Donna M Torbico
ACoAs know a lot, but often feel confused. We have a ”committee of voices” with conflicting points of view, often making it hard to function.
Who should we listen to: the Inner Child, the Harsh Parent, the Healthy Adult, our religion, our intuition ???
Here, in these posts, I try to make complex issues easier to think about & understand. Tell me if you agree, disagree, or if I’ve left something out!
CLARITY is a hallmark of mental health. The clearer our thinking, based on sound info, the more empowered & therefore SAFER we feel in the world.
Keep repeating: “I KNOW WHAT I KNOW” !!
I’m an NYC psychotherapist for ACoAs (adult-children of alcoholics & other narcissists) in private practice for almost 30 years. I’m the daughter of a missionary family (grew up in post-war Europe) & granddaughter of alcoholics, on both sides.
I knew in grammar school that my calling was to help people heal their inner wounds & am grateful to have been doing that, with God’s help, for so many years. I graduated from Hunter College in ’85, (Phi Beta Kappa) & have been a member of Al-Anon for over 30 years.
I’ve appeared on radio, television & at New Life Expo, created & presented ACoA / Al-Anon intensive weekend workshops & ran an ACoA therapy group for 6 years. I was an instructor at the NY Open Center for 9 yrs, presenting my 12-week interactive lecture course – “KNOWLEDGE Is POWER: What makes an ACoA” which I now teach elsewhere.
I’m married to Steve Bakkali, who designs & produces lamps, chandeliers & other interiors and we have 2 cats, Sweetie & Jazz. I also design & make knitted & crocheted sweaters, having gone to F.I.T. & worked in the fashion industry for 6 years before beginning my therapy career.
CLIENTS: Among a variety of clients, many are highly sensitive, creative/artistic people. All have benefited from my Pisces intuition & Gemini knowledge. In most cases they have said that it was the first time they were heard & understood, and had a safe place to express their intense emotions. Humor is also an important part of sessions, when appropriate, for its healing quality & to balance out the intensity of ACoA suffering.
I work with ACoAs of all ages from 18 to 85. Over the years, people have continued their therapy by phone from many different place, including South America, California, NY State, NJ, Fla, Chicago, Europe & India.
FOCUS: The hallmark of ACoAs is their deep-rooted fear of being abandoned and their intense self-hate. Self-hate is when we blame ourselves for being hurt, rather that understanding that almost nothing people do TO us has to do WITH us!
So, my work centers on helping clients:
• Identify & validate the pain of their early experiences
• Find their negative self-talk (Toxic Rules) & change it, to grow self-esteem
• Learn how to communicate with their Inner Child
• Have permission to own & feel all their emotions and express them safely
• Experience living well in the world, use their talents & have fun!
For Testimonials go to: www.acoarecovery.com (90 pages of ACoA info)
I offer a FREE intro session to see if we’re compatible
www.pisceanbeauties.com (knit & crochet designs)
www.baccalidesigns.com (Steve’s Lighting creations)