SITE: ‘Styles of Worshippreferences by MBTI dichotomy categories

BOOK:Personality type in Congregations




ENFP – The INSPIRER / Motivator / Cause promoter
Most OPTIMISTIC –  “Happy procrastinator”
• 9.7% females 6.4% males

GOAL: To create. ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic, bright & full of potential.  They’re imaginative, consider life as full of possibilities, excited by new ideas.
Their energy is stimulated by new people & experiences. The life of the party, they have great people skills – wanting harmony with others, & have a need to live by their inner values.

They’re open-minded & flexible, with a broad range of interests, & do well at whatever interests them. They quickly see connections between information & events, able to move forward with confidence based on what they see.  Going quickly from one project to another, they’re willing to consider almost any possibility, often developing multiple solutions to a problem. They’re better at starting than finishing, bored with details.

They’re: creative, energetic, enthusiastic, expressive, friendly, gentle, idealistic, innovative, quirky, people-oriented, scattered, thoughtful, upbeat. And they’re not all bubbly klutzes.

Hidden Side
They may be Es, but not typically outgoing because their Fi (Introverted Feeling – in their stack) prevents them from wanting to over-extend themselves emotionally. Their extroversion shows up more in exploring various interests, & by gathering external info, & interpret it by figuring out how different pieces connect. While they almost always have an unconventional senses of humor, they’re not necessarily ‘goofballs’  – because  they take their moral causes, values & social relationships very seriously.  This intensity can be seen any time these topics are brought to the ENFP’s attention. (much MORE re. stacks in future posts)

Life’s Purpose: Inspire those who have given up
• Their Law: You shall always follow your heart
• They Comfort others by saying: Everything’s going to be alright, girl/man!

• They Say: Oops – I didn’t realize there were rules :). Laughter is the best medicine. Chill! I have a wide range of feelings & many are intense.
• Communication: Will start the conversation & likely direct it. They know what they want to talk about – probably something fun.  They should stop talking about how offended they are.

Weaknesses: Easily stressed, highly emotional, not practical, overly independent, over-think things, too talkative, trouble focusing
Manipulate: They use their ‘gift of gab’ negatively, justify ‘handling’ others emotionally as just being charming, but it’s ok ? because they’re being authentic

Paradoxes: Incredibly open-minded & totally stubborn. Lively & lonely.
Judge people: by their values  • Fear: Being ignored
• Are Judged for: thinking everyone hates them

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration
ENFPs in distress will feel overloaded & overwhelmed by too much to do – heart rate going over 9000! They believe they’re trying to help others by making their lives better, but feel their efforts are unappreciated, & that there are always more expectations or demands on themselves. Then they become overly-emotional, too worried, withdrawn & have tunnel-vision. In such cases, ENFPs are likely to start shirking all responsibilities, forgetting appointments, being late for the deadlines…..

They see other people’s discontent with their unpredictability as a lack of consideration & respect for the ENFP’s rights & priorities. They want to be free to respond to possibilities as they occur, & to change their minds whenever they want. Requests or previous commitments that don’t support their present agenda are felt as unreasonable & limiting, so will be ignored.

• Hate: Being inauthentic & anyone questioning it. Feeling bored, betrayed. Being made to do something simple for hours by a tough authority figure. Their ideas being stolen. Subjective logic & unchallenged beliefs.  Asking for Help, because they’d rather do it their own way
Don’t argue with ENFPs when they’re holding: Their temper
• Never rein them in.   • Never tell them: You’re boring & unoriginal

There’s a line between being charming & emotionally manipulative.
They’re lighting in a bottle, full of inspiration, humor & unfettered ideas – but risk burning out from over-committing or following every possibility.

They can have trouble determining priorities, not good at follow-through on decisions or projects. So each time they have a great idea, it would help to immediately break out a pros & cons list, & be as realistic as possible. No matter how strongly they feel about it, it’s best to weigh the consequences of their actions honestly & logically, because others are counting on them.

ENFPs need to find what will really fulfill them – long term – instead of what’s attractive at the moment. By working to achieve their true ideals & values, they can build a consistent lifestyle that fits who they are, not just as a temporary escape from feeling trapped by life. (LARGE CHART)

ENFP Relationships
You‘re keenly perceptive about people, with a wide range of feelings & as well as intense emotions. Your partners & friends will see you as versatile & enthusiastic

• Thrive in any that are:  passionate & growth oriented (More…)
As a Friend, you’re the gorgeous one who makes sure everyone is having a good time
• Annoyed when: someone thinks you hate them

ENFP Parent, Child of ENFP, ENFP child

• Still single because: you’re too ‘flaky’ to be taken seriously
• Unhealthy behavior: Communicate only with emojis to avoid intimacy

Show interest : Can’t stop smiling (more than usual)
Show Love: You cheer them up, boost their confidence, help brighten their outlook on life
• You want to hear: I feel you

• You’re attractive/sexy because: radiate charm & positivity. Your youthful need for adventure & possibilities are contagious, making you magnetic & sensational
<—-  Why these 2 types are compatible

• You should DATE someone who: will beat you at your own game & keep your interested. Someone you can depend on, but doesn’t give in when you’re in a mood to be demanding. Someone who can bring excitement, but show you that relaxing can also be fun.

