MBTI : INTROVERT Children

PREVIOUS:
Parental Dos & Don’ts

SITEs: Why introverted kids are awesome

• MBTI – 16 Types of MOMS

 

TELL your INTROVERT CHILD their special ways are normal:

You know yourself
Because you like to spend time alone & enjoy your own thoughts, you know a lot about yourself, & how different things can make you feel. Figuring out who you are & what matters to you is a great way to use all you traits to help you grow & develop your talents

You have amazing ideas
Taking the time to be quiet & listen to your inner voice, you end up with lots of interesting ideas that can eventually turn into great discoveries, products & careers. Like Bill Gates, J.K.Rowling, Emma Watson, Rosa Parks, Christina Aguilera…. Keep listening to yourself, and keep thinking!

You’re careful & discriminating
Sometimes it pays off to take risks, but you know it;s smart to ‘looking before you leap’ into something. In fact, because information takes a longer journey through an introvert’s brain – than Es – it’s normal for you to hang back a little & study new situations before deciding to participate, which gives you the chance to make better choices

You’re observant
You like to think about all kinds of things, which includes noticing & investigating what’s going on around you. Introverts think everything through thoroughly, creating pictures in their mind, which helps them vividly remember events & details. This makes you awesome at recalling your own stories & other people’s as well

You’re reliable
Chances are, even if they don’t always show it, the adults in your life know you’re dependable, which gives them confidence in you. They value & depend on your being trustworthy. Being organized makes it easier to keeping your promises & plans, especially since you think carefully about your actions before you do something

You’re a great reader & writer
It natural for Introverts (Is) to love reading as part of their quiet, alone time. And the more you read, the better you can write. Reading gives you inspiration for ideas & a better use of language, which you can show off in your imaginative & well-thought-out writing.

Being forced to write fast or in a short time is not your thing – you like to have space to think about the plot, the characters, locations & problems in the story you have to iron out. Isaac Asimov, author of I, Robot once said, “Writing to me is simply thinking through my fingers.”

You’re a talented problem solver
You have larger, thicker gray matter in your prefrontal cortex than your extroverted peers – that command center in your brain responsible for complex problem solving, information processing & decision-making.  Your brain is literally built to ponder. So when facing a challenge, you thrive on brain-power to work out solutions.

You make a great leader
This one may surprise you – you have wonderful leadership qualities which you can develop as you mature. Introverts project calmness in times of crises, think before they speak, & ask great questions – all the marks of an effective leader & doer

You’re peaceful
Introverts are rarely bullies, because they’d rather figuring out how to explain their point of view than picking a fight. Because you have a calming effect on  others, you can usually solve conflicts by talking it out, rather than getting physical. That doesn’t mean you don’t get excited sometimes, but you don’t get crazy, especially in tough situations

You’re fair
You are a terrific listener, & want to hear everyone’s point of view before deciding what you think about a situation. People love to have a friend who’ll will carefully evaluate what they’re saying & give fair opinions. You’re great at paying attention with your whole brain, not just the ears

You have deep friendships
You may feel overwhelmed or tired at a big, noisy party, but you love spending time with very close friends. Because you care deeply, are loyal, & have great ideas, you making close, even lifelong friends. This one of the great rewards of introversion. (Song...)

NEXT: Difficult People – intro

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MBTI : PARENTING Your ‘I’ Child – DOs & Don’ts

PREVIOUS: Growth #3

SITEs : How to Raise an Introverted Child” 

• “So Your Child is an Introvert”

15 ways to better parent your Introvert

Mistakes parents make with an introvert child


PARENTS

to DO: Some time each day should be set aside for the child to not have to deal with anyone else or have to interact at all.
They don’t like small talk (especially with strangers). This isn’t shyness.
It means they:
1) want to skip meaningless chit-chat & stick to the important stuff
2) like to form a safe connection first – to trust that they’ll be listen to, understood, & be taken seriously. This cautiousness is too often mis-interpreted – but is only appropriate shyness if the adults aren’t safe

DON’T: Insist that the child has talk as soon as you notice a problem or stressful situation. They won’t be able to clarify their thoughts until they’ve had time to sort thru what’s bothering them, maybe during a quiet car ride, or an hour climbing trees. Only then is it OK to ask something like – “How was your day at school?”

