Co-Dep INTERNAL Negatives (Part 2)


I TRY & TRY, BUT

never seem to get anywhere

PREVIOUS: Co-Dep INTERNAL Negatives (Part 1)

SITE: Factors leading to Co-dep

See ACRONYM page for abbrev.


INTERNAL
 High COST of angry-niceness
(cont.)

✔︎ Regretful – getting lost in the ‘Wudda-shudda-cudda” forest of self-recrimination & hopelessness, yet another way to prevent yourself from making healthy changes to improve your life

✔︎ Resentful – you don’t like this about yourself, but you’re filled with resentments. It’s the rage about what you didn’t get as a kid, & the rage NOW at not getting what you silently expect/demand from others. They’re supposed to read your mind so you don’t have to ask. And, why don’t they appreciate & reciprocate all you’ve been doing for them??  ”Why does _____ keep ignoring me? Why hasn’t she/he texted back? What did they mean by that remark??”…..

✔︎ Risk-Averse – being so dependent on others to feel OK keeps you from testing yourself to too what you’re actually capable of OR –
You can take risks in some parts of your life, proving you can do it, yet convinced you can’t try out new ways of doing or thinking – in other areas.

✔︎ Self-Sabotaging – making sure your goals & dreams never come true, staying in jobs & relationships you hate but can’t seem to extricate yourself, refusing to use the options that would help you move on.

✔︎ Sleepless (in Seattle??) – tossing & turning, worrying about what you have to do in the morning & the rest of the day – every day, about how you’re going to manage the ‘conversation’ you’re dreading (with the boss, a subordinate, a family member….), obsessing about an ‘incident’ yesterday by text or email because someone was mad at you….. NEVER ever really relaxed

✔︎ Suffering – stubbornly cling to your self-hate to (unconsciously) prove your deep loyalty to the family, so :
—  you pick people who are unhealthy, making yourself vulnerable to the same kind of neglect & abuse you got growing up, & sometimes even worse
— all the stress of suppressing your emotions + cruel self-talk + unhappy relationships = physical ailments, chronic & long-lasting

✔︎ Terrified – all the time, even if you don’t realize that’s why you’re breathing is so shallow. Scared to make a mistake or of not knowing something, of doing anything that will cause ‘them’ to leave you, or fire you, of taking a stand, of admitting your deepest emotions & sharing your pain, of honestly admitting your family’s abuse & neglect, or your own shortcomings….

✔︎ Trapped – with all the crazy, toxic people you’ve accumulated (& family you cling to), unwilling to extricate yourself because you don’t really want to see  how awful they are & how much they’re harming you, and you can’t bear the idea of ‘hurting’ them any more than they already are. BUT it’s OK to let yourself be terribly injured by them???

✔︎ Uncomfortable – in your skin, crying, being noticed in a group, with gifts or rewards, taking in praise & compliments, even the validation you say you crave

✔︎ Waiting – never having been allowed to know who you really are has insured that you can’t motivate yourself. You wait for any outside force to push you in some direction, never being sure if it’s what you want. If there’s no deadline or needy person – if it’s just you – you’re stalled!

✔︎ Wishy-washy – trouble making decisions, trouble being firm with others, sticking to your point of view: “What if it’s the wrong one? // What if they won’t like what I say? // I want o see what they’re going to do first // I’m not sure what they want me to be/see/feel… // I can’t figure out what to wear to that event, who should I be, how am I supposed to act?I don’t know what to feel about this”….

NEXT: Co-dep EXTERNAL negatives – in us #1

Co-Dependent Anger-Niceness (Part 3)

over-giving 

THEY NEED ME, THEY NEED ME!
If I can carry them, I’ll be loved

PREVIOUS: Secretly angry-nice #1

SITEArticle 1 // Article 2

 

KINDNESS vs Angry-NICENESS
True Kindness is a positive trait, coming from an inner place of abundance – the person having enough of their needs & wants met from their healthy family, themselves & in the world. It allows them to be reasonably happy with themselves & their life, without being complacent. As a result, they can be thoughtful & generous toward others, without desperately needing or expecting a return.