• To attract you someone needs to: flirt with you once & then act completely uninterested. You love a challenge!

• Some Famous ENFPs: Carol Burnett, Dom Deloiuse, Buster Keaton, Regis Philbin, Hayden, Mark Twain, Dr. Seuss, Robin Williams








SITE: How to attract each MBTI type



ENTJ – The EXECUTIVE / Chief / Mobilizer

Most COMMANDING  – “World dominator”
2.7% males, 0.9% females

GOAL: To strategize.  
ENTJs are assertive, decisive, outspoken & straightforward. They’re driven to be in charge, readily stepping into leadership roles, & express their ideas forcefully. They value knowledge & competence, with little patience for inefficiency or disorganization. Intelligent & well-informed, they usually excel at public speaking.

They’re career-focused, & live in a world of possibilities, viewing problems as challenges to overcome.  Excellent at understanding difficult organizational problems, they can create solid solutions.  Because they see the big picture & think strategically about the future, they can efficiently mobilize people & resources to meet long-term goals.
Although not naturally tuned into others’ feelings, they can a have strong sentimental streaks.

They’re: authoritative, calculated, challenging, efficient, intense, questioning, strong, strategic, structured.  But not all are bossy & narcissists.

Hidden Side
ENTJs fiercely value free will, but usually aren’t stubborn. If they eventually learn the worth of something they’ve been resisting, they can do a complete 180. Because they carefully analyze situations, this shift can happen more often than not. They’re more aesthetically oriented than other T types, even quite whimsical – although not always visible.
While they can seem cold, they’ll quickly defrost for a cause, or by something they relate to. They can care deeply about misunderstood people & things, urging others to consider relevant facts & circumstances that will eliminate biases. While they’re very independent thinkers, they usually don’t mind (may even prefer) helping & being helped, because of their keen understanding of everyone’s limitations.

Life’s Purpose: Thrive in the impossible
• Their Law: You shall always obey my orders!
• They Comfort others by saying: You don’t have to be sad – we’ll get ice cream or something

• They Say: I make the rules. I’m in charge here! You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. I know how to be tough when the situation calls for it
Communication:  They’ll start the conversation if you catch their eye, but you may be doing something they don’t like, so be prepared to run.  They should stop talking about world domination.

Weaknesses:  Arrogant, cold, controlling, dominant, impatient, intolerant, ruthless, stubborn, deny & mishandle emotions
Manipulate: Make others seem less-than with their holier-than-thou attitude, & treating everyone like pawns in their personal life-game

Paradoxes: Leader & stubborn. They’re good at organizing others, & their plan is always better than yours.
Judge people: by their competence  • Fear: Of intimacy
• Are Judged for: not being competent at life

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration
ENTJs believe the source of their distress is totally outside themselves, so they’re quick to blames others for their problems. They see people as needy & illogical, & systems or organizations as inefficient & hindering. They think everything & everyone is holding them back, afraid of being crushed underfoot, so they feel compelled to take matters into their own hands & set things right.

This makes them controlling, stubborn & insensitive to the delicate human element – which includes people’s emotions, ideals & limitations. Feeling increasingly stuck in a frustrating situation, ENTJs will feel out of control & act on visceral impulses – such as physical & verbal violence, manipulation, sexual addiction….

• Hate: Being wrong, close-mindedness, failure, immaturity, not being listened to, people who are ignorant or won’t work together, having to handle something with kid gloves. Someone getting into a position of power over them & then be really dumb. Asking for Help, because they’d rather do it their way

Don’t argue with ENTJs when they’re holding: you in high respect
• Never ignore them. • Never tell them: I want you to redo everything – this just isn’t good enough.

There’s more to ‘stupid people’ than you think.
ENTJs live in the dog-eat-dog world (often of their own choosing), driving themselves strongly, so they unfairly expect the same from others, intimidate people with their take-charge attitude.
They often overlook the contributions of others, ignoring the emotional needs of the people who implement their plans. To soften their harshness, they need to cultivate a confidant or small group of trusted supporters.
Also, playing games with their personal life is a waste of precious time. Finding the right mate may not be easy, but worth the effort. Until then, it would benefit them to get involved in something altruistic or ‘spiritual’ – to cultivate empathy & patience.

ENTJs need to accept that life’s imperfections & everyone’s subjective experiences (emotions) – are normal & natural. Logic is not the answer to everything, so insisting on it only forms an irrational, distorted worldview, causing frustration & disappointment.