PARENTS
to DO: If you want your child to form a valuable connection with anyone new, start by being their ‘bridge’ instead of pushing them together & expecting things to take off ‘naturally’. That only works with Es, & even then not always. Then if the child feels safe, they’ll be more willing to connect, if allowed time & space
DON’T: Announce your I child as being shy (a form of shaming), or make them ‘perform’ chit-chat, which would be fake & create stress

• Because they process thoughts & emotions internally, it can be hard for parents to know what their I is feeling. Is take in stimuli, hold them & toss them around for a while to decide what they think, how they feel & want to respond. When too much emotional turmoil builds up, & the child feels flooded, it can erupt as a ‘random’ or mis-directed outburst

• Comparing: the E child takes in stimuli, turning the energy right back out at the world. A disagreement with a friend? Loud angry words go ‘right back at’cha’. An exciting ride at the fair? Boisterous chatter, laughter, shouting. Enjoying a great movie? Exited reactions & commentary throughout. NOT like an I.

PARENTS
to DO: Make the effort to learn what your child is thinking & feeling. To help them communicate – when they’re ready – give them outlets like journaling, art projects or lots of time for free play with stories, imaginary characters or toys (pounding nails into a block of wood…). It’s also important to give them several possible words to choose from.

DON’T: Assume that because they’re is not having an outburst that they’re “fine.”! Tantrums are simply the last straw for an I. If that does happen, be totally accepting & available to listen thoughtfully. If they’re having trouble finding words, see if they’ll draw what’s going on, show it with dolls, toy soldiers, or make up a song, a rhyme…..

• They prefer single play dates to play groups, which is a balance against their need to be alone. One-on-one encounters allow kids to get to know each other more easily, & more deeply, which Is crave. This is generally true for most children, but imperative for inner-oriented ones.

PARENTS
to DO: Help your I child develop a few close friendships rather than a variety of ‘light’ ones. Keep birthday parties small & intimate.
DON’T: Equate happiness with being a social butterfly. The more people they have to deal with, the thinner they have to spread themselves. That makes it harder to enjoy time with others, or to process it all.

• They enjoy activities that let their minds wander. Any opportunity to think, pretend, get creative, solve problems, day-dream or otherwise stay in their head is welcome & beneficial. Great introvert activities:
— biking, climbing trees, fishing, gardening, hiking, jumping rope, learning an instrument, on a swing, painting, play dough, puzzles, construction, playing catch, reading, skating, sketching, swimming, writing….

PARENTS
to DO: Support & encourage your child’s natural interests. Notice anything they want to do or know about – if it’s safe & healthy!
DON’T: Force them to participate in group activities you think will ‘improve’ social skills or teamwork. While sports do have a lot of value, not participating isn’t a negative. There are many other ways for children to assert talents, learn new skills, & develop strengths.

3 MBTI MOMS – & their gemstones)

NEXT: Introvert child

GROWTH for INTROVERTS (Part 3)

PREVIOUS: Growth #2

SITEs: 56 Best Jobs for Introverts, by sub-type

BOOKs: The Highly Sensitive Person ~ Elaine Aron
The Biological Basis of Personality ~Hans J. Eysenck

HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS (cont.)

Adopt a “growth mindset”
It’s the positive belief that you can get better at your chosen activities, rather than that your abilities are limited & ‘fixed’, so : “I can get better at networking.” There’s lots of research that shows people with a growth mindset are more successful. Recognize you don’t always need to be outstanding at everything, only use the knowledge you have & persevere. “Progress not Perfection” !! (More….)

Find ways to function well in the world that doesn’t require acting like an E.
You can collaborate with others in ways that don’t over-stimulate you. Take your time to reflect & digest, accepting your need to mull things over for a long time before taking action. Understand yourself well enough so you know when it’s best to go with your natural tendency, & times when it’s best to (temporarily) override it.