This satisfaction then translates into relating positively toward others, AND carries them thru hard times – showers or storms  – which happen to us all.  Being a genuinely kind person is never a liability when it’s an outgrowth of our personal nice neighborsstrength, emotional stability & human understanding.    (Boundaries posts).

True Kindness is all the opposites of co-dependence. It’s being true to our own needs & values, expressing this to others so they know where they stand with us.
Sometimes healthy kindness is uncomfortable. Sometimes it means saying ‘No to someone’s request or demand, because it’s not good for us, or not good for them – like not giving money to an active addict, or not spending the night with a stranger….

NOTE:  Our True Self may indeed be helpful, caring & kind. And for wounded people who want to scrub off the False Self layer, with enough Recovery we who are ‘natural helpers’ can find a balance between legitimate giving & appropriate self-care.
Other personality Types can finally uncover & admit that it’s not really their style at all – they need more privacy & solitude to fulfill healthy goals & natural talents.
ARTICLE:”For Everyone who has been called ‘Too Nice’.” Re. Positive niceness!!

Co-dependent Fake Niceness
Most people occasionally need to hide their anger behind the face of politeness –  especially when it’s the only way to protect oneself.  This is normal.
Here we’re focusing on suppressed-anger-niceness as a way of life. It’s a defense mechanisms, one of many ways our damage shows up, used to disguise our unhealed wounds of the past. Childhood abandonment always leaves us with a great deal of anger, which ‘nice’ people turn in on themselves. Lacking genuine self-esteem, we latch on to others so we can manipulate them into providing our many unmet needs, instead of working to develop these for ourselves.

Co-Dep is an outgrowth of self-hate, which tells us that we caused our own pain, from birth – on. And according to this distorted thinking, if wehappy-man caused it then we surely can cure it, which is the WIC’s sense of false power, who is convinced that we can control how we are treated – by being extra good – no, perfect!   (opposite of Al-anon’s 3 Cs)
But all we end up doing is twisting ourselves into whatever pretzel we think others want, and trying to fix people who are the least likely to change – the narcissists & addicts around us who are too self-absorbed to even see us, much less care. Neither effort ever works!

In reality we could not possibly have caused any of our early suffering, since the damaged adults who raised us were already fully formed before we arrived! It’s not fair that we have to clean up the mess they left us with, but we do have the power to heal much of it, if we want a better life. Yet many people are unwilling to shed deep-seated defenses as it would mean dealing with the original wounds that caused their need for them.

Without a strong inner core of self-esteem, clear thinking & good boundaries, the reason for the way we interact with others is not ‘clean’. At the very least, the surface agreeableness of our angry-niceness is a pretense. At the extreme, being overly-sweet, overly-solicitous, overly-helpful hides our anger even more deeply. All types are (almost) never angry – on the outside!

Actually, our carefully controlled actions are basically self-serving, because we’re only being ‘so good’ as a way of conning others into taking care of us – emotionally, psychologically – & often in all 4 PMES way. Whether or not we’re aware of our compulsive patterns is not relevant here. (See Part 1 re. Selfishness).too helpful

If you’re still actively Secretly-Angry, you want to be seen as a kind person, in spite of how you feel inside, because society considers that a virtue. And being desperate for positive strokes, you assume that’s what is always required & expected of you. But you’re still living in emotional deprivation, so no amount of people-pleasing will fill the void.

Then, the more you do for others, especially if there’s no acknowledgement or appreciation – the angrier you get. But ‘nice’ people aren’t supposed to get angry – so the feeling transforms into resentments.

NEXT: Co-Dep defined #2

ISSUES for Angry ‘Nice’ People (Part 1)

P-A issues
AS LONG AS I’M ‘GOOD’
I’ll be OK (I 
hope!)