ENTJ Relationships (More….)
You enjoy & are energized by stimulating interactions with people. You’re seen by your partners & friends as decisive & fair

• Thrive in any that have: Shared long-term goals  (More…)
• As a Friend, you’re the who’s always commenting on everything everyone does  • Annoyed when: someone’s not very good at ‘life’

ENTJ parent, child of ENTJ, ENTJ child

• Still single because: you’re too busy building your empire
• Unhealthy behavior: plant a keylogger to track your lover’s texts

Show interest by : Being hyper-critical 😦  (cleverness??)
Show Love : You give time & attention, offer advice & help, help them plan
• You want to hear: I’ll follow you

• You’re attractive/sexy because: you’re usually charismatic, calculating & confident in thought & deed – knowing what you’re doing, & pursue goals without needing to second-guess yourself. It makes others feel safe.

• You should DATE someone who: you can take care of & teach them how to be more practical. But also someone who can keep your ego in check, helps you get in touch with a wider variety of emotions, & can teach you to be more sensitive to other people’s feelings.

• To attract you someone needs to: have a strong character but not stronger than you. Who will assure you that being with them is a low-risk investment that will yield a sizable emotional return.

• Some Famous ENTJs: Presidents FDR & Nixon. Al Gore, Margaret Thatcher.  Harrison Ford, Steve Jobs, Dave Letterman, Whoopi Goldberg, Sigourney Weaver






SITE: ‘How each type handles feeling Ashamed’




ENTP – The VISIONARY / Originator /Debater

Most INVENTIVE  – “Explosions maker ”
• 2.4% females, 4.0% of males

GOAL: To invent.  
ENTP’s are ‘idea people’ – resourceful & mentally quick, good at many things – upbeat visionaries who value knowledge, understanding & possibilities. They can solve problems creatively & in unusual ways, because they see connections & patterns, able to spot & capitalize on new opportunities.

They enjoy developing strategies, but are more interested in generating ideas & options than specific actions. They get excited about new ideas & projects, but tend to neglect more routine parts of life – bore by routine

They like people, & make interesting company, good at reading others, intuitively understanding them & situations. Generally alert, outspoken & assertive, they may be into one-up-manship – fluent conversationalists who enjoy debating issues & lively verbal sparring.

They’re: charming, eccentric, flexible, given to brinkmanship & testing limits, ingenious, innovative, theoretical, undisciplined. They enjoy arguing both sides, loving challenges. And not all want to debate every single thing. (More… )

Hidden Side
ENTPs are probably the least self-aware of all iN types. They seem ‘non-committal’ to people who don’t know them, because they’re already so committed to someone or something that it keeps them from sticking with a new possibility long enough to get anything from it.  A bit like a fish struggling to get away, only to be reeled back in over & over, not realizing it’s attached to a hook. Also, contrary to popular belief, they’re not reckless, even when involved in what seems like reckless activities, since they’re extremely cautious in how they go about it

• Life’s Purpose: Find what’s possible in what seems impossible
• Their Law: You shall always order pizza with double cheese
• They Comfort others by saying: Come on – there’s got to be something that’ll cheer you up!?

• They Say: I’ve figured out that these rules aren’t doing their job – let me explain…. I value adaptability & innovation. All’s fair in love & war – fight me!
Communication: They’ll start the conversation & probably end it if they don’t like the way its going.  They should stop talking too much.

Weaknesses:  Don’t like practical things, hard to focus, insensitive, intolerant, very argumentative, too uncommitted, too unrealistic
Manipulate: Always have a backup of convincing bull— when they’re called out on their convincing bull—.

Paradoxes: Eccentric & narcissistic. Everything planned & nothing solidified.
Judge people: by their ‘smarts’.   • Fear: Not understanding things
• Are Judged for: making others feel stupid

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration.
ENTPs become so focus on possibilities/options, they don’t DO anything. They can get flighty, over-concerned with personal freedom & how other people’s wishes can threaten it. They act impulsively, rationalizing their whims & inability to stick to a project or commitment by saying they’re avoiding entrapment

As internal pressure increases, ENTPs tend to go against or ignore rules, assuming these don’t apply to them. At the same time they unconsciously rely on others to provide them stability & to do the chores they hate.

Interpreting others’ dissatisfaction with them as manipulation, they reject any responsibility, being intolerant & unpredictable. They’ll only doing as they please, refusing to limit their options or follow through with obligations.

