SITEEach MBTI type as enemy




ESTP – ENTREPRENEUR / Doer / Persuader

Most FUN  – “Adrenalin junkie”
3.0% females, 5.6% males

GOAL: To win. 
ESTPs are adaptable & action-oriented, focused on immediate results, who like to take a practical approach to problem-solving that will produce immediate results.  They apply common sense & experience to problems, quickly analyzing what’s wrong, & then fixing it, often in an inventive or resourceful way. Living in the here-and-now, they’re risk-takers who live fast-paced, traveling the world. They tend to be bored by abstract theories, impatient with long explanations, & learn best through doing. 

They have great people-skills – friendly, outgoing straight-shooters, & extremely loyal to their peers. Are good at picking up on little clues about others’ personalities & feelings, & can motivate others by bringing energy into situations. They’re not usually respectful of laws & rules if they get in the way of getting things done. ESTPs leap before they look, fixing their mistakes as they go rather than being idle, but prepare contingencies & escape clauses.

ESTPs are: charming, confident, crude, fearless, logical, spontaneous, trustworthy, unconventional. And not all are obsessed with sex. 

Surprising to some, ESTPs value book-smarts & often enjoy conversing with Rational types. They may not grasp ‘heady’ concepts as easily (nor apply them responsibly), but they find philosophical topics stimulating – just another piece of equipment in life’s big playground. While they’re naturally persuasive, they’re not usually interested in corporate & political arenas where they could thrive. Ladder-climbing in organizations doesn’t appeal to them – in fact, many ESTPs cringe at the very idea, so they rarely pursue these career tracks.

Life’s Purpose:  DOing when others don’t
• Their Law: “You shall always live in the moment!”
• They Comfort others by saying: Alright…..So you’re sad. Why is that?

• They say: I get more from first-hand experience than from study. Rules are made to be broken – so watch me break them! Life’s either a daring adventure or nothing at all
Communication: They’ll talk whether someone likes it or not. Look out world. They should stop talking about nothing.

• Weaknesses:
 Defiant, insensitive, impulsive, impatient, misses big picture, risk-prone, unstructured, contradict themselves
Manipulate: Mess others around because – one day you’re hung-ho about a life-changing project or promise, then lose interest in it the next day

• Paradoxes: (Un-developed ESTP) Knows they shouldn’t, & do it anyway. Bold & undependable. Think they’re funny, &/but only to those like them
Judge people: on their ‘smarts’  • Fear: Of commitment
Are Judged for: not taking life seriously

Become STRESSED from situations shown in the illustration
Under stress they act first, figure things out later. They deal with problems & frustrations by going after more & more external stimulation & adventure (similar to Enneagram 7s). When disappointed or restless, they think it’s time to re-create their (lagging or previous) successful public persona. They either find a new audience to charm, or resort to some grand gesture to reinforce their image & make them feel desirable/ popular again.

However, internally they suffer from a deep sense of emptiness, so intimacy becomes almost impossible as they get increasingly detached from true emotional connections. As stress mounts, they get more agitated, chronically anxious, distracted & paranoid, but overactive, frivolous & too concerned with people’s opinions of them.

• Hate: Asking for help – it makes them feel stupid. Authority. Conventional or monotonous situations. Over-sensitive people. Constantly being asked how they feel about things. Forced to ‘tone it down’. Limits. Stupid people. When someone wants a heart-to-heart talk just as they’re ready to go out for some fun.

• Don’t argue with ESTPs when they’re holding: The door open for you
• Never: Dominate them.  • Never tell them: Nothing you do is very impressive

Advice: Keep your promises, or don’t make them at all.
ESTPs tend to have trouble managing their time, so they can lose interest in long, complex projects. Being so focused on immediate problems will lead to ignoring long-term ongoing issues. They live for excitement!, being the life of the party, thriving on adrenaline!  However, periodically taking some time to shut out the world – & writing down all their adventures – could help to create much-needed balance.

Many ESTPs are uncomfortable focusing on, exploring & talking about relationships. They need to take time to consider their true priorities, & to realize the effect their choices have on others around them. When they assume responsibility for their actions & acknowledge their importance in a larger context, they become more stable, reliable, & emotionally honest.