PREVIOUS: Intro b

SITE: Danger of Suppressing Anger

QUOTE: Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways”.  Sigmund Freud

ISSUES
GREAT DESIRE:
• to be loved  //  to not be attacked // to not be alone or lonely

BASIC FEARS:sad girl
• of self-reflection //  being abandoned //  being punished

UNDERLYING ISSUES:
• feel inadequate, not entitled, self-hating, shame-bound
• not allowed to be assertive or angry, always assume rejection

WELL-BEHAVED, But ALSO:
• controlling, critical, unforgiving // indirectly cruel, attacking, vengeful
• depressed, fussy, hard to please, moody, shy, thin-skinned, withdrawn

PAY-OFFS for using defenses (ie. Negative Benefits)
1. False Weakness (see Original LL)
a. Avoid facing childhood pain
• Connecting with the pain of past & current emotional injuries makes us feel vulnerable, out of control, small & helpless. Anger is energizing – but not allowed – so we end up in constant anxiety, & don’t know why

bCreate physical pain (real or not), as substitute for #a.
• If we’re workaholic (do, do, do) and not allowed to rest / relax / have fun, we can get sick to slow us down
• If we’re not allowed empathy, sympathy, emotional support…. then physical ailments become a way to elicit some of it ‘legitimately’, since sufferthey are tangible & considered acceptable, while emotional hurts can’t be seen & are often considered a weakness
• If we’re not allowed to be/feel taken care of or to find the right kind of help, practically or psychologically, then being weak, sick, incapacitated…. can get us some attention

cContinue being mistreated & abused

• Some of us are so used to being in the victim role – which we really were as kids – that we don’t want to give it up as adults, because it would create separation anxiety from the family & our bad-parent Introject.
Being a victim is about the ‘poor MEs’, staying emotionally immature, waiting to be taken care of. While there is a lot of anger under this position, it’s not supposed to show!

dGet approval for a role
STOIC:Es in the body
Not letting ourselves experience & deal with jealousy, anger, sadness, fear…. is considered ‘strong’, & gently admired in many parts of our society, including the religious community.  They tells us it’s not OK (weak or un-spiritual) to admit to or show unpleasant ‘negative’ emotions, especially anger. It’s called  ‘loosing it, being emotional’. 
We’re even told that all emotions ‘cloud our judgment’.
Unfortunately obeying these dictates is harmful both physically & psychologically   (CHART)

DOORMAT: Being such a ‘nice’ person that you have no opinions or boundaries may make it easier on some people to be around us – especially narcissists – & superficially satisfies our WIC’s desperation to never be abandoned by others, but it insures that we abandon ourselves  (MORE….”Recovering Doormat”)

2. False Strength (See Reverse  LL)
a. Superiority
• Admired – as martyr, ‘good guy’, saint, ‘spiritual’
• One-up – needing others to be needy, sick, dependent, not successful

b. Controlling
• Emotional blackmail, to keep others fearful, attached to us
• Demand our own way (always) – ‘nice’ is only superficial
• Destroy ‘loved ones’  – if they try to be free, happy, themselvesignoring you

c. Punishing
• When we – the ‘good’ GIVER (G) – continually help / rescue/ dominate – another person, the Receiver/ victim/ inferior (R) must:
— have unquestioning, blind loyalty, never object or question
— always provide affection & total attention, care-take
• If the R. objects, withdraws or rebels, then:
— Giver (G) sees R. as selfish, ungrateful, abusive
— G. will punish R. overtly or covertly, attacking or withdrawing

NEXT: SYMPTOMS of Hidden Anger (#1)

Secretly Angry “Nice” People (Intro-c)

angry inner child
I DON’T LIKE
having these feelings!

