Enneagram Type 3 – Flaws in us ALL

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PREVIOUS: Type 2 flaws


IMPORTANT: If needed, to understand the meaning / purpose of each topic, review ‘Type Flaws in us ALL – INTRO’. Associated Type inside the  ( )

Type 3 COWARDICE because of CDs (#6)
— about failure: think that failure is simply not allowed in you vocabulary, or is something you’ve never experienced first-hand
— about being unmasked: worry, often unconsciously, that you’ll be found out to be a fraud in some way
— about intimacy: think you can’t get too close to others emotionally, because it would make you too vulnerable, be less able to function/achieve, or reveal your inadequacy in this area

Type 3 FLATTERY (#2)
— think about how to create a positive impression in another’s eyes by pretending to be more interested in the others than you actually are
— think through how to engage famous or important people so that some of their celebrity rubs off on you
— don’t share all of your thoughts (especially negative ones) about another person, so you won’t ruin your image or your relationship

Type 3 LAZINESS / Indolence (#9)
You’re are often thought of as very focused (even over-focused), but many 3s use their Arrow Line to Nine as a break from stress
— don’t want to think about anything serious, so get into relaxing routines such as video games, jogging, cooking (eating?), but more as a way to not pay attention to oneself (the movement of Threes to Nine)
— believe that emotions are a distraction from work, then engage in activity as a way to avoid feelings
— don’t reflect on who you really are. Instead, see yourself as the persona you’ve created

Type 3 MOODINESS (melancholy & resulting separation) (#4)
— Think of yourself as a fake who is pretending to be something you’re not (or not fully) & will get ‘caught’
— believe you’re totally without value when something you’ve tried to do doesn’t work out
— think you’re completely adrift & a nobody when you have no goals or plans

Type 3 PLANNING – as compulsion (#7)
Planning about how to achieve a specific goal you’ve set for yourself, how to get from point A to point B as efficiently & effectively as possible

Type 3 RESENTMENT (#1)
— Think about why someone disrespected you for your abilities
treated them in a way that showed a lack of
— Obsess about how someone in authority changed the rules of the game on you in mid-stream
— Can’t understand why other team members are so incompetence or show such a lack of commitment to your joint activity

Type 3 STINGINESS (#5)share success?
— with time: think yours is more valuable than that of others
— with sharing success: Believe you must compete with others to be successful and win, or else you’ve failed
— with sharing certain information about yourself: think that opening up about yourself, in any way, would make you seem less confident or not accomplished

Type 3 VANITY (#3)
— Decide, consciously or unconsciously, to delete information about yourself, that would make you look bad
 to yourself & to others
— Think you can accomplish just about anything you set your mind to
— Believe you’re the image of success which you’ve created – confusing your Real Self with that image

Type 3 VENGEANCE (#8)
What sets you off is thinking someone has — — made you look bad or sabotaged you
— blamed you for a problem that was not you responsibility
— taken credit for your work
REACTION: dismissing the person as a ‘loser’
— thinking of ways to not engage or interact with that person
GROWTH: Ask “Am I willing to disclose information that may not make me look good or may not conform with my ‘public’ image?”

Narrow-focus : embellishing reality by assume your accomplishments & qualities are better than you imagine them to be
Lesson: 3s remind us that with ‘blinders’ on any part of our vision we can miss the most important elements of a situation

Type 3 HANGING ON (need to let go)
Hold on to: — under-expressed sadness, anxiety, anger
— being competent, resourceful, goal-driven, effective, successful, confident
Why: to maintain your ‘sense of self as the person who’ can make happen whatever you want by being goal orientation, intense focus, personal drive
Let go of: the belief you must follow societal (or social-referent group) standards of success to feel good about themselves

— By having goals changed on you by an outside factor or individual
— Being disoriented by not knowing what you want to do
— Being ‘forced’ to discuss strong emotional reactions in-depthfalse freedom

Type 3 MAYA (delusion)
It’s that doing what you think you want is actually doing what you think you should want, & not understanding the difference between them

Type 3 WORRY
“What if I can’t really do this? What if I don’t live up to expectations? How do I know what I really want (rather than what I think I should want)? Will I get found out?”

NEXT: All Flaws – Type 4


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