• Hate: Growing old. Hiding their power level, ignorance, objective morality, not being listened to, rules. Being written off for being too unorthodox. Anyone being very controlling, ignorant or close-minded. Asking for Help, because they’d rather do it their way

Don’t argue with ENTPs when they’re holding: back their thoughts
• Never dismiss them.  • Never tell them: You shouldn’t always give your opinion, because you’re usually wrong

Just because you can get away with it doesn’t mean you should.
They’re visionaries, but tend to avoid making decisions, & can get excited about grand impractical ideas, undo-able because of limited time or resources.  They challenge others & their ideas too much. They have a way of bringing others in on their vision, but which are unpredictable & unstable.

ENTPs are like a living tornado. While it may be in their nature, everyone they’ve left behind in the wreckage of their adventures – could use an apology.  If unwilling to apologize, the ENTP should tie up loose ends with the people in their life now, letting others know they can be counted on 100% until the end, taking time to show them their appreciation.

ENTPs can change dysfunctional patterns by assuming responsibility for the situations they create & for how they treat toward people they deal with. By acknowledging their importance in the larger scheme of life, they become more focused & self-disciplined, able to inspire others & offer consistent, trustworthy leadership.

ENTP Relationships
You enjoy a good debate, your conversational style can be challenging as well as stimulating. Your partners & friends will see you as energetic & lively, & independent

• Thrive in any that are: Dynamic & constantly evolving (More…)
• As a Friend, you’re the one who has a new hobby or interest every week
• Annoyed when: someone tries to makes you feel stupid

ENTP parent, child of ENTP, ENTP child 

Still single because: you consider trolling a form of flirting
• Unhealthy behavior: Only express emotions through memes (indirectly)

Show interest: try to ‘prove’ you importance by arrogance & arguing
Show Love: You’re attentive to their needs, motivate with fun ideas & activities
• You want to hear: I disagree with you

• You’re attractive/sexy because: you’re charismatic, novel & witty – a flame people are drawn to. You’re usually smooth, knowing how to persuade. & your sharp & piercing humor is a big draw.

• You should DATE someone who: can stand up to your strong will, who has their own clear sense of purpose so you can’t overshadow them. Someone who is always willing to grow, & wants to grow with you.

• To attract you someone needs to: will be able to challenge your ‘logic’ & not fall for your manipulative tactics

• Some Famous ENTPs: Alexander the Great, Presidents – Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt. Julia Child, Rachel Ray, Alfred Hitchcock, George Carlin, Céline Dion, Tom Hanks






SITE: How each MBTI type shows affection





ESFJ – The CAREGIVER / Supporter / Provider

Most HARMONIOUS  – “Popular friend”
• 7.5% males, 16.9% females

ESFJs are generally popular, sociable & outgoing. For example, in High School, they take the spotlight & set the tone, such as cheerleaders & quarterbacks, who help lead their teams to victory & fame. Later in life, ESFJs continue to enjoy supporting friends & loved ones, organizing social gatherings & doing their best to make sure everyone’s happy.

Their clear set of values are related to their external world (family & community) rather than about their inner self. Feeling a strong sense of responsibility & duty, they value tradition & security, with a need for things to be pleasant.

Having a strong desire to be liked, they tend to put the needs of others before their own. They’re interested in serving others, but need positive reinforcement to feel good about themselves. They’re conscientious, good-hearted & cooperative, supportive of others. Gifted at making others feel good about themselves, they understand what people need & appreciated their contributions to society

Re. projects & plans, they take time to collect necessary facts to help them make decisions, & enjoy creating effective procedures. Extremely organized, with a well-developed sense of space & function.

They’re: Accomplished host/hostess, dedicated, empathetic, friendly, gracious, respectful, shallow. They live to please. And not all are gossipy. (More…)

Hidden Side
Usually kind-hearted & well-intended, ESFJs are not warm & fuzzy – because they try to ‘love’ people before they see if they actually like them. Of all the ESxx types, they’re the biggest nerds, & gravitate to Enlightenment Era ideals. They can also be great pranksters, because they’re clever & love to get reactions from people.

Life’s Purpose: Bringing together those who are apart
• Their Law: “You shall always take care of your friends
• They Comfort others by saying: I’m here to help you feel better, so let’s get started

• They Say: I’m loyal to people, institutions & causes I believe in. We’re all fiends here – there’s safety in numbers. I’ve bent over backwards to fulfill all the rules.
• Communication: They’re so friendly & inviting – like a mom-friend – that people love talking with them.  They should stop talking about their sorority or fraternity

Weaknesses: Inflexible, sometimes too needy, reluctant to innovate or improvise, take things too seriously, think they always know what’s right, too selfless, vulnerable to criticism, worried about their social status
Manipulate: To make themselves ‘interesting’, they gossip about the back-story of people they don’t know

Paradoxes: (Un-developed ESFP) Friendly & ‘difficult’. Take ‘5 minutes’ to gather everyone – for a ‘1 minute’ group project
Judge other people: about their selfishness  • Fear: Of isolation
Are judged for: caring too much what others think

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration.
Under stress ESFJs usually keep their inner conflicts & upset out of public view. They’re terrified of being judged or criticized by others, but can be highly intolerant of others’ behaviors they judge as inappropriate. When they feel used & unappreciated, their resentment leads them to rash, thoughtless actions that can damage the very relationships they care so much about.