ESTP Relationships (More….)
truly love life, immersing yourself in it. Partners & friends experience you as adventurous but also pragmatic

• Thrive in any that are: fun & easy-going (More….)
• As a Friend, you’re the one obsessed with that one thing, & will. not. stop. talking. about it!
• Annoyed when: someone never want to go outside

ESTP parent, & child of ESTP, ESTP child

Still single because: it’s your choice
• Unhealthy behavior: Cheating

Show interest by: Being awkward
Show love: You’re attentive to their comfort, will motivate & boost their courage
• You want to hear: I’m excited with you

• You’re attractive/sexy because: Something about your down-to-earth, hands-on style is tantalizing – you ooze ‘tactile’. It’s hard to resist your passion & will-power

You should DATE someone who: doesn’t take your occasional stream of b.s. Who’s intelligent & can stand up to your know-it-all attitude. Who can keep you from taking too many risks, but lets you be yourself, & can also keep you excited

• To attract you (men?), someone needs to: Act sweet, wide-eyed, impressed with everything they do. Their ego will respond well to your fuel.

FAMOUS ESTPs: Donald Trump, cowboy Roy Rodgers, actors Eddie Murphy, Madonna, Bruce Willis, Biblical Jacob (OT) & Peter (NT) (More….)



Meyers-Briggs INTRO – charts (Part 1b)




SITE: INFJoe Cartoons



REMINDER: When people consistently differ from each other in how they see & interact with the world (different MBTI types), it’s only reasonable  they’ll differ in their interests, reactions, values, motivations & skills.

Our TYPE is Innate, Observable
TYPE can be Influenced
TYPE is not a box, not an excuse
TYPE indicates Preferences, Not skills
TYPE is a life-long Journey
E = ‘I have to experience life to understand it’
Stop by to see me. Communication: Talk it out
I = ‘I have to understand life to experience it’
Do not disturb. Communication: Think it thru
J = ‘I run my life.  Work: Glad this is done’
Joy of closure
P = ‘I live my life’. Work: I have plenty of time
Joy of process

 S = ‘I need to work thru a problem to see a result’
This was great for the price. Communication: Specifics
N = ‘I see results/solutions to problems at the beginning’
This just gave me a great new idea! Communication: Big picture

T = ‘I can be insensitive’.  Work : She has good credentials. 
Logical implication
F = ‘I can be too sensitive’. Boss re. candidate: I like him. 
Impact on people
👨🏻‍🏫👩🏽‍🏫WORK The middle two letters of our specific type are the best predictor of career choice. (
ST, SF, NT, NF Being in the wrong job for our type makes the job difficult & make us feel like a failure, while being in the appropriate job/career guarantees success, even when there are things we may not like about it, or if it takes time & effort to ‘get it right’! (More….)
NUANCES (facets)
The official MBTI typing instrument is made up of 93 questions. It provides the taker with the 4-letter code we’re most familiar with (ISFP, ENFJ….), the Type that stays with us throughout life. It also identifies where we fall on a continuum of 20 sets of nuances,(see below) 5 per preference. Using our various facets makes it possible to fall in a mid-zone within our type, & allows us to say that how we act depends on the situation!

EXP: Some Thinkers are wired to respond with certain facets of Feeling in special circumstances, some Judgers can be casual when feeling safe, some Introverts will be gregarious in certain contexts. …. In other words, we’re not all typical.
These possibilities are not allowed for in short-form questionnaires

The following CHARTS explain the 40 possible aspects that make up all the expressions of personality type, including the out-of-preference/ atypical facets.
Each of us is a unique mixture of our Type’s 20 nuances. It all comes down to brain plumbing.  (More re. Brain in future posts ). So an ESTJ would have 5 Extrovert, 5 Sensate, 5 Thinking & 5 Judging possible characteristics…..
• You may identify as an Introvert (I), which is your innate preference which will include facets commonly displayed by Is, & some that are outside your category. This means that an Introvert could have 4 (I) nuances & 1 usually preferred by Es.

CAVEAT: Popular on-line tests are weak or useless because they condense the # of Qs from the official / correct questionnaire, & also change some of the wording. This leads to homogenizing the outcome. Some people will fit the ‘box’ built into these tests, while others will be slightly off from their pre-set ‘norm’, making the conclusions unreliable. The missing “extra” Qs in the original/ official test, which may seem repetitious, are needed to capture those important nuances of personality type & cognitive function.