PREVIOUS: Secretly-angry (Intro-a)

SITE: Emotions are NOT Bad Behavior
(What we needed as kids)

 


Ways we AVOID feeling anger
:

PERSONAL    • Ignore all uncomfortable emotions // Pretend painful things haven’t happened to us or our loved ones // Ignore RED flags in others
• Live in our head, obsessing // Constantly intellectualize, analyze
• Keep all our conversations superficial, only talk about what we’re Do-íngdistancing• Talk about everyone else’s business
• Bury A. under a guise of ‘spirituality’/ good works
• Keep so busy we never stop to notice emotions
• Cling to bad relationships, keep everyone at arm’s length, or avoid all
• Constantly think about self-improvement, but never risk taking action

PHYSICAL 
• Overeat /choose sugary & fatty foods
• Excessive use of alcohol, recreational or prescription drugs
• Any compulsive behavior (internet, smoking, sex, exercise, shopping, gambling …..) that distracts & numbs us
• Tight muscles, causing headaches, back spasms, shoulder pain, teeth grinding….
• Chronic/ auto-immune  illnesses, that keep us weak & debilitated

HIDDEN ANGER & ANXIETY
Anger
– like other Es – can be caused by many different internal & external circumstance (10 posts), in some cases an appropriate emotional response to various kinds of harm, & in others cases an over-reaction to a current event that triggers unhealed childhood wounds.

Fear is the survival emotion we feel in our nerves & gut when actually in a dangerous situation, like being high up somewhere, being yelled at or slapped,fight/flight suddenly get a serious illness, in a car accident, being fired…..

Anxiety
— future oriented: 
It’s what we feel leading up to a (real or imagined) dangerous, stressful or threatening situation – like anticipating going to the dentist, waiting to see the boss, in line at the airport…. And some people are born with a particularly sensitive nervous system, predisposing them to be more intensely affected by stressors, especially as children

— past oriented: It’s the suppressed psychic energy of rage & terror from years of living in chaotic, dangerous environments, which is now stuck in our body. This  backlog then fuels the fearful thoughts that are behind so much of our present-day worry. So we can connect Anger & Anxiety, 2 sides of the same coin, even tho on the surface they seem contradictory, because Anxiety is usually associated with fear, which can make us timid (Flight), while Anger tends to temporarily energize, fueling actions & reactions (Fight).

INTERESTING: Anxiety is far from a new thing. In the 4th century BC, Hippocrates wrote that anxiousness is “a difficult disease. The patient thinks he has something like a thorn, something pricking him in his viscera, and nausea torments him.”

EXPs of the anger-anxiety connection
• Irritation: 
Being anxious all the time can make us annoyed & miserable (“Don’t bother me!”), which can lead to more frustration & anger

Overwhelmed : the anxiety of having too much on our plate, with little or no  help, & already feeling inadequate – can eventually turn to hopeless-silent-anger, at ourselves or at others, or both

Loss of Control
: Being out of control for a long time is very painful & draining. But having to suppress our rage about it for many years creates its own anxiety – making us scared of ‘loosing it’, of not being able to hold it all down – because if were to let the rage out it would severely hurt others

Blaming: 
Continually being in unhealthy relationships leaves us with plenty of anger. If it’s unsafe to admit or expres it, it gets turned in on ourselves as S-H. When this becomes too great to bear, it gets projected out onto the world – usually towards everyone except the ones who originally injured us – passing blame for our woes onto others as a way of explaining the anxiety.

NEXT: Issues for angry-nice people #1

Secretly Angry “Nice” People (Intro-a)

secretly nice -1I ALWAYS HAVE TO ACT NICE
to hide how angry I really am

PREVIOUS: Multiple Intelligences #3e

POST: What about Anger?”

 

REVIEW
Our culture does not support, tolerate or excuse expressing anger in obvious ways – except when participating in or watching sports, or being drunk! Oh right, the BIRDS can be angry – but not humans! One reason is that most people assume there’s only one way to let it out – explosively, dangerously – which of course scares people, since it can be physically & emotionally unsafe.
But it’s not the only way (“Ways to react” posts).