As frustration increases, they complain, manipulate & go behind people’s backs to make decisions for them – that benefit themselves much more than for the other. They rationalize their insensitive behavior by being convinced their actions are the right ones for solving problems.

• Hate: Being disliked. Insensitivity. Know-it-alls. Lack of community. Selfishness. Anyone who hurts other. People who don’t listen. Asking for Help, because they think they’ll burden others. Someone suggesting a lot or ridiculous ‘novel’ ideas – that obviously won’t work – while the ESFJ is trying to make a plan.

Don’t argue with ESFJs when they’re holding: a Frying pan
• Never: Abandon them.  • Never tell them: This is all your fault

• Advice: 
Remember that what you say about others reflects on who you are.
While ESFJs are good at making friends & being popular, unfortunately many are also prone to gossiping.  When making decisions, they can be overly influenced by what they think others want, & so can have trouble adjusting plans when faced with unexpected changes or opportunities.

They risk being too accepting of -or- deferential to those in charge.
ESFJs can help themselves by accepting that they can be loved for who they are, rather than what they do for others, & that they don’t have to fulfill everyone else’s wishes. They need to define who they are & what they want, apart from how others see them or want them to be.

ESFJ Relationships (More)
Because you‘re highly attuned to your partners’ emotional needs & concerns, mates & friends see you as responsive & persuasive

Thrive in any that are: old-fashion-romantic (More…)
• As a Friend, you’re the one who can be counted on for advice on almost everything.
• Annoyed when: someone won’t go anywhere with you

 ESFJ Parent, child of ESFJ, & ESFJ child

Still single because: You’re still in love with your ex
• Unhealthy behavior: Over-react when your S.O. forgets your anniversary

• Show interest by: Bragging
• Show Love:
You lessen their stress, motivating with affectionate pep talks
• You want to hear: I need you

• You’re attractive/sexy because you’re: warm & generous, have a need for beauty & harmony, creating a haven of light & love, which are sensual & very desirable.

• You should DATE someone who: CAN live without you but doesn’t want to. Who makes you feel appreciated because you care. Who doesn’t NEED you, so you can focus on our own needs as well.

• To attract you, someone has to: Be popular in their circle of friends, so they can tell everyone you sometimes forget lunch or the need for sleep. Then everyone will be desperate to be the one who’s taking care of you. 

• Some Famous ESFJs: Pres. Bill Clinton, Prince William, Martha Stewart, Barbara Walters, Sally Field, Mary Tyler Moore, Terry Bradshaw, Dr. McCoy of Star Trek






SITE:  R & L brain horse types

“Horsenalities” – using Types to identify horse temperaments



ESFP – The PERFORMER / Entertainer / Demonstrator

Most GREGARIOUS  – “Dramatic spotlight”
• 10.1% females, 6.9% males

GOAL: To conquer. 
ESFPs are Active Types who live in a world of possibilities, drawn to new experiences, since they view the world as a stage.  They’re playful & love being the center of attention. Excellent team players, they’re focused on completing tasks with the most fun & least discord. Traditional schoolwork can be hard, since they don’t like theory or impersonal analysis, but will do well when a subject interests them, or when they see its practical relevance.

ESFPs love to talk to people & about people (endlessly), & are some of the most colorful storytellers. But annoyingly they can jump from thought to thought in mid-sentence. And they love anything / everything new.

They’re also interested in being of service, great at working together with others to get things done, making things more pleasurable for others by their own enjoyment. They have well-developed common sense & practicality (S). They’re often in the role of peacemaker because of their warm, sympathetic & tactful nature. Rarely following convention, they find creative ways to help, being especially good at mobilizing people in crises. (More….)

• They’re : accepting, colorful, daring, generous, optimistic, persuasive, reckless, sociable, spontaneous, theatrical.  But not all like to perform.
They – cut thru red tape, share readily, juggle many projects, love surprises

Hidden side
Of all the Feeling types, ESFPs often have the most trouble dealing with emotions – not good at facing their own psychological issues because they tend to minimize problems. However, their Feeling side does shows up – in their genuineness – not playing games with others’ feelings or pretending to be someone they’re not, in order to be liked. Their natural confidence is usually enough to win friends & influence people.

Life’s Purpose: Making lively that which has become dull
• Their Law: “You shall always have fun
• They Comfort others by saying: I hear there’s really good karaoke bar in town

• They Say: I enjoy the good things in life – physical comfort & happy times.  Seize the day. Is there a fine for breaking the rules? OK I’ll pay that. SURE, but I can’t physically calm down right now!
• Communication: They’ll talk to anyone & everyone, as long as they feel the other person isn’t too intimidating to approach. They should stop talking about partying.