EXP: DO something you’ve been wanting to for a while, rather than thinking some more. Procrastination may be insecurity, or worry about future performance & social pressures that can come with success. Instead of obsessing about potential problems, consider all the possible wonderful outcomes. It’ll be okay if you “Just do it, but do it gently”. (Review BIS)

Plan ahead to rest after an event
Too often, Is get sucked in to over-dong social events, to please family & friends – who are mostly Es! In the after-math of exhaustion you may decide to stay home from now on.
Instead, it would be better to not isolate by setting a preferred time-limit on group activities. Let people know what you need – & stick to it. If you think they’ll be hurt or judge you for leaving early, explain what it means to be an I, & then take care of yourself.
Always PLAN ahead for down-time after each event to recharge your batteries.

Go beyond your Comfort Zone
Naturally, you’ll be able to connect with others more easily when doing something you enjoy. However, Is are often criticized for sticking to ‘boring’ activities (lectures, book groups, quiet dinners….). While these are actually great ways to meet like-minded people, it’s okay to go a little out of your comfort zone as well, by trying different kinds of events, as well as the way you interact.

At any large event where you don’t know everyone, you’re natural tendency is to hang back & just listen, rather than including yourself in conversations. You have a lot to say – take a small risk & add something you know about, or ask an interesting question. You may connect with someone as interesting as yourself!

Practice Small Talk
Is often think small talk incredibly useless, even tiring. Their mind & emotions work differently, preferring to stick to ‘big’ concepts & ideas. That’s okay, but small talk is a part of  greasing the wheels of social interactions. Most people are not ready or willing to ‘go deep’ at first or second meeting – which is appropriate. It take time to get to know others, & that takes sharing ‘light’ interests first – to find compatibilities, & where you’re human like everyone else. If you do get along, then you can have the kinds of conversations you enjoy.

Quality vs Quantity
Es tend to judge Is by the number of friends they have, but Is truly prefer spending quality time with one or two close ones. Their friendships have a different quality than that of most Es.  Uninformed people try to push Is into getting “out there more”, which adds to the unfair treatment & pain they grew up with. If you feel okay with the number of friends you have, ignore well-meaning people who will make you feel bad.  There’s no right or wrong, only individual preferences.

NEXT: Parenting – Dos & Don’ts

GROWTH for INTROVERTS (Part 2)


PREVIOUS: Growth #1

SITE: 6 Things Every Extrovert Secretly Has To Deal With,
An Extrovert’s Lament, An Introvert’s Response’ ~ Sophia Dembling
•  7 things Introverts should know about Extroverts’ & vice-versa

 


HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS (cont.)
Accept being “slow to warm”
This is a temperament style, expressed as:
– standing back to get a read on social situations before participating
– being a little suspicious of new people, getting to know them rather than automatically trusting
– your warmth & friendliness are mainly for people you know & trust

Identify anything which over-stimulates you. Once you know what drains you, avoid or minimize exposure, or find ways work around them:
• Severely irritated by loud commercials
• Huge store with too many option (‘Bed, Bath & Beyond‘)
• Interrupted to make a decision when trying to concentrate
• Too many emails, social media posts…..
• Forced to go in & out of social mode too often (work projects vs meetings)
• Stadiums or concert halls full of screaming, clapping extroverts
• Too many people on the sidewalk you’re trying to navigate

• Noisy family gatherings….
Learning physiological & emotional self-regulation strategies will help to recover quickly after being stressed. (Resilience posts) // (14 Stress relief tips)

Accept unpleasant but constructive feedback
No matter which type you are, it’s not healthy to absorb everyone’s arbitrary reactions, since most have noting to do with you & some are just mean. However, very sensitive people with lower self-esteem are afraid to hear anything other than positive comments, limiting their growth options.

However, if you have good friends, & they accept you fully, they can be the safest people to help identify any problems they see in your thinking or actions, & offer solutions. They want you to be the best you can, so evaluate their info, & if it suits you – use it to your benefit

Take time to recover from disappointments
All of life includes setbacks from time to time, & this includes the path to success. When things don’t work out as expected or you would like, as a positive Introvert you can be patient & fair to yourself. First take the time to get over the frustration, anger & sadness. Then you can assess what happened – what’s your responsibility & what’s not, without self-recrimination

Accept ‘non-reward’ outcomes
It can be things like delays that require patience, or sometimes it’s about getting no response at all – to a text, a call, a biz proposal ….. Understand that not getting what you want – right away, or at all – is not punishment, & do NOT take them as personal rejections. Other people may be away, busy, ignorant or just jerks. And in business, some won’t know how or can’t use what you’re offering

Remember that ‘Delay is OK” & “Man’s rejection is God’s protection”
(Tips for Not Personalizing Rejection)

Ask an Extrovert to explain their world
Understanding Es can allow you to interact with them better (when it’s important to you) – even though it’s not always your preferred type to spend time with.

