Thank you for creating this website with clear and helpful information. It’s taken me years to realize that who am I has largely been a function of roles I took on from unhealthy family dynamics. I see in myself both the Hero and the Placater, and I can clearly see my siblings in the Scapegoat and Lost Child Roles. Our ways of being and interacting have so greatly frustrated me, and after reading your blogs I now have great clarity in how we came to be the way we are. It takes a lot of the blame and pressure off of me internally, because I have always wondered as the oldest child if I couldn’t have done something to prevent my siblings from being the “way they were lol. You have my gratitude for your generosity in sharing this information so freely and in such an accessible format.
I’m glad to be of help. Have you found A-Anon? If you can’t go in person, try phone or internet meetings. Going to those meetings every day, 35 yrs ago, saved my life!
Hi. I just found this website, and I am so glad you developed it. I’m looking forward to reading as many of the posts as I can, in the hopes of receiving my own healing. I am an ACoA “by proxy”. The father of the woman whom I shall refer to as my “legal guardian” was an alcoholic who wrought a great deal of havoc upon his wife and children. My “legal guardian” was so profoundly scarred by the negative experiences of her childhood that she gradually became mentally disturbed. (Of course we always put on what I refer to as the “Leave It To Beaver” Syndrome whenever company came over, or we were out in public.) And even though she was a “teetotaler”, her behaviour was textbook characteristic of an alcoholic personality. When I read Dr. Janet Woititz’s book, ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS, it totally blew me away, because it was as if Dr. Jan had documented my own childhood experiences, and also because I pegged all 14 points (except for #8) on the Laundry List!!
Sadly, I must admit that in my own brokenness, I too have dished out a lot of bad karma. Hurt people hurt people. The cycle has got to end.
hi, i really really appreciate the excellent information you share here. thank you for all of it.
i however am confused about why there are so many acronyms? are acronyms how you process information best? are they your own? i have never seen them in the ACoA text.
Hi, Donna, I recently started following your blog. I love it; you’ve done well. I was constantly returning to the acronym page. Today I copied and pasted into a spreadsheet and printed a cheat sheet to look at while I read. I am sure I will eventually learn the acronyms but until then the list will help.
Thanks again for teaching us about this. I am finding it painful, but liberating.
ACoA website – 80+ pages:
HEAL & GROW for ACoAs 
Thank you for creating this website with clear and helpful information. It’s taken me years to realize that who am I has largely been a function of roles I took on from unhealthy family dynamics. I see in myself both the Hero and the Placater, and I can clearly see my siblings in the Scapegoat and Lost Child Roles. Our ways of being and interacting have so greatly frustrated me, and after reading your blogs I now have great clarity in how we came to be the way we are. It takes a lot of the blame and pressure off of me internally, because I have always wondered as the oldest child if I couldn’t have done something to prevent my siblings from being the “way they were lol. You have my gratitude for your generosity in sharing this information so freely and in such an accessible format.
LikeLike
I’m glad to be of help. Have you found A-Anon? If you can’t go in person, try phone or internet meetings. Going to those meetings every day, 35 yrs ago, saved my life!
LikeLike
Hi. I just found this website, and I am so glad you developed it. I’m looking forward to reading as many of the posts as I can, in the hopes of receiving my own healing. I am an ACoA “by proxy”. The father of the woman whom I shall refer to as my “legal guardian” was an alcoholic who wrought a great deal of havoc upon his wife and children. My “legal guardian” was so profoundly scarred by the negative experiences of her childhood that she gradually became mentally disturbed. (Of course we always put on what I refer to as the “Leave It To Beaver” Syndrome whenever company came over, or we were out in public.) And even though she was a “teetotaler”, her behaviour was textbook characteristic of an alcoholic personality. When I read Dr. Janet Woititz’s book, ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS, it totally blew me away, because it was as if Dr. Jan had documented my own childhood experiences, and also because I pegged all 14 points (except for #8) on the Laundry List!!
Sadly, I must admit that in my own brokenness, I too have dished out a lot of bad karma. Hurt people hurt people. The cycle has got to end.
LikeLike
Welcome. Glad you are on the journey to recovery.
LikeLike
hi, i really really appreciate the excellent information you share here. thank you for all of it.
i however am confused about why there are so many acronyms? are acronyms how you process information best? are they your own? i have never seen them in the ACoA text.
LikeLike
Thank you for writing. Yes – acronyms are just my shortcut to endless repetition, since I use the same terms over & over. 🙂
LikeLike
Hi, Donna, I recently started following your blog. I love it; you’ve done well. I was constantly returning to the acronym page. Today I copied and pasted into a spreadsheet and printed a cheat sheet to look at while I read. I am sure I will eventually learn the acronyms but until then the list will help.
Thanks again for teaching us about this. I am finding it painful, but liberating.
LikeLike
Thanks for following the blog, & for making the effort.
LikeLike