Since everyone was born with the ability to feel anger (A.), just as we have the natural capacity to experience all the other Es – in varying degrees – each of us figures out how to deal with it, based on our personal tendencies & what we copied or learned as kids. In our society, A. is usually called a ‘negative’* emotion – even by the best regarded teachers, writers & therapists. This is wrong!
This misnomer comes from NOT separating the TEA components:
❤️ The Emotion itself (physical energy & information about our environment), vs.
💀 the way we frame it in our Thinking (acceptable or unacceptable), vs.
✍🏽 how we Act on it – Positively or Negatively.

*The E. of Anger itself should never be designated as a negative! It is not only blatantly inaccurate to do so, but does it a great injustice – because A. gives vital information about bad things happening to us or around us. NO emotion is negative, only harmful thoughts & actions are! A. is a necessary & appropriate reaction to 3 main things:
✔︎ being scared, being frustrated & being hurt (such as threatened, ignored, disrespected….). (see T.E.A. // ‘Feelings aren’t facts’ )

★ And anger is a healthy response to any abuse & deprivation of very real needs (attention, safety, respect, love, freedom, encouragement, comfort….)

Normally, Anger can be:
• an immediate response to a particular situation
• or gradually built up from a series of real or perceived injustices or threats
• or a slow escalation from long-term abuse, neglect, or treated unfairly

Emotionally HEALTHY Nice People have good self-esteem. They are:
• direct, clear & positive in communication & behavior
• happy, self-assured, assertive, confident, relaxed, easy
• well-behaved, socially appropriate, well-mannered, generous
• thoughtful, helpful, kind, loyal, respectful, sensitive to others

But when someone doesn’t have any safe outlet for their anger, it will go underground. It becomes a part of our ‘Shadow“,  (aspects of ourselves we find unacceptable) so we reject & push the anger into the unconscious.
However, the emotion never goes away on its own – until it is expressed in safe ways and by fixing the causes, if possible. Instead, it stays locked in our muscles, ligaments, organs & auras. (See ‘Symptoms)
Over time, this trapped energy will be too big to be contained & will end up coming out sideways!

Freud once likened anger to the smoke in an old-fashioned wood-burning stove: Normally, the smoke goes up the chimney, safely away. But if this is blocked up, the smoke will leak out – thru the grate, under the door, thru the vents…. choking everyone in the house. It needs to be cleaned out. But if all avenues of escape stay blocked, the fire will eventually go out, making the stove useless.

In the same way, blocking up the natural flow of our anger-energy becomes harmful to self and others. If we shut it down for too long, it puts out our internal fire, & makes us ineffective. We need a safe outlet for all emotions.

NEXT: Secretly angry nice people (Intro-b)

MULTIPLE Intelligences (Part 3e)

Spiritual growth 

THE DEEPER MY INSIGHT,
the more I connect with the universal

PREVIOUS: M.I. (Part 3d)

SITE: Gardner’s M.I. apps for iPads

NOTE: See ACRONYM page for abbrev.
MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES cont. (Howard Gardner)
9. SPIRITUAL / EXISTENTIAL (spirit-smart) – seeing the big picture, likely a whole-brain function, which is increased by prayer & meditation, because they lessen the blood flow to the parietal lobes, which normally gives us a sense of time & space.

This group is concerned with the morals, ethics & values of life, looking for real-world understanding, & the application of new learning. They have the sensitivity & capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, how did we get here, what’s our purpose, & why do we die. They’re not afraid to look into the depths of truth to find the hidden answers, to think of other possibilities.