MBTI types & D.I.S.C. (Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, Conscientiousness)




Meyers-Briggs INTRO (Part 1a)

why I do things!

PREVIOUS: Psychological Disorders #6

SITEs: M-B: Does it pay to know your type? (includes some MBTI history)
• The Dynamic Basis for Type 

ORIGIN: MBTI is a personality inventory used by psychologists, as well as a tool for self-discovery, made up of 4 dichotomies (8 opposing functions). In 2000, an estimated two million people took the test, making it the most frequently used inventory available. First introduced in 1942, it was the work of mother & daughter Katharine C. Myers Briggs and Isabel Briggs.

It’s based on Carl Jung’s theory of types, outlined in his 1921 work Psychological Types, which said that human behavior follows from an inborn Extroverted (E) or Introverted (I) way of interacting with the world & of being energized. This became the 1st level. (MBTI History….)

*** Jung also identified 2 basic functions of Consciousness: (more in Part 2)
💚 Perceiving: Making decisions – either by Thinking or Feeling (T/F).

👁 Judging: Absorbing info – either by Sensing or Intuition (S/N)

S-N & T-F became levels 2 & 3, which are the core of typing. (MORE….)

Is was Isobel Myers who later listed Judging & Perceiving as separate components, giving us the 4th level. Each preferred function is expressed consciously (T over F, E over I….), while its less desired opposite shows up as behaviors driven by repressed, unconscious parts of our personality (as character defects?) (MORE… )

TOO SIMPLE? At first glance, only looking at the 4 opposite categories (which are on a broad continuum), the MBTI may seem simplistic. BUT – there are many nuances derived from various sets of connections, yielding a valuable range of deeper & more detailed personality insights.

• PREFERENCES: Our ‘mental process’ comes from using MBTI’s 2 middle levels (S-N, T-F), to identify each type’s preferences, from most to least, which form Stacks. The strongest one has the most powerful influence on our personality growth. If allowed to develop naturally, we come to trust this favored style, the Dominant (ENFJ = Extroverted Feeling), & our second most preferred one becomes the Auxiliary (ENFJ = Introverted Thinking).  (More in future posts)

Type falsification: However, too often family, school & culture won’t let us develop on a natural path. EXP: A child who easily prefers the T function will try to make logical, objective decisions, but is made to feel guilty in an F-oriented family for not focusing enough on group harmony & other Feeler values.
So this child grows up to devalue their preferred dominant &/or auxiliary functions, having been pushed to develop other less-natural ones instead. Gradually they’ll ignore & then suppress the ability to trust their inborn decision-making process (T), or to notice & use important T info could give them throughout life.

This CHART shows how Jung’s Psyche components generate the 4 functions – from a fascinating article of a Jungian analysis of Shakespeare’s ‘Macbeth’, which includes the False Self, a lack of S & I, the Shadow…..

JUNGIAN definitions
Introversion – An orientation to life via “subjective psychic content”, so that the ego/conscious Self is focused on its internal world, which includes the collective unconscious & its archetypes.
NOT isolators, not intrinsically shy or withdrawn, Is are however more comfortable living within the ‘limits’ of their inner world of thoughts, feelings, fantasies & dreams. They don’t like crowds, noise & hub-hub, but can be very talkative & sociable on a one-to-one basis.

Extraversion – A concentration of interest in external objects – whereby the ego/overall personality is mainly concerned with gaining gratification from what is outside the Self. Es greatly enjoy human interactions – being assertive, enthusiastic, gregarious & talkative.
NOT: automatically socially adept, easy with everyone or know what to say in very situation. Wounded extroverts are likely to sit on the sidelines & wait to be approached, or hide behind work, activities & authority roles.

 – for those of us who straddle the Type fence of choices .

Also see: “The Ambivert advantage”

👂🏾 If you want to know what an Extrovert is thinking, just listen.
👄 If you want to know what an Introvert is thinking, you have to ask them.
Read EXPLANATIONS of this ⬆ list

NEXT: M-B Intro #2a

Psychological DISORDERS (Part 5c)

I know what to look for!