EXP
: Extroverts reach out to the world & look for feedback. Is appreciate positive comments, like on a blog or FB, but trying to connect feels exhausting so they don’t usually bother. Work on developing personal strategies that don’t tax you, but allow for positive relationships

Be open to other people’s ideas
Is have a very active internal world, with some great ideas. Since you’re already busy processing a lot, getting external ones (especially unsolicited) may easily be too much, which can make you cranky.
By understanding & accepting the need to limit your energy drain, you can pay attention to feeling put-upon, & set a boundary by waiting until you feel OK before responding.
You can always explain your style, so you can still listen to others (which Is are good at anyway), but only when you’re ready. You never know – their comments & insights may be useful, or at least interesting

NEXT: Growth #3

GROWTH for INTROVERTS (Part 1)

PREVIOUS: INFJ

SITEs: MBTI Types as animals, some famous people, + Cognitive Functions

Life of an Introvert – illustrated (heart map)

Are an E or an I?

 

 

I-ness = Introversion

HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS (modified from Dr Alice Boyes)
Get to know your BIS (Behavioral Inhibition System)
BIS is a brain-based system that prevents a person from moving forward when they have competing needs (achieve success while avoiding all negative outcomes), or conflicting motivations (pleasing a parent vs. pleasing oneself).

• People with a strong BIS tend to be highly anxious – worried about real or potential ‘punishment’ – which can include negative responses (criticism) or something positive taken away (loss of solitude)…… When faced with an internal dilemma, a strong ‘stop’ signal will kick in, OR they may start & then stop – unable to finish.

• Introverts (Is) with a particularly sensitive BIS can stay alert for punishment signals (being judged, ignored, disappointed….) & fend them off before getting run over by their BIS. Look for & accept rewarding opportunities in your daily life (complements, encouragement, praise, a raise…..) & learn to get as much of them as possible. (See post “Resilience – Traits : Positivity ratio“)

Accept & appreciate your Temperament
DEF: Personality is the whole person, & temperament is the basic force that drives a person to behave in certain ways, unique to them.

Introversion is neither a virtue nor flaw – just a natural part of ones personality. Many Is grow up being shamed by family & peers for being ‘different’, leaving them feeling ashamed for being ‘less-than’. That belief can now be corrected. (CHART….)

EXP: It’s normal for Is to be cautious about starting new relationships.
BUT, if you’re also brain-wired or been trained in childhood – to assume negatives first – it’ll slow connections even more. Work on looking for positive opportunities & risk reaching out once you’ve spent a little time observing how someone talks & acts. Trust your instincts.

EXP: It’s normal for Is to be focus inward – on being creative, paying attention to details & knowing things in depth.
BUT if you are also highly ambitious with a strong independent streak, you can become an entrepreneur, create a new product, fight inequality or ‘city hall’….
Identify long-term interests & passions, pursue them & self-correct when necessary. Explain your temperament when you need to, so others can understand your responses. (9 childhood aspects of temperament – some relating to I-ness)

Identify emotions
Is need time to process emotions privately, but also to share them with someone trustworthy. Learn to identify Emotions so you know when you’re experiencing them (no denial). Give yourself permission to experience them all, without judgment, finding healthy ways to handle them internally & then express them safely.