Being particularly aware of their own existence & introspective, they’re drawn to exploring existential & philosophical questions, including what may lie beyond death. Even as ‘every-day’ people, they have deep thoughts. They understand their role in others’ lives, and how they play a small but important part of the whole game. They are in constant search of their purpose of living.
They:SPIRITUAL
— see their role in the ‘big picture’ of things
— learn new things better when it’s value is known
— value truth & justice
— enjoy discussing questions @ life & death
— religion or spirituality is important to them
— find relaxation or meditation exercises rewarding
— are sensitive to different cultural environments
— want to make a difference in the world
— seem “wise beyond their years”, peaceful
— are “universalistic”, more tolerant  & respectful of diversity

For centuries philosophers have been debating the nature of human intelligence. We are different from the other animals, but why? Do we have a soul? Is there some sort of duality between the corporeal flesh and the mind or spirit? Did we acquire our unique capacity for rational thought and all that goes with it as a result of some special act of creation or did it just happen as a result of evolution through natural selection?

Dr. Gardner divided this category into:
Existential Intelligence
— concerned with ultimate issues – the larger spiritual concerns of life
— an ability to intuitively sense & gather clues from the environment – (people, places, things), contributing to the whole picture
— the ability to pick up energies & have access to information without actually being able explain exactly why or how we know these things.

Moral-Ethical Intelligence
— focused on the highest realization of human nature.
— an innate sense of morality – not necessarily associated with religion – but as a statement about the kind of personality, individuality, will, and/or character that a person has developed

VIRTUES:
Conscience – know the right, decent way to act, & act in that way8 virtues
Empathy – identify with and feeling other people’s concerns
Fairness – choose to be open-minded, & act in a just, fair way
Kindness – show concern for the welfare & feelings of others
Respect – value others by treating them in a courteous, considerate way
Self-control – regulate thoughts & actions , to stop internal pressure & external reactions, to acting in the right way
Tolerance – respect everyone’s dignity & rights, even if they have beliefs & behaviors we disagree with

CAREERS: life coaches, cosmologists, prophets, philosophers, religious teachers, poets
INCREASE ability: make connections between book-learning in & the world outside, to see the big picture, look at every issue from different points of view, relate specific topics with national & global concerns

TECH ideas: Google earth, Discovery Education, Podcasts, GarageBand, Powerpoint, Keynote
FAMOUS People: Jesus, Aristotle, Plato, Socrates,Martin Heidegger, Buddha, St. Augustine, Wayne Dyer.

BOOK: “Ethical Intelligence” by Bruce Weinstein, PhD   // REVIEW  //  QUIZ

* * * * * * * * * * *
WORK: There’s a natural correlation between the M.I. categories of human learning
& the knowledge & skills needed for 21st century workplace productivity.  This CHART shows the way each mental style contributes it’s specialty to modern-day tasks. wok & M.I.s

MULTIPLE Intelligences (Part 3d)

nature lovers 

I LOVE OPEN SPACES
inside & outside!

PREVIOUS: Multiple intelligences (Part 3c)

SITE: “The Heart’s Code – tapping the wisdom & power of our hear energy”
~ Paul P. Pearsall

MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES cont. (Howard Gardner)
7. NATURALIST (nature-smart) – respond to the natural environment.
This group is sensitive to all living things (plants, animals) & other features of the natural world (clouds, rock formations, minerals) – due to a highly developed sensory perception. This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters-gatherers & farmers, and continues into today for chefs, horticulturists, scientists….. and is also used by consumers to make choices from the overwhelming variety of brands in the marketplace.

As young people they enjoy shows & stories about animals or natural phenomena. May show a strong interest in astronomy, biology, botany, geology, meteorology, paleontology or zoology. They feel most alive when in contact with nature, & so are interested in exploring, nurturing & preserving the environment.