PREVIOUS: Personality Disorders (Part 1)

SITE: “How to deal with a PS
* “Grey rocking – if you can’t go No-Contact” (re. NPDs)
* “Grey rock method of dealing with a Psychopath”


ORIGINPsychopathy is generally considered a combination of genetic & chemical imbalances. Scans of PS brain show the section responsible for impulse control & emotions (compassion & remorse) is not developed.  So they lack the proper neurological framework to develop a sense of ethics and morality.

PSs are born with cortical under-arousal, with temperamental characteristics such as impulsiveness & fearlessness, leading to a lot of risky activities.
Also, t
hey don’t ‘get’ (internalize) social standards of behavior, making it impossible to act appropriately. They’re just as likely to hurt their family & friends as they are strangers
IMP: PSs are not ‘insane’, as in losing touch with reality like in psychosis

<—- CHART, side view: In the extreme, Cluster B PD  people suffer from a brain anomaly dramatically affecting their mental abilities & a basic part of their personality. The anomaly is called Cave of septum pellucidum, causing the meso-temporal lobe to be diminished or starved. This scan shows reduced amounts of ‘grey areas’ in the prefrontal cortex & temporal poles, areas that normally play a vital role in expressing emotions & governing moral behavior.

Top view —> Affected people are not capable of a sense of self-worth, guilt, introspection, self-consciousness, awareness of consequences….. nor attachment to, empathy with, concern for, or even ‘like’ – much less genuine feelings of love – for anyone. Others have no meaning for the PS except to be used for personal gain. And with no conscience, there’s nothing internal to stop them from doing horrendous things to others, & believing that it’s ok. (VIDEO of child psychopath)

• “The LIE  (the more elaborate, the better) is the primary weapon used to snare their victims, & the inner justification for their right to cause harm. (like Bernie Madoff)

To a PS, lying is as easy as breathing, since they have no physiological reaction to thinking or expressing lies (blushing, heart racing, sweating). When caught, they just create more ‘stories’. They can be Narcissist, Victim, Con-artist or Professional (political, religious, absolute)” (MORE….)
For extensive characteristics, read posts Red Flags from PSs

FROM ‘Ms No world Order’ website: “They can be found in every culture, races & socio-economic levels. They thrive in a collective environment, & are common at the top of most power structures – corporate, government & religious.

Psychopaths are manipulative & can easily gain people’s trust because they’ve learned to mimic emotion, & so appear “normal” to the unwary. They’re often educated & hold steady jobs. Some are so good at faking & conning that they can have families & other long-term relationships without those around them ever suspecting their true nature. (Dexter)

These are the people we most associate with aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior, without empathy or remorse. They’re angry & deeply abnormal (unhealthy), who need to have control over others & cannot nor want to sense other people’s emotions. They get a high off of their anti-social actions.(MORE….)

1. Distempered PS
Primary:  violent predators, don’t respond to punishment
Secondary: risk-takers, are violent, but fear getting caught
2. Charismatic PS
Primary : can live the ‘big lie’
Secondary :  can tell the ‘small lie’& live with it

Abrasive – like to be different, can’t be trusted, will insult… to win an argument, always proud when they come out on top. They have no remorse – even for the greatest cruelty
Explosive – immediate & frequent access to their rage – taking it out on whoever is available. They can erupt unpredictably, & are savage when loosing control, taking down a victim before the person knows what just happened.

Malignant – driven by paranoia, but changing their beliefs & pt of view depending on how much they ‘like’ someone. Unlike other PSs, their methods are ineffective & backfire on themselves. They’re been the victim of terrible abuse from others & so are terrified of everyone, which generates elaborate horrendous revenge fantasies, which they obsess over but don’t do

• Malevolent
– cold-blooded & ruthless, paranoid &/or sadistic, they’re much more controlled than the Explosives. They’re convinced that the purpose of tender emotions in others (love, kindness, sympathy…. ) are only used to manipulate the PS, so they fear/hate those, & refuse to feel them.
They love power & get off on mistreating others. If they don’t get what they want they’ll react with arrogance, contempt & cruelty, & so includes many murderers & serial killers.

Tyrannical – cool & cunning & inherently violent, they’re turned on by the vulnerability of others. They’ll only target people to prey on who they sense will capitulate, & avoid resisters. Their victims must totally submit or join the PS as the weaker ‘partner’, delighting in the other’s humiliation & intimidation. They relish the suffering of others, often taking a token to relive the abusive experience.
Modified FROM Quantumcast – video

NEXT: Personality Disorders (Part 3)

Psychological DISORDERS (3c)


are just twisted versions of the True me!