• You can experience emotions without violating your values, & continue pursuing your goals (actions), no matter what your feelings are (emotions). Being able to managing them well can let you do hard things when others might cop out

Know your I variation
<—– Introverts (& Es too) come in different ‘natural flavors’, as well as the way the 4 MBTI levels combine, in different proportions & orders of preference for each Type —–>
EXP: The order of preference for an ISTJ if their ‘stack’, based on the 2 middle levels, from strongest to least ‘natural’ (More….)
And be sure you know the difference between I-ness & insecurity. Confident people are: comfortable with their traits & abilities,  knowing they’re generally liked – which has nothing to do with being E or I

Identify Cognitive Distortions (CDs)
Is are just as susceptible to distorted thinking as Es, which has nothing to do with temperament. If you’re prone to be emotionally flooded because of CDs, such as B & W thinking, personalizing, catastrophizing, over-generalizing…..you can be held back in life. Learn about them, notice when they crop us, & then correct them, a little at a time

NEXT: I Growth (#2)

MBTI Type – INFJ

   PREVIOUS: INFP

 

 

The INTROVERTS

👠 👠 👠

INFJThe PROTECTOR/ Confidant / Counselor
Introvert-iNtuitive-Feeling-Judging

❤︎ Most Contemplative, reflective

(1.5% world-wide) (1.3% ♂︎  // 1.6% ♀︎)  The Perfectionistic humanitarian // Muse

NATURAL: An inspiration to others
GOAL: to Analyze.

INFJs are sensitive, original & quietly forceful, more likely to be individualistic, rather than a leader or follower. They’re able to develop a clear vision of how to best serve the common good, then are organized and decisive in how they choose to implement this vision, tending to stick to things until they’re done.

They’re conscientious, with a well-developed value systems which they’re strictly committed to, & are well-respected for their perseverance in doing the right thing.

They’re curious to understand other people’s motives, & generally have great insight into them.They look for meaning in the connections between people, ideas & things.  INFJs are idealistic, wanting to inspiring others, who often try to find a shared vision for everyone & come up with new ways to achieve the vision.  (More…)

They’re : anxious, compassionate, complicated, creative, empathetic, idealistic, introspective, an eloquent speaker/ writer, quietly caring, paradoxical, patient, sensitive, a visionary, understanding

Hidden side : While their NF ‘righteousness’ usually compels them to be open & honest, they can be surprisingly clever & manipulative, from a knack for knowing what people want (& don’t want) to hear. They’re masters at keeping their friends close & enemies closer.

They’re the most cerebral of the Feeling types. So while many INFJs are spiritual, their aptitude for coming to conclusions with little or no evidence doesn’t come from any mystical source. Instead it’s from a constant but unconscious analysis of tiny details that most others completely miss, & which they themselves have trouble explaining

• Life’s Purpose : To guide those who are lost.
• Their Law : You shall always listen to my advice.
• They Comfort others by saying: It’s not your fault, you don’t deserve to feel this way.

• They Say : . These rules don’t benefit me, so I’m making up my own. I want to see my ideas be accepted & applied.  ….it’s fine.
Catchphrase : Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Communication : Advice – We don’t need to talk about every emotion. They won’t start the conversation. They’ll just watch you, from afar

Weaknesses : Extremely private, over-doing sensory activities, convinced they’re right even when evidence proves otherwise, too quiet,
Manipulate : Secretly meddle in your affairs because they know what’s best for you – more than you do

Paradoxes : Confident AND overbearing. Help everyone else BUT can’t help themselves. Strong BUT fragile
Value: soul mates       • Fear : of being hated

Judge people by: their selfishness
Are Judged for : making others feel that their emotions are invalid

Become STRESSED from situations shown in illustration.  They either go all adrenaline rush or total paralysis

Under stress (Melancholy-Phlegmatic) INFJs tend to withdraw from reality into a fantasy world, which gradually gains importance as they become dissatisfied with their real life & the people in it.
While fulfilling the demands of their outer commitments, they’re secretly critical, the feel that their imaginary world & its characters are more important than the anything real.

In these circumstances they’ll feel physically stressed & intensely angry, with an obsessive focus on certain details and a tendency to over-indulge.

They can end up living almost exclusively in their imagination, resist reality with a defensive attitude, feeling like a misfit. They’ll spend enormous amounts of time falling into their deepest hidden fantasies & emotions. In this state, they might be attracted to seriously defective people & environments which they’re convinced will truly understand & appreciate them

Hate : being forced, being misunderstood, unfairness, surrounded by conflict, pretentious people, anyone intentionally limited, going to funerals, being so effected by someone flirting with them, asking for help because it make them feel like they’re burdening others

Don’t argue with an INFJ while they’re holding : a grudge
Never : antagonize them   • Never tell them : “You’ll never do anything meaningful with your life”

GROWTH
Advice : What you think is good for someone isn’t necessarily what they actually need.

