Enneagram Type 2 – Flaws in us ALL


type 2 

EVERY HAS TO LIKE ME
or else I’m wither away

PREVIOUS: Type 1 – all flaws

 

IMPORTANT: To understand the meaning / purpose of each topic, review ‘Type Flaws in us ALL – INTRO’.
Associated Type inside the ( )


Type 2 COWARDICE,
because of CDs (#6)
— Re. being alone: you think something’s very wrong, becoming anxious & at a loss for what to do when you’re alone for long periods of time (which might even be an hour, depending on the particular 2)
— Re. acknowledging own dependency needs: believe you don’t depend on others, but only that others need & depend on you
— Re. not being “nice”: you believe everything you do is & must be both thoughtful & considerate, so that when you’re not like that, you try to come up with reasons how your thoughts, feelings or actions weren’t all that “bad” or were just in reaction to someone else’s “poor” behavior

Type 2 FLATTERY (#2)  THINKING –
— about what each person might need from you
— that you should do something you really don’t want to do and then doing it, all so you won’t feel like a selfish person
— through how to engage another in conversation about him or her and not at all about you

Type 2 LAZINESS / Indolence (#9)
You may appear a little distracted or diffused, or focused & extremely alert. But all 2s engage in indolence in specific ways:
— Pay so much attention to others & their needs, but little attention to your own needs – that is, being indolent about yourself
— Thinking about & that it or isn’t is OK to express – not being clear enough about who you are, unwilling to share opinions, not manifesting your true desires – believing they’re not OK, too dangerous or that you’re not quite capable of stepping into a visible leadership
— You neither identify nor acknowledge your true feelings, as a way to preserve relationships & avoid conflict with anyone important to you

Type 2 MOODINESS (melancholy & resulting separation) (#4)
— You wonder why you’re not happy when you do so many good things for others
— Believe that no one really appreciates you, or that a specific person doesn’t value them, because they hurtful your feelings
— Wonder why your relationships are troubled when you put so much energy & effort into them

Type 2 PLANNING (as compulsion) (#7)
— Planning about how other people should connect & behave
— Think about what others should do that’s in their best interests, how others should ideally behave toward themselves, others or projects, & about how you can be useful or add value to others

Type 2 RESENTMENT (#1)
— Obsessing about all you’ve done for others, when there has been no (or minimal) reciprocation
— Playing over in your mind why your opinions/suggestions were not listened to as much as someone else’s
— Thinking about times when your or others have been ill-treated, & wondering about why people do that

Type 2 STINGINESS (#5)
— with acknowledgment: When thinking about someone who has wronged you, you feel they no longer deserve anything from you, so you stop or cut back on any further resources, no selfieattention or acknowledgment
— with self-care: believing you don’t deserve the kind of care & attention you so willingly give others, and so are stingy with providing for your own needs
— with generosity: assuming you’re entitled to give to some people or groups and not to others (subjective-giving), while also having the false self-belief that you’re actually generous to everyone

Type 2 VANITY (#3)
— Wish & hope that others would be as considerate as you are & wonder why others pay so little attention to this important aspect of human interaction
— Think you can get anyone you want to like you
— Believe you’re so good & selfless, while others seems to give into the baser motivations of self-serving self-interest

Type 2 VENGEANCE (#8)
What sets you off is thinking someone has — taken you for granted or used you
— not listened to or dismissed you, or when they’ve hurt other people
REACTION: labeling someone in various negative ways – from being rude to having deeply rooted character flaws
— deciding to make someone ‘invisible’ by completely ignoring them
GROWTH – Practice expressing my own needs & feelings directly, & in real-time

ALSO
Type 2 DISTORTED LENS
Embellished-focus: Exaggerate reality by adding elements not really there
Lesson: 2s remind us that the false-abundance they perceive is actually only potential, not true reality.

Type 2 HANGING ON (need to let go)
Hold on to: — being thoughtful, responsive, unselfish, considerate, without need
— also slights, when others have wronged you in some way (taken you for granted, accused you of bad intentions, been disparaging…)
Why: to maintain ‘your sense of self as the person who’ is so good that you consistently put others above themselves (false modesty)
Let go of: the belief that your only value comes from how much you do for others

Type 2 OFF-BALANCE by:
— Someone you care about (or want some sort of relationship with) moving away or avoiding you for reasons unknown
— Putting yourself first, with the impact of not doing something for someone else, then experiencing angst & guilt as a result
— Being in a social or business situation in which no one responds to youperfect

Type 2 MAYA (delusion)
Think that being so focused & intent on others means you can really do no wrong. Wrong!

Type 2 WORRY
“Will I be accepted? Have I hurt someone? Did I express myself too strongly or too weakly? Do I respect myself? Why am I so affected by other people’s reactions to me? Will the people I care about be OK? Who really cares about me?”

NEXT: Type flaws, #3

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