix it?”
To have a successful relationship, I must learn to make it look like I’m giving as much as I’m getting.
Fun Quote: Anonymous
You can’t leave footprints in the sands of time if you’re sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time?
Walking in to a party: Make sure everyone knows where they went to college, & that they made a million dollars last month
The TRAGIC ROMANTIC
Some famous 4s: Marlon Brando, Nicholas Cage, Eric Clapton, Ann Rice & her Vampires, Michael Jackson,
Vincent van Gogh, Dennis Rodman, Thomas Merton, Shakespeare, Allen Watts.
Mitzu’s #4 girlfriend often rants about how women go out in public without putting their face on! “Don’t they know they’d look so much better with makeup?!!”
I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.
Fun Quote: Kigichi Ishiritari
If life gives you lemons – make grape juice. Then sit back & let people wonder how you did it.
Walking in to a party: Sit by themselves somewhere, & look mysterious.
Some famous 5s: Buddha, Dick Cheney, Rene Descartes, Joe DiMaggio, Albert Einstein, T. S. Eliot,
Bill Gates, Lenin, Timothy McVeigh, Jackie O., Sartre, Scrooge
Even tho’ Benny knew his #5 father loved his family, dad spent most of his time locked away in his little office writing & studying, rather than talking to or doing things with the kids – or protecting them.
I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
Fun Quote: Garrison Keillor
Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It allows you to get stuck in more remote places.
Walking in to a party: Look for the exit!
NEXT: HUMOR #4