PREVIOUS: Disorders #3a

SITE:   What is High-functioning Anxiety?



c. Transactional Analysis  – The IMPASSE
Def : 
A road or passage having no exit, as a cul-de-sac
A situation so difficult that no progress can be made. Deadlock/stalemate

In psychological terms, impasses are formed as Type 1, 2 & 3 developmental stages in childhood, during which script-decisions are made. Scripts – our unconscious plan for life /internal ‘story’ – are usually based on unmet needs & abuse. This causes inner conflicts between one’s Parent & Child ego states, & usually experienced by the child first as a personal failure – an internalized sense of inadequacy. Parents, wider family & society present, repeat & reinforce scripts – in some cases positive, but in most cases harmful. (See the Gouldings’ 12 script themes – similar to the ACoA Toxic Rules)
This shows the power & active participation of children in their own development.

As adults, we all carry a representation (model) of the world  & ourselves – where we belong, how we fit in, our work & how we do it, & where we’re headed. If the source of this model comes from a dysfunctional family, it will always fall short of dynamic, ever-changing reality – limiting our S & I growth.
An impasse (being stuck in some area of life) indicates a need for change in order to move forward. The different intensities of psychological disorders represent various stages & intensities of impasse. (MORE...)

CHART: 3 development stages of conflicts between inner Parent (P) & Child (C)
3rd degree impasse (Po-Co: Birth to 6 months, pre-verbal, even pre-natal)
These earliest conflicts are produced by the type of connection between mother & child, depending on how they relate day after day. They will be around the issue of survival, between: abandonment & engulfment, destroying or being destroyed, worth & worthlessness….

EXPIf the mother has an unhealed WIC – stuck in her own impasse – her wounds get communicated to the baby, day after day. If she is insensitive, controlling or brutal – the effect on the baby is predictable.
However – much more difficult to identify later on –  if h
er grown up Adult & Parent parts are used to activate, even improve her parenting style, without Recovery her behavior won’t have any affect on her little C1 ego state. No matter how she tries to cover it up, her deepest damage will unconsciously keep re-traumatizing the baby. 

A depressed or angry mother can ‘responsibly’ feed & look after her baby son every day, but he knows / senses his mother is emotionally bereft. He intuits (or is told) that he needs to take care of her – all focus must be on her instead of his own feelings & needs – OR ELSE she may somehow leave (die). So he feels unworthy to be taken care of & worthless for not being able to help her, which causes intense anxiety. So he slowly develops defensive patterns like people-pleasing / isolation / addictions…., which form his False Self.

As an adult, this earliest impasse continues as deep-seated conflicts in PMES forms such as muscle tension, psychosomatic complaints, immune disorders…. & expressed verbally in symbolic images, such as “I feel as if I’m in a fog, lost, cold & alone, there’s a wall up between me & everyone else” …. 

 2 degree impasse (P1-C1:  6 mths – 6 yrs)
Made up of Injunctions (authoritative orders) carried by feelings /emotions. They become internalized, often through non-verbal comman
ds, at a time when the child has only a basic grasp of language. Script-decisions made are around basic theme about the child’s identity, such as: “Who am I? // Am I important? // Don’t grow up // Don’t feel”….. Later on, it’s much harder to remember how these issues developed, so the person usually doesn’t know they’re stuck back there

 1 degree impasse (P2-C2 : 6+ yrs old, when they can understand language)
The struggle here is between what the child should & should not do, what behaviors are socially acceptable or not. Internalized verbal
instructions (counter-injunctions) will be things like: “Please others // Always try hard // Be a good boy or good girl // Never get angry”….. These are more accessible to awareness, so later on it’s easier to remember who gave them & in what form.