Weaknesses: Arrogant, conflict-averse, easily bored, impatient, poor long-term planners, over-sensitive
Manipulate: Everything has to be about having fun. Just went bankrupt? Not to worry – let’s go out, get drunk, find some ‘entertainment’….

Paradoxes: (Un-developed ESFP) Exciting & visionless. In tune with their environment, & oblivious to what’s really going on
Judge people: by their values   • Fear: Not being appreciate
Are Judged for: needing too much attention

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration.
Under stress, ESFPs need space to figure things out. They’ll get overwhelmed by negative thoughts & projecting negative outcomes. First they’re likely to feel depressed & disinterested, with diminished physical & emotional energy. Then become self-absorbed & indifferent to other’s needs, finally leaving their current situation altogether in search of a whole new alternative.

As psychological pressure increases, ESFPs can lose their individuality by acting flighty & superficial, wanting instant gratification, & disregarding the consequences of their actions. Others will see their unpredictability, as they indiscriminately go for what’s popular or trying to fit their environment, which damages their credibility.

 Hate: Boundariesbeing judged, co-dependent or lonely, lack of excitement. Not being to express themselves. People asking them “But, why?” to everything they say. Anyone them how to live their lives in great detail – or worse, drone on & on about it at a social gathering where the ESFP just wants to relax.
Asking for help because it makes them think they won’t be able to learn it

Don’t argue with ESFPs when they’re holding: a Celebration
• Never: Belittle you.  • Never tell them: I don’t like you

Advice: Don’t fall for sweet words. look for ‘right’ actions
ESFPs are the life of the party, but need to find healthy ways to have fun. It’s important to say ‘no’ to unnecessary experience, make wiser choices & try not to jump in impulsively, or they’ll be vulnerable to being taken advantage of. It’s best to stick to those who really care about them, whether they’re feeling happy or sad.

ESFPs can get easily distracted, not always finishing what they start & so have trouble meeting deadlines. It will help if they focus on a purpose that satisfies their inner values, figuring out their own priorities & what really matters to them, ignoring current trends.

ESFP Relationships (More….)
You love life, enjoying food & clothes, animals & human companionship. Partners & friends see you as supportive, fun-loving & spontaneous

Thrive in any that are: exciting & exploring (More…)
• As a Friend, you’re the one who gets excited by everyone & everything.
• Annoyed when: someone’s a total buzzkill

ESFP parent, child of  ESFP, ESFP child

Still single because: it’s what you want to be
Unhealthy behavior: Keep complaining “You don’t love me!”

Show interest by: Making a complete fool of yourself – but in a cute way
Show love: You listening to them warmly, paying attention to practical needs
• You want to hear: I notice you

• You’re attractive/sexy because you’re : radiant, glowing with vivacity, with an added earthy ‘I know what I’m doing’ vibe. Your inner strength & pure willpower are very attractive & admirable

• You should DATE someone who: can handle your spontaneity & let you be yourself, but can keep you in line. Who can help you take things more seriously & organize your sometime messy life

• To attract you, someone needs to: look good, make it clear they’re available & then wait a while. Your natural ‘people curiosity’ will eventually drive you to go after them

• Some Famous ESFPs: Adele, Arsenio Hall, Deepak Chopra, Goldie Hawn, Janie Foxx, Marilyn Monroe, Tony Robbins, Stephen Spielberg





SITEs: Each MBTI type at their Best




– EXECUTIVE / Supervisor / Overseer

Most FORCEFUL  – “That boss”
• 11.2% males, 6.3% females

GOAL: To execute.  
ESTJs are realistic, matter-of-fact, take-charge types. They usually have a definite vision of how things should be – easily stepping into leadership roles. They honor traditions & laws, with a clear set of standards & beliefs,  highly valuing honesty, dedication, dignity & security.

They’re practical & organized, putting a lot of effort into all they do. They excel at getting projects & people to their goals, as well as handling routine details. ESTJs are not interested in theories or abstractions unless they have practical applications.

Living in a present world of facts & concrete needs, many are likely to be athletic. As the loyal “Good citizen” they constantly scan the environment to make sure everything’s running smoothly & systematically. They use their understanding of what’s right, wrong & socially acceptable – to bring families & communities together.  (More….)

ESTJs are: anal, fair, determined, efficient, opinionated, productive, responsible, sociable, traditional. And not all are complainers.

Most of them aren’t actually self-righteous. If they are, it’s only toward their family, mainly from insecurity rather than because they think they’ve made the best decisions for everyone they love. In fact, when someone close to them makes life-choices different from their own, they secretly worry that maybe they should have taken a different route in their own life. Out of the SJ types (Sensing-Judging), they’re probably the worst at teamwork.