INFJs may come across as too individualistic (“different”), private or mysterious, doing their thinking in a vacuum, which results in unrealistic ideas that are hard to verbalize

INFJs ican best help themselves by finding a way to bring their artistic vision & intuitive insights to light. By learning to express their rich imagination in a way that others can understand & appreciate, they become psychologically liberated, as well as integrated into the world. Artistic pursuits bring a great benefit to INFJs, offering an appropriate outlet for their deep emotions

INFJ Relationships
YOU : have a gift to intuitively understand human relationships & complex meanings, as well as emphatically understanding partner’s emotions. Others see you as mysterious since they you tend to share you internal intuitions only with those you truly trust. Your relationship superpower is Sensitivity.

Thrive in any that are: complex & intellectually challenging

• As a friend, you’re always to one reading a book, or listening to everyone’s problems, the one who needs a week ahead of a hang-out to mentally prepare – & then spend all the ‘fun’ time discussing the Universe & meaning of life

Annoyed when: someone acts like you emotions are invalid

INFJ Parent / child of INFJ parent, INFJ child  (ALSO….)

Still single because : you’re tailor-made for the ‘friend-zone’
Unhealthy behavior : stalking your S.O.’s social media at 3am

Show interest by: hiding it – they won’t know & never will!
Show love : empathize, are understanding, offer emotional & moral support

• You want to hear : I’m here for you
• You’re attractive/sexy because : being naturally refined & elegant, you have a peaceful presence, mysterious & wise. People want to get into you head & know what you know

• You should date : someone who cares about you as much as you care about them, will never take you for granted, lets you be yourself even if they don’t get you completely, who you can trust, & will never intentionally hurt you

To attract you : they need to be one big walking paradox. They should look deep into your eyes & say “I need you” to help figure themselves out (Your turn-on)

• Some famous INFJ: Shirley Temple Black, Martin Luther King, Jr, Nelson Mandela, Tom Selleck, Billy Crystal, Mark Harmon

NEXT: Introvert Growth #1

MBTI Type – INFP

 

PREVIOUS: INTJ

SITE:  Many fun lists of ‘names’ for the 16 types  ++ other info

 

The INTROVERTS

👠 👠 👠

INFP – The HEALER / Clarifier / Harmonizer
Introvert-iNtuitive-Feeling-Perceiving

❤︎ Most Idealistic

(4.4% world-wide) (4.1% ♂︎ //  4.6% ♀︎) The Angsty poet

NATURAL: Performing noble service to aid society
GOAL: to Dream.

INFPs are reflective & idealistic, interested in serving humanity, with a well-developed, strongly-held value system which they strive to live up to. They’re adaptable & laid-back unless those values are threatened.

Being highly intuitive about people, they enjoy helping others’ inner development to reach their full potential, & are extremely loyal to people who are important to them.
Mentally quick, able to see possibilities, they like coming up with creative solutions to problems. Usually excellent writers.

Their polite, reserved exterior can make them hard to know – at first. However they do enjoy conversation, taking particular delight in the unusual. When in a sociable mood, their humor & charm shine through. Disposed to like people & avoid conflict, they tend to make pleasant company. (More….)

They’re : contained, creative, flexible, full of wonder, have strong personal values, imaginative, intense, non-directive, opinionated, quirky, reflective, reserved with people, seek inner order & peace

Hidden side : Often regarded as frivolous daydreamers, they can be shockingly practical, seeing the value of using time & resources wisely. So they have no time for anything that’s irrelevant to their causes, projects or ideals. In a society where E-J behavior is the norm, INFPs are just as busy & functional, but their motivation is internal, & projects are usually personal, not social.

They’re not as pleasant as most sites claim. Many INFPs are harshly judgmental towards people & things they experience as violating their values. Though they usually don’t say anything, they’ll easily ignore anyone who doesn’t meet their standards – without giving it a second thought or consider the real reasons others have for their position.