BREAKING the Impasse – options
When the Bad Parent is so strong that it keeps the messages in place, the person gives in & continues to live by the original ‘rules’, keeping the Healthy Child bound. HOWEVER – 
a. When the person’s Wounded Child refuses to go along with its Bad Parent’s messages & is finally allowed to get angry, it liberates the Healthy / Free Child
b. The Bad Parent’s injunctions are agreed with, but the Healthy Child’s needs are ‘redefined’, often in humorous terms. Then both sides win.
EXP = Parent voice: “You’re crazy”
Child: “I may be crazy, but I’m never boring!”:)

NEXT: Disorders #4a

Psychological DISORDERS (Part 3b)

when I  have to travel

PREVIOUS: Disorders #3a

BOOK:Neurosis & Treatment: A Holistic Theory. – A. Angyal


2. NEUROSES (cont.)

Neurotic Disorders
Agoraphobia w/ panic – perceiving some environment to be unsafe with no easy or possible escape, needing to stay hidden indoor
 • Conversion (hysteria) – neurological symptoms (numbness, blindness, paralysis, fits) without a well-established organic cause, causing significant distress, traced back to a psychological trigger
Depersonalization – feeling disconnected or estranged from one’s Self – of being an outside observer of ones thoughts or actions

Dissociative (DDNOS) – chronic & recurrent identity disturbance due to prolonged & intense coercive persuasion (brainwashing) – disrupting normal functions of consciousness, memory or perception of the environment
Generalized anxiety (GAD) – the “worry cycle”, being concerned about getting through the day, but with no apparent or current problem

Hypochondriasis – excessively worried about having a serious illness, despite the absence of any actual medical diagnosis
Neurasthenia (from stress &/or isolation) – a mechanical weakness of the nerves, with symptoms of anxiety, depressed mood, fatigue, headache, heart palpitations, high blood pressure & neuralgia
Neurotic Depression – same mental & physical problems as depression, with less severe but longer-lasting symptoms

Obsessive-compulsive – the need to repeatedly check things, perform certain routines (“rituals”), or recurring thoughts, which control behavior
Phobic state – an  irrational fear of a place or situation that makes one feel powerless & not in control
Panic (without agoraphobia) – sudden periods of intense fear that may include palpitations, sweating, shaking, shortness of breath, numbness, or a feeling that something really bad is going to happen

• Post-Traumatic – caused by experiencing a single or prolonged traumatic events, & includes physical flashbacks, nightmares, & intrusive memories
Social anxiety – significant amount of fear in one or more social situations, causing considerable distress & impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life
Somatization – multiple recurring clinically significant physical complaints representing emotional pain

A Different Perspective (non-traditional, non-medical)
a.  Students of the Enneagram start with each Type’s distortion or flaw, seen as a positive characteristic which has been bent away from True Center – because of wounding experiences. This is similar to the ancient Greek notion of sin or fault as hamartia = ‘missing the mark’. If you aim at a target with a bent gun barrel or crooked arrow, you’ll miss the target.

Starting in childhood, when we need the most nurturing & encouragement, our vulnerability turns our innate strengths into weaknesses ONLY —
— IF our values are attacked, discounted, made fun of or in any way violated, so we feel threatened & scared
— IF our strengths are challenged, distrusted, dismissed or questioned, so we can become anxious, guilty, ashamed & angry

Inner Child work is about uncovering & healing the wounds / vulnerabilities created when growing up. It’s discovering where our WIC is hiding, how & where it hides, & from what, and what it really needs. By knowing our specific sensitivities, our EnneaType can be used as a guide to growth. (MORE….)
FLAW                                                    GIFT
#1 – Criticism /Resentment              ==  Serene / Good
#2 – Pride / Flattery                          == Humble / Loving
#3 – Deceit / Vanity                           == Authentic / Effective
#4 – Envy / Moody                            == Emotionally balanced / Original
#5 – Avarice / Stingy                         ==  Unattached / Wise
#6 – Fear / Cowardice                      == Courageous /Loyal
#7 – Gluttony / Avoidance               == Sober / Joyful
#8 – Lust  / Vengeance                     == Subtle / Protective
#9 – Sloth  / Withdrawal                  == Engaged / Peaceful

(MORE ….  ➕ what each EnneaType really wants)

BOOK: “The Positive Enneagram“, Susan Rhodes

b. SIMILARLY – Andras Angyal (1965), a neo-psychoanalytic therapist, wrote:  “The real traumatizing factors are those which prevent the person from expressing these basic tendencies. In the neurotic development there are always a number of unfortunate circumstances which instil in the child a self-derogatory feeling……”  (MORE – excellent)
However –
✳️ “The person’s essentially healthy features exist not beside but within the neurosis. Each neurotic manifestation is a distorted expression of an individually shaped healthy trend. (p.228).
The distortion must be clearly seen & acknowledged, but the healthy core will be found within the distortion itself. So, when a person learns that the neurosis is an exaggerated version of health, they can feel less shame, & be more hopeful.”
• In other words – trace the neurosis back to it’s original strength & focus on expressing that instead.