• Life’s Purpose: Bringing direction to the leaderless
• Their Law: You shall never make excuses for your incompetence
• They ‘Comfort’ others by saying: What the @#$% are feelings & why do you feel that way anyway??

• They say: I’ve written the rules down, & made copies for every one. I like to see things done correctly. Good order is the foundation of all things. Business before pleasure!
Communication: The ESTJ will tell someone if they’re making them angry. Please. Stop. They should stop talking about how nobody listens to them.

• Weaknesses: Inflexible, judgmental, stubborn, trouble expressing emotions, trouble relaxing, too dependent on structure / trouble with unconventional situations, too subjective
Manipulate: Push their will or idea by preaching about something 20 different ways to make sure others really get it

• Paradox: (Un-developed ESTJ) Orderly & unchanging (rigid: won’t allow whining in a hospital)
Judge people by: How competent they are
Are judged for: being too bossy  • Fear: Of uncertainty

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration
Under stress, ESTJs can too easily become domineering & inflexible, with an “Do exactly as I say….or else!” attitude. They’ll see others as ‘too sensitive’ & weak, so assume it’s time to take control & set things right, Impose their viewpoint on everything & everyone, they’ll be convinced their logic is the only valid standard.
Ironically they’ll also be hypersensitive & emotionally reactive (rather than proactive). They crave personal contact & affection, but are unwilling to let emotions show, taking it as the weakness they despise in others. (Similar to lower-level Enneagram 8s).
They accuse others of being corrupt, subjective & disrespectful, justifying their self-righteous anger. As the pressure becomes intolerable, they let out frustration inappropriately: bursts of rage, intense controlling, impulsive actions, addictions

• Hate: Anyone constantly goofing off, being disrespected or ignored, disorder, others making dumb jokes – or just crying. Forced to be emotionally open. Not in control of their life. Anyone showing up very late to a planned meeting, & telling the ESTJ they just ‘lost track of time’.  Asking for Help, because it makes them feel incompetent

• Don’t argue with ESTJs when they’re holding: A frying pan
• Never: Underestimate them.  • Never tell them: You’re not good enough

• Advice: Don’t expect everyone to be the same or try to make them be like you! 
ESTJs are very much a been-there-done-that type. In boring situations why not use the time to quietly plan something interesting? Always giving too much of themselves to their tasks, it would be good for them to occasionally forget about work & people – taking time to actually live in their life, letting each second slow to a halt to drink in their surroundings.

Focusing too much on the objective pursuit of their goals, they ignore ideas or feelings of others, because they’re not comfortable when emotional intimacy is required. They need to learn to accept the personal, subjective parts of themselves in order to connect with others – preventing isolation & loneliness.

Not waiting to get enough info before jumping into action, they can miss opportunities not already part of their plans. It would help to accept that they can’t control every outcome, no matter how hard they work – not everything fits rational principles – by acting on things they can legitimately be in charge of.

ESTJ Relationships
enjoy interacting with others, take relationships seriously & want to fulfill your roles responsibly. Partners & friends experience you as conscientious & dependable

• Thrive in any that are: steady & predictable (More…)
• As a Friend, you’re the one who takes the lead & makes sure everyone is getting their work done • Angry when: someone publicly humiliates you

• ESTJ parent, & child of ESTJ, ESTJ child

Still single because: you give off control-freak vibes
• Unhealthy behavior: Running way from hearing “I love you” for the first time

Show interest by: Being attentive, & an ‘ultra’ listener
Show Love: You handle practical matters for them, share useful info & advice
• You want to hear: I listen to you

• You’re attractive/sexy because: You have a commanding presence, seem strong, secure & in control. People wish they could handle things thrown at them the way you can. It’s hard to miss you with all that confidence.

• You should date someone who: can let you take charge, but also can stand up to you & put you in your place when you get too head-strong

• To attract you, someone needs to:  Have excellent hygiene, & constantly tell you you’re right.

• Some famous ESTJs: Presidents Truman, G.W. Bush & LBJ, actors Bette Davis, Barbara Stanwyck, Frank Sinatra, Rev. Billy Graham, Judge Judy, Ann Coulter (More….)






SITEEach MBTI type as enemy




ESTP – ENTREPRENEUR / Doer / Persuader

Most FUN  – “Adrenalin junkie”
3.0% females, 5.6% males

GOAL: To win. 
ESTPs are adaptable & action-oriented, focused on immediate results, who like to take a practical approach to problem-solving that will produce immediate results.  They apply common sense & experience to problems, quickly analyzing what’s wrong, & then fixing it, often in an inventive or resourceful way. Living in the here-and-now, they’re risk-takers who live fast-paced, traveling the world. They tend to be bored by abstract theories, impatient with long explanations, & learn best through doing. 