• Life’s Purpose : Heal those who are hurting
• Their Law : You shall always love yourself
• They Comfort others by saying: You’ve got so much potential, just keep your head up!

• They Say : I’m completely unaware that rules exist, & (I’m worried about) don’t know why everyone seems so stressed. Why can’t everyone just get along??!!
Catchphrase : It’s better travel hopefully than to arrive

Communication : Advice – Stop talking about bumblebeesupercumberwho….. They probably won’t start a conversation unless you share their interest – or, unless they’re sure you want to talk to them specifically

Weaknesses : Too idealistic, loss of confidence, martyr attitude, can’t decide what they want,
Manipulate : show high moral standards AND are a proudly victimized emo, timid BUT brave

Paradoxes : Detached dreamer AND hyper-emotional. Tons of dreams BUT no practical realization
Value:       • Fear : of a life without harmony

Judge people by: their values
Are Judged for : seeming to be fake

Become STRESSED from situations shown in illustration. They diligently ignore a problem until it’s too big to manage

Under stress (pure Sanguine or Supine) INFPs usually dislike conflict & trend to be passive-aggressive when experiencing frustration or dissatisfaction. They’re deeply dedicated to being their ‘true self’, in the extreme avoiding anyone or anything that doesn’t fit in with their inner value system, becoming intolerant a& hard to please.

In these circumstances they’ll be cynical, depressed, aggressive & prone to acute self-doubt. As stress increases, they can get extremely whimsical & stubborn, insisting on acting on feelings, while ignoring the logical implications & consequences of their actions. Also, they’re inclined to use their self-focus as a standard for all relationships & situations in their lives, sticking only to what reinforces their self-image, & reject everything else

Hate : stereotypes, feeling overwhelmed, sneaky-amoral-manipulative thinking, being left by a loved one, conflict, feeling invalidated, lack of imagination, having to be too logical & objective, debates that don’t include social justice,  asking for help because they want to do it their way

Don’t argue with an INFP while they’re holding : you hostage
Never :  trap them   • Never tell them : “What you just said doesn’t matter”

GROWTH
Advice : Just act on your passion – nothing’s an excuse unless you make it so.

INFPs may struggle to speak up in meetings, leading others to assume they don’t care or have nothing to contribute, which makes it hard to convince others of the value of their ideas.

INFPs can help themselves by accepting they don’t need to resist or fight reality to fulfill their unique vision. Instead, it’s better to accept things as they really are & take advantage of opportunities to build the life they dream of. They need to learn to see all the possibilities without trying to filter them as right or wrong – living in reality instead of trying to change it or ignore it.

INFP Relationships
YOU : tends to be selective & reserved about sharing your deepest feelings & values, which can sometimes make you hard to understand. You’re seen by family & friends as sensitive and introspective. Your relationship superpower is Support.

Thrive in any that are: deeply romantic & intimate

• As a friend, you the super quiet one in a group, but crazy with 1 or 2 good friends, always deep & introspective, who’ll listen to someone all day or all night. And when you do give advice, it’s totally on point, like you’re channeling  the person’s inner self

Annoyed with: anyone you think is a fake

INFP Parent / child of INFP parent, INFP child   (ALSO….)

Still single because : you’re the ‘friend’ type
Unhealthy behavior : say ‘I love you’ on the first date

Show interest : you’re confusing & slow. By the time they figure it out, you’ll like someone else
Show love by : coordinating their needs, offer analysis, advice & help

• You want to hear : I believe in you
• You’re attractive/sexy because : you’re full of romance, feel so deeply & passionately. You seem so vulnerable, off in a dream world, & people wish they could be there with you

• You should date : someone who keep you grounded, show you reality, can be your anchor, is completely dependable, can protect you if needed, but also show how to protect yourself, help you modify expectations, & always works to impress you

To attract you : they have to act like they have a deep broody secret they’re too guarded to let out. Then you won’t eat or sleep until you’ve gotten thru their wall (Your turn-on)

• Some famous  INFP: Helen Keller, Carl Rogers, Dick Clark, Neil Diamond, James Taylor, JFK, Lisa Kudrow, Scott Bakula

NEXT: INFJ