NEXT: Disorders #3c

Psychological DISORDERS (Part 2b)

took a lot of effort!

PREVIOUS: Disorders #2a

SITE:  7  vitamin supplements that improve mental health

1. NORMAL (Healthy – cont.)

REVIEW: tools that improve Mental Health
• Value yourself     • Take care of your body (food, rest, exercise, sleep…)
• Learn how to deal with stress     • Quiet your mind  • Practice gratitude
• Surround yourself with good (healthy) people
• Set realistic goals   • Look for ways to change routines (travel, learn….)
• Express kindness to some else (but NOT at your one expense!)
• Practice saying NO!   • Get help when you need it!    (MORE ideas….)

NOTE: ACoAs can achieve a large portions of mental health by getting the right help & consistency using all the tools available to us, throughout our life!

Our coping mechanisms develop organically in response to frustrating, difficult & painful situations / experiences. They function like a human firewall, a psychological immune system needed to defend against hurtful & abusive relationships, while hopefully allowing healthy / nurturing relationships to pass the protective walls. (Posts: Boundaries .… weak, rigid, healthy)

At their best:
Defenses are important to know about because they strongly influence how easily people can form & maintain healthy relationships, while being able to reject unhealthy relationships. Knowing when to be defensive & when not to be – is key for health.
We need them to keep us safe from people who mess with us, but also need to be able to relax & let the wall open up, to keep the capacity for innocence, availability & healthy connections. (Posts: Trust …. over. under, healthy)

At worst: Defenses are harmful & debilitating when they turn into psychological armor solidified into stone or iron, not allowing trust & spontaneous interactions with positive PPT (people, places, things) in our life.

 MATURE Defenses (Healthy)
Altruism = You derive true pleasure from helping other people—and if you couldn’t, you’d get depressed
Anticipation = When you know you’ll be faced with a challenging situation, you try to plan ahead so you won’t be overwhelmed
Distraction = When something upsetting may happen or has already happened, consciously deciding to put off distressing thoughts (which add anxiety) by temporarily focusing your attention on something less threatening

Humor (not humiliating, mean, sarcastic….) = You try to see the funny side of situations, even when they’re stressful or potentially upsetting
Identification (healthy version) = When in new or scary situation, you temporarily use characteristics of an admired/respected person you don’t automatically/naturally have (EXP from the Enneagram:  Picking up positive characteristics of the Number at the end of your Type’s “Security Point” arrow) 
Introjection (healthy version) = When you acknowledge a missing skill or trait you value – you can absorb inputs from the environment & make them a part of yourself
Sublimation = when you’re feeling anxious, you do something constructive such as cooking or woodworking
Suppression – If you’re bothered by something or someone, you keep the lid on your feelings if letting them show would interfere with your goals.

HERITABILITY (the likelihood of inheriting a trait) is a population-wide statistic which assesses the proportion of variation in the population one can attribute to heritable genetic variation.
— If heritability is 1.0, all of the variation is genetic – offspring are just a linear combination of their parents
— If heritability is ~0.0, then there’s basically no correlation between parents & offspring. While it’s a population-wide statistic, it can be informative on an individual level. EXP: the heritability of height is ~0.90 in the Western world. (More….)
See Survey CHART  re. Genetic influence on human psychological Traits – which can give a rough sense of the “pull” that biological inheritance will have on an individual. Biology may not be destiny, but it is definitely probability.

Some Behavioral Traits w/ HIGH Heritability
• Aggressiveness, Hard avoidance, Impulsivity, Reward-dependent
• Altruism, Empathy, Nurturance, Well-being, Persistence (or stubbornness)
• Assertiveness, Leadership, Constraint (non-impulsive)
• Sociability, Social closeness, Traditionalism, Physicality  (More….)

Article: “All Human Behavioral Traits are Heritable” from studies in BioDiversity

NEXT: Personality Disorders (#3a)