They have great people-skills – friendly, outgoing straight-shooters, & extremely loyal to their peers. Are good at picking up on little clues about others’ personalities & feelings, & can motivate others by bringing energy into situations. They’re not usually respectful of laws & rules if they get in the way of getting things done. ESTPs leap before they look, fixing their mistakes as they go rather than being idle, but prepare contingencies & escape clauses.

ESTPs are: charming, confident, crude, fearless, logical, spontaneous, trustworthy, unconventional. And not all are obsessed with sex. 

Surprising to some, ESTPs value book-smarts & often enjoy conversing with Rational types. They may not grasp ‘heady’ concepts as easily (nor apply them responsibly), but they find philosophical topics stimulating – just another piece of equipment in life’s big playground. While they’re naturally persuasive, they’re not usually interested in corporate & political arenas where they could thrive. Ladder-climbing in organizations doesn’t appeal to them – in fact, many ESTPs cringe at the very idea, so they rarely pursue these career tracks.

Life’s Purpose:  DOing when others don’t
• Their Law: “You shall always live in the moment!”
• They Comfort others by saying: Alright…..So you’re sad. Why is that?

• They say: I get more from first-hand experience than from study. Rules are made to be broken – so watch me break them! Life’s either a daring adventure or nothing at all
Communication: They’ll talk whether someone likes it or not. Look out world. They should stop talking about nothing.

• Weaknesses:
 Defiant, insensitive, impulsive, impatient, misses big picture, risk-prone, unstructured, contradict themselves
Manipulate: Mess others around because – one day you’re hung-ho about a life-changing project or promise, then lose interest in it the next day

• Paradoxes: (Un-developed ESTP) Knows they shouldn’t, & do it anyway. Bold & undependable. Think they’re funny, &/but only to those like them
Judge people: on their ‘smarts’  • Fear: Of commitment
Are Judged for: not taking life seriously

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration
Under stress they act first, figure things out later. They deal with problems & frustrations by going after more & more external stimulation & adventure (similar to Enneagram 7s). When disappointed or restless, they think it’s time to re-create their (lagging or previous) successful public persona. They either find a new audience to charm, or resort to some grand gesture to reinforce their image & make them feel desirable/ popular again.

However, internally they suffer from a deep sense of emptiness, so intimacy becomes almost impossible as they get increasingly detached from true emotional connections. As stress mounts, they get more agitated, chronically anxious, distracted & paranoid, but overactive, frivolous & too concerned with people’s opinions of them.

• Hate: Asking for help – it makes them feel stupid. Authority. Conventional or monotonous situations. Over-sensitive people. Constantly being asked how they feel about things. Forced to ‘tone it down’. Limits. Stupid people. When someone wants a heart-to-heart talk just as they’re ready to go out for some fun.

• Don’t argue with ESTPs when they’re holding: The door open for you
• Never: Dominate them.  • Never tell them: Nothing you do is very impressive

Advice: Keep your promises, or don’t make them at all.
ESTPs tend to have trouble managing their time, so they can lose interest in long, complex projects. Being so focused on immediate problems will lead to ignoring long-term ongoing issues. They live for excitement!, being the life of the party, thriving on adrenaline!  However, periodically taking some time to shut out the world – & writing down all their adventures – could help to create much-needed balance.

Many ESTPs are uncomfortable focusing on, exploring & talking about relationships. They need to take time to consider their true priorities, & to realize the effect their choices have on others around them. When they assume responsibility for their actions & acknowledge their importance in a larger context, they become more stable, reliable, & emotionally honest.

ESTP Relationships (More….)
truly love life, immersing yourself in it. Partners & friends experience you as adventurous but also pragmatic

• Thrive in any that are: fun & easy-going (More….)
• As a Friend, you’re the one obsessed with that one thing, & will. not. stop. talking. about it!
• Annoyed when: someone never want to go outside

ESTP parent, & child of ESTP, ESTP child

Still single because: it’s your choice
• Unhealthy behavior: Cheating

Show interest by: Being awkward
Show love: You’re attentive to their comfort, will motivate & boost their courage
• You want to hear: I’m excited with you

• You’re attractive/sexy because: Something about your down-to-earth, hands-on style is tantalizing – you ooze ‘tactile’. It’s hard to resist your passion & will-power

You should DATE someone who: doesn’t take your occasional stream of b.s. Who’s intelligent & can stand up to your know-it-all attitude. Who can keep you from taking too many risks, but lets you be yourself, & can also keep you excited

• To attract you (men?), someone needs to: Act sweet, wide-eyed, impressed with everything they do. Their ego will respond well to your fuel.

FAMOUS ESTPs: Donald Trump, cowboy Roy Rodgers, actors Eddie Murphy, Madonna, Bruce Willis, Biblical Jacob (OT) & Peter (NT) (More….)