The repetition & boredom of office, factory & other workplaces can stifle creative thinking. This is because the brain-area that stores routines / patterns based on daily activities (basal ganglia), does not encourage new thinking. To give imagination a boost, we can tap into our latent Naturalistic I. whenever /wherever possible – like going barefoot sometimes. Nature helps stir insights & connections, so we can let it nurture our mind & encourage sensory awareness!
They:NATURALIST
— highly aware of surrounding, even subtle changes
— bothered by pollution, sensitive to weather
— prefer being in nature preserves, parks, forests
— walk in the woods, follow animal footprints
— automatically categorize or collect things
— collect natural things (rocks, feathers, shells….)
— keep notebooks, dry flowers, create specimens
— like to learn names of all kinds of living things
— enjoy studying plant parts & reading about nature
— have a green thumb, garden, photograph landscapes
— passionate about animals, pets, zoos
— like to play in/live by water, be in the wilderness

ENJOY: being outdoors & with animals
LEARN: Thru using the senses, watching animal behavior, experiencing, identifying & recording ecological principles
TOOLS: binoculars, magnifying glass, use microscopes, telescopes

CAREERS: Scientist, ecologist, animal trainer, farmer, traditional medicine man using herbal remedies (MORE….)
INCREASE ability: be in the great outdoors: plant a seed, volunteer at an animal shelter, take a walk with a naturalist, read about animal classifications (start with kids’ books). Study relationships in the natural world, compare/contrast groups or make connections to real life issues

TECH ideas: Discovery Education, online encyclopedias, Google earth, virtual explorations, iMovie, digital cameras, iPods, video cameras
FAMOUS People: Charles Darwin, John Muir, George Washington Carver, Rachel Carson, J.J. Audubon, Jacques Cousteau

* * * * * * * * * * * *
8. SPACIAL/VISUAL (picture-smart) – think in images & pictures.
This group has the ability to think in three dimensions – imagine, understand & represent the visual-spatial world. They can orient themselves in their environment with either vision or touch, navigate in the world as well as to determine the perspective of others.

As young adults they may be fascinated with mazes, jigsaw puzzles, or spend free time drawing or daydreaming. Compared to Auditory-Sequential learners, they tend to be late-bloomers.
Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasoning, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills & an active imagination.  EXP: know exactly how furniture will fit into a room without measuring, or buy a scarf that beautifully matches/complements the blue in a blouse you have at home (perfect “chromatic pitch”).
This mental activity includes street smarts & common sense, by making decisions based on matching a variety of situations & contexts. This requires learning & remembering almost simultaneously (fluid & crystalline – see Part 1) which is possible because of a switchboard in the brain.
They:SPACIAL : VISUAL
— daydream, imagine & pretend more than others
— enjoy art & other visual activities
— like machines, drawing figures
— build interesting 3-dimensional objects
— have good hand-eye coordination
— need to doodle or draw
— prefer geometry over algebra
— notice details, good with maps & directions
— good at formulating hypotheses
— can rotate, transform & otherwise manipulate objects

ENJOY: art, designing, drawing, imagination games, illustrated books, movies, puzzles, trips to art galleries / museums, visualizing
LEARN: visually & by organizing ideas spatially, verbal & physical imagery. Need to see concepts in action in order to understand them.
TOOLS: charts, 3-D modeling, drawings, graphics, photographs, TV/ video, multimedia

CAREERS: architect, film director, chess player, painter, pilot, sailor, sculptor (MORE….)
INCREASE ability: change main color of work or home environment, be a backseat driver & provide directions for a trip, fit groceries in the back of car, do jigsaw puzzles & mazes, sculpt clay, play chess. Capture ideas on video. Take an architecture course. Use Pecha Kucha presentations to stimulate & challenge (embraced by designers of all types)

TECH ideas: Kid Pix, Draw and paint programs, Excel, Create A Graph, United Streaming, Visual brainstorming, organizational tools, charting, and diagramming, bubbl.us, gliffy, YouTube, Discovery Education, Comic Life, Quicktime, add music to presentations and movies, Podcasts, iPhoto, Photo Booth, Read Write Think: timeline

FAMOUS People: Winston Churchill, Einstein, Picasso, Stanley Kubrick, Anatoly Karpov (chess master), Georgia O’Keefe

NEXT: Multiple intelligences (Part 3e)